| Men like to date me
…But I said no to Mowarin when he made advances - Shirley
Aghotse, Miss Tourism
By Nike Bakare
Tuesday, August 2, 2005
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Shirley Alero Aghotse
Photos: Sun News Publishing
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The media have been awash with tales of romance between Shirley
Alero Aghotse, Miss Tourism, and her promoter, Elkanah Mowarin
of EOM Network. Some even say they were live-in lovers before
things went awry recently. What is the truth?
Shirley Aghotse speaks to Daily Sun, and she says it’s
the truth, and nothing but the truth.
Background
My name is Shirley Alero Aghotse, I am 23 years old, I am
from Oghara, in Delta State. I was born in Delta State, though
I did my secondary school in Ibadan. I was a third year level
student in Delta State University before I became Miss Tourism
Nigeria. I have an OND in Business Education also from Delta
State University. I am from a family of five, I am the first
child and I have two other siblings, a boy and a girl.
My daddy is a lawyer and my mother a contractor, I grew up
in Lagos, Ibadan, and in Delta State.
My parents are from Delta State, my mother is an Itsekiri
woman, and my daddy, Urhobo.
As a young child growing up for me was exciting because I
had the opportunity to live in different parts of the country.
And I was able to learn different things about different people.
So, it was fun, I can’t remember ever having a dull
moment while I was growing up.
Initially while in senior secondary school, I wanted to be
an architect, but ended up reading Business Education. But
now I think I want to go into politics. I am reading Business
Education to become a businesswoman. Our society is a developing
one, we really don’t need something complicated to make
money. What you need is the necessity, the professions that
are indispensable and business is one of it. Education too
is inevitable, and that’s where Business Education comes
in. After my reign as Miss Tourism Nigeria, and after I have
completed my degree, I will go out of the country to do law
so that I will be really ready for the future. Like I said,
I will really want to go into politics and I need to know
my rights.
I never planned to be a beauty queen, though while I was young
my uncle’s friend used to call me Miss Nigeria, but
I really never took it seriously. I really wasn’t cut
out for modelling and stuffs like that back then. But when
I got into the university, I met this guy who organises beauty
pagents in DELSU(Delta State University), his name is Ayo
Makun. And he seems to think that I have the qualities of
a beauty queen, maybe because I was so skinny then. And he
actually encouraged me to go into beauty pageants. So, I went
for it, I later competed and won the Miss Personality in my
school in 2000, and later Queen of Delta, 2000/2001. And here
I am Miss Tourism Nigeria.
The journey
In 2000, I was discovered and that was when I started going
into beauty competitions. I remember that the first national
pageant that I took part in, I didn’t make it. I don’t
think I lost because I was not beautiful enough, but because
I was inexperienced. It was The Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria
2001, the one Agbani Darego (Miss World) won.
I was very naïve and nervous on stage, it was somebody
that pushed me into the competition. But one thing about me
is that I don’t like failure, the determination was
not just to be a beauty queen. I was determined because I
had started something and I must finish it. And that’s
me, I don’t like to fail in anything. And I now also
realised how very important it is to be a beauty queen. For
I saw how Agbani became Miss World, so I now see it as an
avenue to be recognized and also is another way of being able
to influence some decisions.
As a beauty queen, you are no longer that small girl, you
will live a life that you can only imagine to live may-be
in your 40s, because you get to meet people you wouldn’t
dream of meeting at this age ordinarily.
What the pageant has done for her
I have been reigning now since November 2004 as Miss Tourism
Nigeria. And I must say I have gained from it, the exposure,
and I am at a level now. And it is not about my age any more,
the fact is that Iam a relevant person in the society now.
And I had the opportunity of taking part in an international
pageant, Miss Tourism World, and out of over 90 contestants
from different countries of the world, I was 4th runner-up,
making me an international beauty queen and model. And, of
course, the pageant has taken my privacy away but it has really
given more than it has taken.
It’s an opportunity of a lifetime. Yes, I can say
partially not fully that I am living my dreams. I have been
working with the government both at state and federal levels.
At the 3rd Commonwealth Tourism Ministers Meeting in Abuja,
I played host to delegates with the Minister of Culture and
Tourism. And now I have my own pet project, that Iam working
on. It’s called PET, Public Enlightenment on Tourism.
PET is about inculcating the right kind of attitudes in Nigerians,
and even foreigners. I want Nigerians and foreigners to believe
in Nigeria again, and I know the president has been doing
that. But I would like to make my own contributions too. Let
the world know all the tourist sites we have, and really making
good noise about these places. After my reign I hope to go
back to school, and also go into politics, because I hope
to become the first female president of my nation. And maybe
get married.
Dating
Before the pageant, I wasn’t dating anybody, Now that
I am a queen, I do get many advances from men. I am a very
young and beautiful woman, and many men would like to date
me. I do appreciate that, but right now that is not my priority,
I really do not want to be distracted. I have many things
that I still need to do, I don’t think I have the time
for a relationship right now, I am very busy.
And besides, I am a role model, I don’t want people
reading negative things about me in the press. I want the
right message to be passed on about me, I don’t want
people to have a bad impression about me. And like they say,
if you live in a glass house you don’t throw stones.
Her alledged romance with Elkanah Mowarin
Well, I met Mr. Mowarin during the Miss Tourism Lagos Pageant.
