The aso-ebi has come to stay
By YEMI OMIDIJI
Saturday, January 14, 2006

These days when one goes to parties be it wedding party, naming ceremony, or any other kind of party, you see different groups of people seated together wearing either same colour of the head tie popularly called gele or attired in outfits cut out from the same fabric. Some times these people could be spotting both gele and outfit at the same.

In case you don’t know, they are said to have done aso-ebi for the celebrant of the party. The celebrant has the choice of whether it should be the gele type of aso-ebi whereby ladies turn out in the same head tie or it could be the attire type where they are attired in the same tailored clothings. It is a craze that is becoming the norm.

You can then ask what is the story behind this Aso-ebi craze? Before now, the aso-ebi thing was limited to the people from the western part of the country who are known to host a party at the drop of a hat. Parties are thrown when someone is getting married, having a naming ceremony of a child, graduation from western education or graduation from being an apprentice of one trade, vocation or the other. It is even joked that when a child leaves the stage of crawling to walking, a party is thrown to celebrate this achievement.

Any way, in any such parties thrown, members of the family of the chief host organize and tax themselves to prepare food from their homes and bring to the venue of the party to serve guests and at the same time they turn out beautifully attired in same clothes and accessories.
Gradually, the trend started spreading to other tribes and new dimensions were being introduced to it whereby the chief host of a party mostly wedding parties can sell the aso-ebi materials herself to family members and friends.

The aso-ebi serves as a wealth creating strategy first to the celebrant and secondly to those versed and experienced in the art of tying the gele type of aso-ebi which is also the one popularly used by people throwing parties and of which I will be referring to in this piece.

For the celebrant a piece of this aso-ebi could be sold for a price ranging from N2,500 and above. Now in the market the same piece could be bought with about N1,500 – N2,000. What the celebrant now does is take the gain made from the sale to buy gift items for those attending her party in the case of wedding party and who bought the gele and also assist her in her expenses for the party. This saves her from budgeting for gifts for such people.

On the other hand, it also creates wealth for people who are experienced in the tying of the gele type of aso-ebi. This is because the process of tying gele aso-ebi can be frustrating and for those who don’t know how to do it, it could take hours to get the right style one desires. (So for those who only see the final gorgeous result, know that some hard work was involved!). A popular TV presenter who does it said she charges between N700 – N1000 to do it for people and they are only too glad to hand over the materials to her. So for about 30 persons spotting the aso-ebi, she makes between N21,000 – 30,000. All she does is to collect all the materials from those who bought and tie them ahead of the D-day.

On the part of those buying, they are often constrained into buying with the belief that the same circle of people including the present chief host will buy same from them at any time they too are hosting a party. And so they buy even at the expense of their pockets and more important financial needs and peace in the home (for ladies who are married) and. Let me illustrate with this story.

A popular columnist in one of the dailies told of a discussion that took place when he went out with his friends for a boys night out. While they were exchanging pleasantries and asking after each other’s family, one of the men groaned aloud “Someone should please save me from my wife”. According to this columnist, they were all surprised with that kind of outburst. On further enquiry, the man said his wife has been making his life miserable with this issue of aso-ebi.

You know there are some people who are party freaks and just cannot think of not attending one party or the other. The wife falls in such group. He is in constant dread of his wife mentioning the wedding of one cousin, friend or the other because it is an indirect notice to him to start preparing for the purchase of the aso-ebi to be used by her. Initially, he was buying these aso-ebi to make her happy since she is a full-time housewife but it has gotten to the extent that it was becoming increasingly difficult doing that any more along with carrying the burden of upkeep of the home moreso as he has seen that the wife has in her box about 25 pieces of assorted colours of gele.

When his friends heard this, they were outraged and of course told him to put his feet down in the matter. He said that he has done that a couple of time and for two weeks after, his life was a living hell as she never failed to tell him that he is a useless man who cannot take care of the needs of his wife and reminding him that when they too have any cause to host a party, those people she has bought such aso-ebis from will also buy from her.

That is the extent the acquisition of these aso-ebis can cause problems. I am someone who loves turning out beautifully attired with all the accessories in place (the gele inclusive) if I have a wedding party or any such occasion to attend but when I can’t seem to strike a balance between buying these wants (because that is what they are to me) and the more important financial needs in my life, I simply allow the economic concept of scale of preference to decide for me and of course the aso-ebi thing is foregone.

For example, in my office, many of my colleagues got married this year and every one of them came with her aso-ebi for sale, I bought a couple and the rest I politely turned down due to some other things needing my financial attention. They may or may not understand, maybe feeling that I let them down, but there is no way I can please them to displease myself. When my own day comes, you’re all welcome to come as you are and you will be richly blessed. So ladies, if you can afford it without putting some else in trouble over your bid to acquire that aso-ebi, go ahead and buy it but if you can’t, just be yourself and say no.