She died in church while
praying for Nigeria
By YETUNDE OLADEINDE
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
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•Folashade
Fanoiki
Photo by Sun News Publishing |
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If there is one woman widows all over the country would not
forget it in hurry, then it is Folashade Fanoiki. The widow
died on April 22, 2006. It was about five months to her husband’s
tenth anniversary and she was 66 years old. The deceased trained
as a librarian at the North West Polytechnic, London. Thereafter,
she worked with the Lagos State Library for 22 years and retired
in 1990.
Six years after retirement, she lost her dear husband, Ayodele
Godwin Fanoiki. In her book, ‘Lonely But Not Alone,
Diary of a Widow,’ Fanoiki talked about some of her
experiences. She captured how she met and married her husband
as well as the happy moments they shared together. The loss
of her husband of 31 years and a warm relationship of a total
of 39 years.
"It came to me as the rudest shock and the most profound
experience of my 60 years. Those who knew us together for
the most part of the association thought I would never survive
the tribulation".
Fanoiki also recalled how she was afraid of herself initially.
"When the tragedy occurred, relations and friends were
around me day and night and they never left me on my own for
a few seconds in those early months.
“They probably thought I would try to commit suicide.
In order to escape their view and even their consolation several
times during that period, I would withdraw into the bathroom
and cry my eyes out".
It left a great vacuum in her heart. To make up for the gaps,
Fanoiki took up the assignment of being her sisters’
keeper. That led to her role as coordinator of Women of Grace,
the name of the association of widows that exists in all the
parishes of the Anglican Communion in the diocese of Lagos.
Apart from being a pressure group to change attitudes towards
obnoxious widowhood practices, it helps to bring these widows
together for mutual support of one another.
A visit to her Magodo, Isheri residence and you find many
who had come to tell tales of how she touched their lives.
Her cousin and close confidante, Mrs. Dayo Remi Giwa Osagie
has this to say about this rare gem: "An embodiment of
love and a caring minister who is heavenly ordained. Her love
for everyone was unique. She showed love to everybody who
came by her. In fact, everybody’s business was her business.
In addition, she served her God to the fullest. In fact, she
died doing what she loved best."
Interestingly, during her last moments, Fanoiki was busy serving
God. "She went round to see people and on the last day
she had a very tight schedule. Lastly, she went to Bishop
Adelakun Howells’ Memorial Church, for a vigil. While
she was leading one of the prayer sessions when she slumped
between around 3.30 am", Giwa Osagie informs.
Like Giwa Osagie, Engineer Dipo Oyewole, a family friend,
described her thus: "She touched every life she came
across. She was an epitome of love. A woman who served others
selflessly. I met her husband first and when he brought me
home she accepted me too. "
Tolu Laseinde also has this to say: "Cousin shade was
an enigma. She touched my life in different ways. I just cannot
believe that she is gone. Good people like her are rare to
find".
On his part, Kehinde Phillips, a nephew of the deceased recalls
how she touched his life as a young teenager.
"I came from the north then and I had so many aunties
and uncles. But you see, aunty Shade is the only one that
came by. She was always very engaging in advice. She was a
disciplinarian, yet you are always surprised with the way
she handled it with a smile".
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