The day you get married is the happiest day of your life. It’s the day you have spent the last few years dreaming about, and everything must go smoothly and perfectly just like you have dreamed it would. It is the day you will be gazing lovingly into the eyes of the love of your life while your heart is beating faster than it should. It is nothing short of bliss. Both of you are happy to have found each other.
But hard work lies ahead of you both to sustain your relationship. The thing is that marriage doesn’t come gift-wrapped. It comes in kit form, which means that you and your partner have to work at things. And you will find out as the years roll by that in a marriage, there are often just as many lows as there are highs. As much as couples would rather keep their marriage drama-free, the reality is that this is just not always possible.
However, there are several common mistakes married couples make which ensure that their marriage gets off to a bad start. The good news is that these pitfalls can easily be avoided.
Get your marriage off to an awesome start by avoiding these 10 mistakes:
Focusing on the wrong things
They say that there is no truer saying than life is what you make of it. But what does this phrase actually mean? It means different things to different people. If you focus on the bad stuff in life, your life will be negative. If you focus on the good stuff, your life will be much more positive.
It sounds so simple. Yet so many newly wed couples fall into the trap of getting annoyed by their partners’ failings. But instead of focusing on his penchant for lying in on a Sunday morning until noon or having a few beers after work when we want him home, why not focus on his good qualities a bit more?
Neglecting kind gestures
When you were dating, you both couldn’t stop showering each other with kindness. Don’t stop being kind to your partner because you have married them.
Insisting that you are always right
This is a big mistake that many couples make, and sometimes they prefer to be right than in love. Unfortunately, too many spouses are so insistent on being right that they compromise their marriage. A relationship is so much more than being right. Accept that mistakes happen. Accept that sometimes it’s okay not to be right – even if you are.
Getting too comfortable
Being comfortable with one another is perfect. But getting so comfortable that you stop putting in effort to make your relationship work is a bad thing.
Once you stop putting the effort into your relationship now that you are married, the fizz disappears. The excitement goes. Don’t get too comfortable. Keep things edgy and spontaneous.
Failing to talk about money matters
Your money is no longer just yours. You can no longer take a cavalier attitude to savings and spending. You must talk about your budget with your partner as soon as you guys tie the knot. Arguments about money are the most explosive types.
Refusing to give your partner their space
If you adopt a “we’re married now therefore you’re mine and you have to spend all your time with me” attitude you’re going to kill your marriage before it’s even started.
Sure, you now belong to one another. You share wedding rings, houses and maybe even bank accounts. But it doesn’t mean you have to do absolutely everything together.
It’s important that you still give your partner some space. Let air into the relationship by doing things independent of one another.
Expecting them to be just like you
We all take to marriage differently. Marriage is a big step in anyone’s life, and although you two are taking the step together, it doesn’t mean you’re going to think and act in exactly the same way.
Look, there will be disagreements about how to do things. Their habits and expectations of marriage will probably vary to yours. Don’t expect everything to be absolutely perfect and harmonious. If you do, you will only find it difficult to react when things don’t go your way.
Talk to each other about things. If you have concerns, raise them. But always listen to what they have to say.