Enemies … Building blocks to fulfilling your destiny (Part 2)
By Tussy Afam-Obi
Tuesday, September 4, 2007

We began this interesting series last week where I pointed out the fact that enemies often pretend to be friends. But their real nature is revealed in just a matter of time. When the chips are down and the going gets tough, real enemies are exposed. Read on, as we continue today.

Your enemy could be the very person you love:
One of the definitions of enemy is “a hostile force.” Can you think of hostile forces in your life? Sadly, some hostile forces are those whom we have cast our pearls at. You share your lofty dreams with some of your family members, loved ones, friends etc., and all you get from them is attacks, undue criticism, cynicism, sarcasm, sometimes, outright fits of rage, hatred and belligerence. Dear friend, don’t take such reactions to heart. It is part of human idiosyncrasy. That is why God remains God, and man remains man.

God is the one to whom you should have absolute confidence and trust. Man can fail you when you least expect.
The truth is that it takes an innocent, mature and genuinely godly person to appreciate other people’s success. Man by nature is intrinsically jealous and envious. Such emotions if not controlled result in hatred and outbursts of wrath. So I reiterate, don’t let the reactions of enemies kill your joy or deprive you of staying focused on your lofty dreams.

How to handle enemies in your life:
First, identify the level of hostility; whether temporal or permanent. Temporal hostility as the word implies, is temporary, fleeting, subject to change. Some erstwhile ‘enemies’ could actually be real friends in disguise.
For example, you might have a loved one, mentor, colleague, friend or acquaintance who simply doesn’t get excited and thrilled about your dreams. Such persons might be fastidious, hard to please, excellence driven, averse to mediocrity/shoddiness, rather skeptical about your motives, level of preparedness, qualification, experience, competence or expertise. If you search the depth of their hearts with a radar, you will actually find genuine concern and care. They don’t actually hate you; their hostility is a temporary force to make you go back to the drawing board, revisit your vision, refine your plans, strive for excellence and awaken the giant within you.

Such people challenge you, humble you, point out your limitations and shortcomings, and push you to go the extra mile to find gold, diamonds and every precious talent buried within you. They make you go back to school to sharpen your skills, make you do extra research, force you to attend a training programme and seminar, spur you into a life of service, selflessness and relevance, and ultimately make you be the best that you can be. Their good intentions are evident when they see the end product of your struggle and efforts. They celebrate you! They feel happy and proud of you. Finally you can discern that they were not actually enemies, but a positive force; building blocks to help you fulfill your destiny. Such persons require your eyes of maturity and intuition to discern. You need them in your life to push you to your next level of favour and significance.

Sometimes, such ‘enemies’ actually are handicap when it comes to helping you. They may have genuine intentions, but they simply don’t have the means to assist. They criticize without offering useful advice. Perhaps their previous experiences, hurts, disappointments and failure have put them in a box of suspicion, fear and negativity. They don’t want you to get over ambitious so as to avoid disappointment. I recommend you learn from such persons. Their fears, experiences, failures and counsel can help you work better, plan well and prepare more appropriately for success. They help sharpen your focus, teach you to prepare for, and overcome challenges, and other important lessons of life.

They help build your character! You need such hostile forces to knock reality into your head. You will have to assess your plans better, get rid of childish and unrealistic plans. It will help you stop building castles in the air or having delusions of grandeur. It will also keep you humble and faithful, as you realize the need for divine intervention in everything you do.

You need such forces so that you wake up from your slumber, avoid living in a fool’s paradise and focus on service, adding value, pursuing excellence and working diligently and smartly at fulfilling your destiny. Young folks will particularly find this true of their experiences with teachers, parents, mentors, supervisors or leaders who drive us beyond limits, putting pressure on our potential in order to discover our best talents and hidden treasures. Ultimately, such pressures are inevitable for your growth and progress. Keep a date next week as we continue. God bless.