Some Christians may be facing challenges in their marriages but may not knowwho to confide in. The help that they seek may not be far away as answers abound in a book Real Issues in Christian Marriage, written by Pastor Dan Ogun.

Pastor Elijah O. Daramola, Senior Special Assistant to the General Overseer Region 10 and Provincial Pastor, RCCG North 5 Province, Abuja in his foreword observes that marriage has remained a major aspect of man because it was instituted by God. In as much as we attach much importance to the family, marriage too is very important. The book actually brings reality to homes and particularly Christian homes.

The book, Real Issues in Christian Marriage is divided into eight chapters. Chapters one and two which center on General Introduction and Making your marriage work explain that there are two processes a Christian marriage must go through. First the Christian must comply with the requirements of native law and customs provide they are not in conflict with the Christian faith and the provisions of the Marriage Act. At both levels, the church plays an active part in ensuring that the Christian couples are well guided.

The author goes further to add that marriage is an honourable institution, which must be held sacred those who choose to go into it. Genesis 2:18 says “ It is not good that a man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him”. Marriage is thus expected to be an antidote against loneliness and the fundamental rationale of giving the wife to the man is to heal loneliness. It is not God’s will that if a man gets marries, he should again desire to be alone. Several marriages today are victims of a faulty foundation because some people just paired on the street, offices or at parties while some become forced partners as a result of unwanted pregnancy.

The author urges spouses not to deny their partners their due rights and privileges such as sex, affection, respect, honour, submission, trust and benevolence because if a spouse is in such a situation, he/she may suffer some limitations in life. The existence of voice of denial in every marriage relationship is a hindrance to receiving answers to prayers because it breeds misunderstanding. The husband is to dwell with his wife with understanding so that their prayers will not be hindered.

In chapters three and four entitled, Give me my Rachael and Sex in marriage is fun, the author discloses that love is fundamental underlying to every marriage. A man or a woman at one point in time begins to develop a feeling of wanting a marriage partner. As a Christian, he/she begins to pray for God’s guidance to choose the right person and when chosen, necessary steps should be taken to ensure that the marriage is properly contracted.

The most intimate level of every relationship between a man and a woman is consummated in sexual intercourse which is only permissible within the framework of a properly conducted Christian marriage. Anything outside this is abhorrent, condemnable and sinful. God will judge fornicators and adulterers because He expects that marriage solves the problem of immorality. For God, sex in a marriage is a honorably; thing/affair (Hebrews 3:14) as none of the couple has the sole authority over his/her body because it is jointly owned. It has to be administered, jointly because there is nothing like male/female chauvinism once they are married. Sex heals emotional needs, it eases tension, it stimulates love and heals hurt, so couples should use and enjoy it.

In chapters five and six on pages 35-53, with the topic “ Samson must die for my marriage to rise and The Eunch factor in marriage. The author notes that Samson is not only a person but a symbol of issues and practices that must die for a new marriage to spring up in every relationship. In Judges 14:1-3, Samson goes to Timnah from amongst his brethen to the daughter of the Philistines, who were the oppressors of Isreal against whom he was raised. Samson hobnobs with his enemies and left the assembly of the righteous (Isreal) just as many spouses have left the place of safety and started a journey that will ultimately destroy their marriages. Hebrews 10:25 admonishes Christians not to forsake the assembly of believers as many people have assembled ideas that oppose righteousness in marriages.

In dealing with the eunuch factor, the author gives some recipes for couples to come out Eunuchism. They should study and believe the Bible and act on what it says on marriage- rights, duties, obligations, and mentoring. They should also read and act on Christian books with regards to marriage. Other things they should do include praying and fasting, open treatment of their spouses with honour and without shame, declaring one’s value and respect for one’s spouse and being sexually available to one’s spouse and learning to make one’s marriage a fun to always enjoy.

In chapters seven and eight, Third party influence in marriage and Love, Submission and Respect, the author rightly observes that any other party that comes to a marriage relationship must do so in order to add value to it and not otherwise. Hebrews 13:4 says third parties take different forms, which could be in-laws, friends and acquaintances. In dealing with third parties, the husband must be firm to control what happens in his family just as the couple’s relationship with the third party must produce blessings or be a positive influence. The three inter-playing fundamentals of every marriage relationship is love, submission and respect.

Research has shown that wives who show great respect to their husbands usually succeed in getting them to do their desires and biddings. As a woman, the easiest way to win the husband’s confidence is to glowingly respect, honour and reverence him as she will certainly be in charge and her marriage will be peaceful and blissful.

The book Real Issues in Christian Marriage is written in simple and easy to understand words. There are quotations from the Bible to support the book but there are a number of errors which the author should guide against in future. For example, on page 6, Repercussions as Repercautions and it is repeated on the same page. While on page 25, His socks was written as His sucks.

Pastor Dan Ogun is the Zonal Pastor in the Redeemed Christian Church of God, he is also a lawyer of over 24 years in legal practice. He was once an Ag Chief Magistrate and currently a director in the Public Service in the country. He holds a PhD in Law and a Post Graduate Diploma in Theology from The Redeemed Christian Bible College. He is happily married and is blessed with four children.

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