Love, care, and acceptance are attributes and ingredients required to make being together a worthwhile. How often do these components show in our everyday life? Do we recharge our love batteries only during Christmas, New Year, Valentine, birthdays and all such other occasional periods while setting aside the other days for the devil to dance among the couples? Should the recharge of the love battery be one sided while the other wait and watch in disillusion.
Now, the word love when applied genuinely yields beautiful and attractive fruits. Love is likened to the mobile piece in our various hands for both men and women. When the batteries are fully charged; with sufficient amount of airtime, data and available network, the mobile piece serves out all its functions very well. But when the components that should equip the cellular phone are lacking, that piece of telecommunication gadget becomes dead on arrival. This is exactly the situation of most marriages and relationships. Because the batteries of love are not charged, then cat and dog relationship, envy, bitterness, acrimony and rancor become the order of the day. The result is that the opposite has taken the place of love and its components in various homes. But out of maturity, religion and traditional backdrop, some relationships are being managed with bold face, just hanging in there and because children are involved.
Interestingly, the message of ‘recharged love battery’ is here with us today and early enough in the year so we can beat our chest at the end of the year and say ‘yes I applied my recharged love battery and it worked for me.” It is heavenly for husband and wives who sincerely wish to retrace their lost steps to do so in order to enjoy their marital bliss. It is not late to search the black goat in the day time. Everything on the surface of the earth is redeemable except death.
Well, the greatest and very important aspect of recharging the love battery is ‘respect’ for each other. Again, as Africans who have their roots, beliefs and tradition; men and women who respect the ‘rules’ of the society do not necessarily get into trouble.
Biblically and traditionally, Africans put the man ahead of the woman, and that explains why men shout out the moment their respect is trampled upon. Respect is the number one love battery to be charged in homes. Yes, it is reciprocal and not forced on any party rather earned through attitude and conduct. It is the right of the man and the woman to be respected; but that of a man is paramount.
However, any way a party sees his or her partner is exactly how others will see the person, including family members. If couple respect themselves, others will admire them, but if they prove to be cheap bowl for the village spit, so will it be.
In the meantime, women readers might detest me at this point, but the truth must be told. How a woman sees her husband that is exactly how others will see him. Whatever message, good or bad, that is sent out from a couple against each other might represent him or her in a good light or otherwise; one of the reasons people should be careful in what they voice out against each other. A certain woman described her husband as ‘evil’ and that is exactly how her close friends see her man, making them to so treat him with disdain. Most women who have enjoyed lasting peace in marriage always point at respect as the prime factor in their relationship.
I have not forgotten my encounter with Chief Steady Arthur-Worrey (late) and his wife Chief Mrs. Funke Arthur-Worrey (92) at Muson Centre, Onikan many years ago. I caught a glimpse of this old loving couple at a corner sharing a bottle of drink, talking and laughing romantically. I sighted them from afar, watched and gave them some minutes and walked towards them to greet and meet them for the first time. Happy Mama Arthur-Worrey, a British-trained secretary in her gait flashed a smile at me and said, hello young lady, we smiled and exchanged pleasantries. She introduced herself… “I am Chief Mrs. Funke Arthur-Worrey with my husband of 47years, Chief Steady Arthur-Worrey.” I told her how I suspected and admired them as a couple. We agreed on a date for an interview and it was perfect. It was in that meeting that she revealed, “Respect, food and bedtimes’ are the key factors to a happy marriage. The moment a man knows his wife respects, serves his meals and addresses his bedtime well, the woman will remain a winner at all times. The man would definitely reciprocate in love, care, unity and togetherness”.
Be it as it may, it is also on record that the late Professor Dora Akunyili in her high offices cooked for her husband even as a boss to so many men. Giving a personal touch to a man’s meal is part of the respect discussed here. The likes of Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala are women who have broken the roof in achievement, yet, they see the need to live with their husbands with respect, peace, and harmony. Women who deny their husbands sexual pleasure might not be getting it right. So many women have closed up shops and allowed the men to wallow in their world. Back to Mama Arthur-Worrey’s encounter; when the interview script was turned in, I have not forgotten my pioneer Daily Editor, Mr Femi Adesina, in his gentle voice said; “Go back to Mama Arthur- Worrey and ask her if she is one of those women who use sex as a weapon to fight back when there is problem between them as a couple.” I almost had a heart attack. How would I be discussing sex with a woman that could be my grandmother? How? But my Editor’s assignment must be accomplished. I managed myself and threw that question to Mama, she said, “If your husband come back from the day’s work where he saw other younger beautiful girls and still find you very worthy in his bed, you should not resist him”…
Interestingly, most women do not know that men are like vegetables in their hands. When they are sure that their respect is intact, even you the woman will be shocked on the mileages you would record in your relationship.
Notable is that fact that it is not only women that need to recharge their love batteries. There are men who are terribly and badly behaved; some have sold their consciences to the devil and are willing to trade their wives in ritual commitment; men are quick to insult their wives’ parents at any little argument. Most women react when they see the hand writing on the wall. If you are a man whose accomplishment, love, care and goodwill is meant for the outside shores and not your home, respect will be very far from you. You will remain in cat and dog relationship. If you think your wife has grown old with wrinkles, very fat and slow in action, then you are fast to replace her physically and emotionally, your love battery is empty in your relationship. If you are the type that hide money from your wife and allow her suffer while paying bills, a day of reckoning is coming. Most married men are very single in soul and spirit and that has led women to all sorts of immoralities ranging from lesbianism, drugs, alcoholism and all sorts. If you are naturally wicked in spirit, know ye that you are not recharging your love battery because a time will come and power will change hand.
Dear men and women, recharge your love battery and reap the benefits spiritually, emotionally and otherwise.