Ezinne Felicia Mgbemena
goes home … 49 days after her husband
By her son, VINCENT ELECHUKWU MGBEMENA)
Friday, March 14, 2004
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| •Ezinne Felicia Mgbemena |
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Life indeed is a twist of ironies. We are either victims
or beneficiaries, but never victors. Victory in life is achieved
only in death. As humans, we are helpless before its grip
and lack the art to know what it holds for us. In life as
in death, the ultimate decider of entrances, roles and exits
is God. And who can question it?
Otherwise, how could I, a mere mortal, fully rationalise the
unkind paradox of today. Exactly 49 days ago at this place
and time, I stood before this familiar audience to deliver
the transition oration of my dear father, Akubueze Felix Okanume
Mgbemena, F.O.M. And much too soon, the hour is come for me
to do the same for my loving mother, Ezinne, Felicia Onugo
Mgbemena, F.O.M. I asked myself, do I have an option in this
matter? How do I manage the departure in quick succession
the very beings through whom I was begotten, raised and sustained.
Mama, you were not here when I took turn for my father, your
husband, but I stood firm for you. What I thought was a brave
defence of your physical absence did not comprehend your spiritual
presence, the unseen reality of an unbreakable union between
Okanume and Onugo.
How do I know dear mother, that as we dreaded telling you
of his ascension, you simply smiled at our ignorance. That
as we worried for your return to good health, you had already
chosen the silent hereafter. That the bliss of your spiritual
communications with daddy is superior to our smart physical
ideas. That, indeed, your lives are two destines made one,
which even in death cannot tolerate separation.
I did not know mother, but now I do.
Ezinnem, we are here in helpless obedience to bid you farewell
to your expectant husband, whose joy will now be complete
in the benevolent repose of the Almighty.
Ladies and gentlemen, the trauma of the swift ascension in
quick succession of both father and mother is real and deep.
Do I weep, and if I weep what do I lament? Do I sing and if
I sing, where cometh the lyrics? The matrimonial journey that
started in 1959 between Felix and Felicia and blessed with
nine wonderful children is today brought to an earthly close.
The epoch romance between Okanume and Onugo has gone divinely
triumphant. But their offspring of the Mgbemena pedigree are
here and will remain as their eternal legacy. Yes, we all
feel cheated that mother was taken from us too early, yet
we must learn to be grateful that she was there at all.
As I weep and lament, I see a window for praise and comfort.
My praise goes to God for the life you lived and the life
He gave us through you. Our comfort derives from you, our
dear sympathisers who as shareholders in our grief and burden
provides the cushion for our pain and loss. Your collective
dividends will be assured through prayers – Amen.
Once in a while, life even through unflattering twists avails
us an opportunity to reflect on the deeper meaning of our
being. When I was born and given the Igbo name ELECHUKWU (look
unto God) by my parents, it was simply normal and standard
tradition. At every turn of my childhood, my mother made me
bear that name as a cross and recite it as a personal anthem
– that whatever you hope for, whatever you do, whatever
you work for, whatever you get, and whatever happens to you
– look unto God – Elechukwu.
Now I appreciate the prophetic import of that ordinary name.
Being their first child, she had sought to prepare me even
from childhood for a day like this, having known her pattern
of departure and the inevitable void.
She is the depth of mother’s love and care. She is the
woman that Winton Churchill referred to when he said “there
is no finer investment for a community, than putting milk
into the mouth of babies.” My mother made good that
investment. I grew up on mother’s natural milk as did
eight others here. Even as adults, her milk of care never
ceased, and we never stopped desiring it. We are proud of
you, Mama. Ezinne, it was you that Prince Nicco Mbarga talked
about in his evergreen song – Sweet Mother – surely
mama, we no go forget the suffer you suffer for us, and the
love you shared.
You were a well known advocate of peace, justice, fairness
and equity who would greatly suffer deprivation to protect
the innocent. You lived a life devoted to the doctrine of
honesty, service to God and love to all. You built bridges
across peoples and communities, and was a beacon of moderation
in conflicts, domestic or external.
As a devout Christian, you spread warmth and friendship, and
stood out in your humility. For your virtue of character and
patience, you earned the crown of Ezinne from the Catholic
Women Organisation of this community. A noble crown to a virtuous
mother.
Mama, as you lay here motionless and speechless, in the golden
silence of death, I know that you are the victor. As we mourn
your departure, we celebrate the defeat of death. As the Holy
book said “death is swallowed up in victory. O death
where is thy sting. O grave, where is thy victory.”
Like all mortals who lived religiously and died righteously,
you are homebound for your rewards. We will all be there one
day. Life is a journey of recession. We mourn to celebrate.
You have lived and played your part.
We look up to God for His mercies on your continuous intercession.
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