And he said I had all the qualities it takes to be a beauty
queen. And later he told me he is the consultant to the Miss
Tourism beauty pageant. And he wasn’t the only person
that came to me and said that I had the qualities of a beauty
queen, most people thought that I messed up with my questions,
that I should have won the Miss Tourism Lagos. And that was
how I met him at the night of the Miss Tourism Lagos Pageant.
He actually sent somebody to me that night, then I didn’t
really know the organisers of the pageant too well, I think
he sent one of their agent, to me. And after I became Miss
Tourism Nigeria, as the consultant of the pageant I had to
work with him. Because we had many tourism things to do, like
getting advertisements, and sponsorships for the pageant,
visiting potential sponsors too, endorsing products and stuffs.
So, I had to work with him. I was always with him and my pageant
director, Barrister Nike Agunbiade, was always busy in the
office. When he organises things, I go with him, and he was
always with me because he is the consultant. And that was
the situation.
And there was no objection from the pageant director, she
never objected to us going to places together. She sees nothing
wrong in that even till now. And I didn’t think anything
was wrong with that too, because he was working with the organisation,
until some members of my family started to object, so I knew
there was a problem, and a need for a change. So, I complained
to the pageant director, and she said that I had to continue
with the arrangement for now, that it might not be the same
arrangement with the next queen.
By this time, I had started seeing some publications. The
stories in the press were not too good about me, because I
am not that kind of person. They were writing things, like
me going out with my consultant and stuff like that. That
was too cheap, so I complained to her, but she said it was
not going to happen to the next queen because it is a new
pageant, that is why that could happen. Well, working relationship,
that’s all I have with him. Of course, someone you work
with, you can’t be his enemy. He could need me at his
office on Eric Moore road, that’s when we are going
out for a function. Or he could say where he is going to pick
me. Yes, he did make love advances to me, you know I am a
beautiful young woman, and at a point in time, he started
doing that. But I made him to know that we had to be very
professional, I let him know that I am not allowed to have
a boyfriend and I don’t want scandals, because I am
not cut out for that. I do understand, acting human, I am
a beautiful young woman, am a beauty queen. He is an eligible
bachelor, but I didn’t want any of that, and at a point
I got tough. And I almost brought in some marketers who would
be working on my behalf, they are somewhere in Lekki. And
I was even thinking of using some lawyers, because I was beginning
to see that he might not work for me the way I would want
it, if he becomes emotional. You don’t mix business
with pleasure. I thought he took my no for an answer well,
but for me to now start to read things on the pages of papers,
I am beginning to doubt him.
But I know that he should be a better man, I don’t think
he would want to blackmail me. Stoop so low, or he would want
to be that cheap to start writing that he is dating me. I
don’t think he would want to do that, but if he did,
it is very, very sad. I don’t think there was a cordial
relationship between us after I said no. I just started to
put distance between us. There were things we were working
on together, and at a point in time he started complaining
to my director that I wasn’t working with him and that
she should talk to me. And I couldn’t come out straight
to the owner of the pageant, that’s my pageant director.
But I started having doubts, I am a young woman, just straight
from school, and I have a family name to protect. So, I just
tried to be diplomatic about it. And my director just said
I should try and work with him because he is the consultant.
That maybe next year when she wouldn’t have a male consultant
for the pageant. No, I don’t have anything apart from
work with Mr. Mowarin. And besides, Mr. Mowarin has a girlfriend,
she is an half caste.
And I was sent by the director, and the company secretary
to see him at the hospital, and this lady was there taking
care of him and she even told us that she spent the night
there. I am really shocked about what I read, and I want to
believe that he didn’t say all that, but you know right
now I am vulnerable and one thing that I have realised as
a beauty queen is that, everybody around just wants to pull
you down. I really, really feel betrayed, if he did that,
because I took him as a brother, I realised he is an Urhobo
man from my state. So, I just warm up to him. And he does
so many things for the company, like getting visas from the
British Embassy. You know I am still supposed to go back to
London, because I am the 4th runner-up to Miss Tourism World.
I have to do some things for them, I have not collected all
my prices. But because I have been busy here, I have not been
able to go. So, he is working on that for me. Right now I
felt very vulnerable, I don’t even know who to trust
in this Lagos, I just can’t wait for my reign to be
over.
Her dream man
In those days, in the days of Mills and Boon, he has to be
tall, dark and handsome, and rich in everything. But I know
now this is real life, this is not fantasy, just someone ideal,
someone you will love. He just has to be responsible, the
look does not matter, though it is an attraction. But there
are other things that are more important than looks. He has
to be God fearing, he has to be beautiful from the inside
out. He has to know how to treat a woman, and someone that
is ready to accommodate me. I am not an average girl, someone
that will not intimidated. And I am a very independent person,
he has to be a flexible man. It won’t be easy loving
me, that I know, so that’s my ideal man. And he has
to be a well-groomed man, able to express himself anywhere.
Beauty does not matter to me, but I won’t want a dwarf.
Modelling plans
Before now, I wasn’t interested in modelling, because
I was never motivated. I was hoping that maybe when I become
a known face, I would be able to make more money from modelling,
that was what I thought then. Now that I am Miss Tourism Nigeria,
I don’t think I want to do modelling jobs in Nigeria.
Maybe abroad, yes. And I know models are not paid well here,
and I don’t like to be used, I don’t like to fail
at anything and neither do I like to be used.
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