Did I not predict that the next General Overseer of the Sinners’ Chapel will be a great man? If I had doubts about the functionality and accuracy of my crystal ball, Chief Vincent Ogbulafor cleared them on Thursday when he promised us all that PDP will rule Nigeria for 60 years. You men of little faith may not believe him but I do. And before you get a court injunction stopping me from parading myself as a seer, I am seriously considering retiring into making predictions. I have this gut feeling that I would make more money from it than this ‘dem say and I quote’ business.

I know a lot of you have muttered and even shouted tufiakwa and God forbid and I reject it in Jesus name like a million times since Thursday but you should face reality. Apart from the fact that when a new Bishop takes over a big cathedral like the PDP, he must make promises to take his congregation to higher level, take a good look around you and tell me if things are not looking up for our great party. Unlike those who were looking for just a third term, this new G O wants to rule forever and I enjoin you all to say after me: my friend Ogbulafor is a great man. And if I catch anybody murmur that Mazi Ogbulafor is a dreamer, I will sue such a fellow straight at the Supreme Court.

If you cannot see what a red cap chief is seeing, go get yourself a powerful pair of glasses.
From where I am sitting I can see that PDP members are men of great foresights. In 60 years, they would have raised their children as successors. Even kids born later this year would be old enough to hold all and any political office, from councilor to President. Those kind of children are called Abioye in Yorubaland. We will feed and educate them from state treasury and then they will become governors, senators Vice president and President. Ogbulafor had it all figured out. There is no party like PDP, believe me.

But while you are trying to fix your spectacles to see what our great visionary and PDP chairman can see, I’d lead you by the hand like a good neighbour.
Is the EFCC functioning under the anointing of PDP or not? Is the Senate Committee Chairman on Health, Mrs Iyabo Obasanjo-Bello from the PDP or not? Are you not amazed at the unction to function of these people? Look at it this way. EFCC laid siege to the distinguished Senator’s home for hours and while they romanced their weapons outside, Madam reportedly scaled the fence. Somebody shout Halleluyah. And I have been wondering how Madam Senator did it and if the mischievous reporter who told us helped her up the fence. Was she wearing a skirt, denim trousers or iro and buba? A wicked friend of mine said she may not even be wearing anything. Whatever happened, EFCC men, about a dozen of them could not arrest one woman.

Next thing they would do is seal off the Abuja motor park to search the trunks of Station wagons for Madam. If the EFCC does not know where to look, Madam knows where to hide. In any case, I don’t think EFCC is looking for Madam, neither do I for a second believe that Madam is running .It’s just one of those things that can happen when a party is getting set to rule for 60 years. Is Ogbulafor counting from 1999 or 2008? Whichever is the take-off point, we are in for a long haul.

Did an aircraft disappear into the skies under the watch of a PDP-led aviation ministry and government? Shape of things to come, my people. We must not chase away a party that has the wherewithal to ship us all into the skies without a trace. The PDP has done something unprecedented hereabouts and we should be grateful to the big boys. If EFCC is on your trail, find a small aircraft and fly away in it. If you have loot to hide, the sky is your limit. And once a plane is missing, we can create employment for hunters and cattle herdsmen. In fact, if another plane gets missing, we shall be obliged to extend PDP’s tenure to 120 years. Or you know another party that has led this country and cannot find a missing plane in over a month? Please, let us give all the needed support to the General Overseer, even if he is speaking the language of the spirits.

Is the mace of the Ekiti state House of Assembly still hibernating in the custody of the police? I think at some point in the 60-year reign of the PDP, a Police Commissioner will get sworn in as the Speaker of one State House of Assembly. Wait a minute, is Ekiti state a PDP state or an AC one? I get confused sometimes, but by virtue of the party that produced the sitting governor, I guess it is okay to leave Ekiti in the jurisdiction of the GO. That could mean any number of things.

One thing is sure, peace, stability and progress have become scarce commodities in that state. When the legislators are not flaunting their prowess as native doctors on sabbatical, they are throwing punches with their ties threatening to strangle them. And when they are bored with all that, they take to the streets, shooting one another and then denying it even when the victims have bullet holes on their bodies. Now, if we cede power in Ekiti, who will provide all these drama sessions? How will we produce the first state where a police commissioner will become the Speaker? As a test run, I think all the policemen at the various checkpoints in Ekiti should take the mace in their custody and constitute another House. Nature abhors vacuum and if the people who were sworn to do the job prefer to behave like the Biblical Esau, then let’s resort to the Plan B.

The drama that ushered in the Bayelsa Acting Governor into office is another reason why PDP will rule forever. As soon as it became obvious that the erstwhile Speaker,Worinepre Seibaguru would step into Timipre Sylva’s shoes, a faction of the House issued a statement that Sebaiguru had been impeached on Tuesday and so could not become Acting anything, least of all a governor. I bet they impeached Seibaguru in their dreams and were just ready to make trouble. You can’t put anything past militants especially if they are in PDP.

Was it not one PDP state called where a Commissioner got missing and the government promptly started searching under Oshiomhole’s ‘conductor’ suit. The government came up with the brilliant idea that the absence of an information commissioner would impede their appeal against Oshiomhole’s victory at the election tribunal. Poor Enoma was neither a Senior Advocate of Nigeria nor the state’s Attorney General. But in PDP, logic is usually turned on its head. So, instead of looking in the right place, they commenced a search under the comrade’s singlet. Now, the police are saying that my poor friend of something that sounds like magun (thunderbolt). Well, I do not like to speak ill of the dead even if PDP is bent on leading me into temptation.

For all those who thought Ahmadu Ali was PDP’s migraine, I think Ogbulafor is the man to watch. He’s the one who may just end up as the party’s brain tumor. For starters, bros Vincent does not see anything wrong with Nigeria becoming a one-party state. In fact, he said he’d love it. Well, that means that AC and the other parties will have to do more than send out press releases and hoping that ‘God will not allow it.’