A day with people living
with HIV/AIDS
By JOSSY DAM
Saturday,
September 23, 2006
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•Larah
and her kids.
•Photo: Sun News Publishing
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Baby Israel was born premature six weeks ago, by an unmarried
mother who is HIV positive. He was born when his mother was
only seven months pregnant. Going by a normal circle, Israel
should be about to be born now. He would be about eight months,
two weeks in his mother’s womb.
Tiny and dressed in sky blue clothes, baby Israel was only
four days old when harsh reality starred into his innocent
face. His biological mother wanted to dump him with her grandmother.
But her grandmother refused. Her reason is that she had previously
taken three of Israel mother’s children.
Israel is the woman’s fourth child. Born to a HIV positive
mother means Israel has to be raised without breast milk and
being born prematurely also means special care in a hospital
and home. The old woman simply told her grand daughter she
would not be able to cope with the financial burden of nursing
and raising a baby like Israel.
According to Israel’s foster mother, Mrs Marybeth Oyebode,
Israel’s grand mother said: “No more. I can’t
do it again. I love the baby but I can’t afford to take
good care of him.”
The baby was only four days old when a nurse in the hospital
where she was born came to Marybeth and told her of the baby’s
plight. She hurried to the hospital, only to discover that
the baby’s mother had gone her way. The baby’s
grand mother willingly and gladly handed him over to Marybeth.
Saturday Sun learnt that Israel was very
sick. Marybeth who willy-nilly became his foster mother spent
11 days in the hospital with him.
Since birth, the baby has been on Anti Retro viral drugs.
He has a good chance of not having HIV. He has even finished
taking them now. If there is any chance of HIV in his body
the drug will likely knock it off,” Marybeth said.
The Oyebodes have two children of theirs – all boys.
One of them, Toby named the baby, Israel. The absence of his
biological mother means no breast milk for him. The only food
that comes close to his natural mother’s breast is Nan
Baby Milk.
This, vitamins and a lot of love hugs, kisses and cuddling
are the essential things keeping him alive. And Marybeth does
nothing else except babysitting them.
Lovely Lilly
Lilly is a year-old-baby girl. No man accepted being responsible
for her pregnancy. Her mother’s family didn’t
want to have any thing to do with the pregnancy or the child
either. So, ever-smiling Lilly was abandoned at birth.
She came under the wings of Marybeth the very day she was
given birth to. “I’ve never met her mother. I
believe her mother may be 18 to 20 years old. Lilly was seen
early recently in Jos by Saturday Sun playing
in the Oyebodes’ living room with other children who
came calling. Bouncing, basking in a red gown and soft fluffy
shoes, Lilly goes about blabbing, tugging at Marybeth and
Bayo, and calling him “Baba”, “Baba”
in a sweet way.
Loopy knot
Not legally adopted by the Oyebodes, Israel and Lilly can’t
forever be fostered by them. The 2003 child Rights Act of
the country does not allow inter-state and international adoptions.
As it is, Nigerian families living outside the country can’t
even adopt them.
Lilly’s sunshine smile and her lovely ways readily melts
the heart and makes one want to adopt her into.
Rubbing it home
In a country plagued by teenage pregnancy, abandoned babies
and HIV/AIDS orphans, the question begging for an answer is:
how many of such kids will the Oyebodes of this country take
in, nurse to Continued from Page ?
life and foster? Marybeth is arguing that the act was perhaps
made without a full interpretation of the word “Adoption.”
“To adopt means to take a child completely in to your
home like your biological child. If you have two biological
children and two adopted ones, if you and your husband die,
everything you both have will be shared equally among them.
The law that I know, does not discriminate or differentiate
between biological and adopted children. It doesn’t
allow any child to be used as a slave or house help,”
she said.
Numbing shock
Wedding cards had been printed and dispatched with funfair
by her family. The tying of the nuptial knot was only two
days away when her church elders insisted that every intending
couple must go for HIV/AIDS test before wedding.
Without bothering, Nanwor Tonga headed for the recommended
clinic with her fiancé whom she was already calling
“my husband.” Their blood samples were quickly
collected and they went on putting finishing touches –
fixing on new apartment which they had rented – and
looking forward to moving in together and consummating the
union.
Devastation
Result of the test came out promptly. Nanwor’s husband
to be tested negative while she tested positive. At first,
she thought it was a huge joke coldly delivered by some wicked
persons to kill her joy. The couple lingered on. But the elders
of ECWA Church in Langtan, Plateau State refused to budge
on the very day the couple had excitedly expected.
War of nerves
Not minding her HIV status, her man took the situation in
his strides and told Nanwor to move in. She also really wanted
to damn the consequence and follow her heart. Both appeared
resolute in their misery. Their parents advised against such
union that was foreshadowed by doom.
Days, weeks later, reality dawned on them. They both saw signs
and gradually, painfully drifted apart. The man has remarried.
But 27-year-old Nanwor is trying to pick the bits and pieces
of her truncated life and dreams.
Rock bottom
She hit the rock bottom before bouncing back. Stigmatized
by relations and friends, she became ill and broken hearted.
She even relocated to Jos from her hometown, Langtan in order
to easily avail herself of Retro Viral drugs.
At a time, she had no money for her prescriptions anymore.
Another HIV patient told her about Mashiah Foundation. Emaciated
and too weak to even walk, an aunt of hers took her to the
place.
Fresh start
All these happened to Nanwor two years ago. She is the shop
manager of the Women of Hope shop. Those are HIV/AIDS widows,
who are not ashamed of their status any more. They go out
on the streets to sensitise the public on the dangers of living
sexually recklessly.
Looking back now, she smiled and told Saturday Sun
she wants to get married and raise a family “but the
man I am looking for, must be HIV positive like me. No room
for any man who’s negative,” she said, winking
mischievously.
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