| Our intimacy started
on phone
By WALE BANJO and OLAKUNLE AKINJO
Tuesday,
August 5, 2008
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•Mr
and Mrs. Okonji
Photo: Sun News Publishing |
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For Pastor (Dr.) Patrick Okonji, meeting and knowing his
wife was by divine connection and design. Divine, because
Okonji was based in the United Kingdom (UK) while his wife
was in Nigeria. But love searched and found the twosome from
their different locations and brought them together. The dateline
was February, 2007.
Today, the relationship which began on phone, between Dr.
Okonji, president, Dr. Patrick Okonji Help Foundation, an
NGO, with affiliate in the United States (US) and his heart
throb, Nkinika, a graduate of Mass Communication from Federal
Polytechnic, Oko, Anambra. State, has culminated into a wedlock.
The two love birds spoke to Daily Sun in
their new home of their new found love few days after their
wedding which took place recently.
Husband
How I met my wife
Meeting my wife and knowing her was by divine intervention,
because I was based in Europe when our relationship started
and she was in Nigeria.
Her friend’s connection
In actual fact, my wife had gone to visit a friend of hers,
who happens to be someone I knew too, though without our knowledge.
So, while ‘our friend’ was seeing her off after
the visit, coincidentally I called from my base in Europe
and she told me that she was with a friend who had come to
visit her. At that point, I got curious, I wanted to know
who she was and I told ‘our friend’ of my interest
in meeting her visitor. It was from that moment that we started
talking on phone, hence I can say that I met my wife on telephone
because we actually started our relationship on the phone.
The attraction
When I eventually met her, I discovered that she is the kind
of person I had wanted to meet and have as a wife. She is
smart, talented and lovely. In fact, looking at her alone,
you will know that she is someone worth meeting.
Opposition from parents
There was no opposition from both sides. As for her parents,
they only tried to know my person and I gave them full explanation
of myself. There was no opposition from them because they
were satisfied with the details of my background.
First outing
Our first outing was an interesting one. We just went out
and had fun. It was an evening outing , we visited one of
the eateries around. The outing was brief because we were
still new to each other at that time, therefore we did not
stay long.
My wife and other ladies
Like you rightly said, there are many ladies out there, but
if the Lord leads you to your own, you will certainly know.
My wife is quite different from others I have met before her,
she is lovely and respectful. She is very attractive.
First move/response
I, certainly, made the first move and her response was positive,
though not immediate because she paused and thought over it.
She prayed for about five months before she finally gave her
consent.
Number of children
We have both agreed, God’s willing, to have four children.
Our parents cannot dictate the number of children we should
have, knowing that we are a family of our own.
Future plans
We expect that the future will be bright for us, especially
with the ministry and being a pastor myself. We pray that
the Lord will help us to succeed.
Expectation from my wife
My expectation from her is that she should be loyal, submissive,
though by God’s grace, I know she is. Also, I expect
her to be supportive in the ministry and join hands with me
to move the NGO forward.
Wife
I got to know my husband through a friend in February, 2007.
I had gone to visit this friend of mine, who happens to be
someone he also knows. Coincidentally, he called her while
I was with her and he was interested to know her visitor.
He later called my friend to ask her of my phone number and
my friend called to tell me. I told her to give him. It was
from that point that he started calling me.
For five months, we didn’t see because he was based
in the United Kingdom (UK) at that time. We were only communicating
on phone. I sent him my picture, he also sent his, so we were
doing this until June, 2007 when he finally came and we were
able to see face to face for the first time in our relationship.
Love at first sight
Ours was not love at first sight because we didn’t meet
until five months after we started our relationship. Ours
should rather be called ‘love on phone’ ( laughter).
As a matter of fact, I was a bit skeptical when he sent his
picture, because pictures can be deceptive.
How he proposed
Although he had been talking about marriage on phone but he
didn’t really come out to propose until we met face
to face. He actually proposed the second time we met after
he arrived from UK and that was the day I accepted to marry
him because there was no need wasting time again since I was
sure. Remember that before this time, I had been praying about
it myself. And I had the conviction within me. Another thing
is that there were some other people on the line, who were
serious minded people (Christians). But when we started talking
on phone, I discovered we had many things in common and that
made me to know that he was the person. There was also this
conviction I had about him that made me conclude in my mind
that he was the one meant for me.
Were you influenced because he was UK based?
No, not at all. I was not. That actually made me to be more
careful in my dealings with him. Some friends also warned
me about people from overseas because you cannot really place
them until you have had dealings with them. Many of our American
and UK based people could be very dubious when it comes to
marriage. At a point, I wanted to change my mind because speaking
on phone was not enough to guarantee a lifetime of living
together with someone you don’t know from Adam.
Attraction
Like some people will say that he is good looking, but that
was not it, though part of it. I have always had a desire
for someone who is good looking and at the same time God fearing,
and somehow I knew I was going to marry a pastor. His vision
somehow falls in line with mine. So all these put together,
I would say formed the focus of my attraction for him.
Are you not afraid of other women?
I am aware of the fact that in the course of his duty, he
will be dealing with a lot of women, but then, I am not afraid
of them taking him away from me because I trust him when it
comes to that. Trust, I think, should be the bedrock of any
relationship. It is good to trust your partner, if there is
no trust, then you are building on a shaky foundation.
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