We all must age, it is a blessing.Not to age is to be static. It is not realistic. Age defines many things in life. When you are born, your age begins to count. At a certain age, you start school, and the you proceed to graduate. Also at a certain age, you begin work and the retire. Every age-group offers it’s opportunities and challenges. That’s why we must make hay while the sun shines. Some of the problems you encounter in life have their roots in your failure to take your chance at certain seasons of your life, when your age placed you at an advantage.
This is the concluding part of last week’s article: `
In the same vein, products of most broken homes, if not fortunate to be raised by good parents, guardians or mentors, end up as college drop-outs, gangsters, drug addicts and criminals with bizarre behaviours, which accounts for ghoulish murders, cruel acts against defenseless victims and other vulnerable demographics. Many terrorist recruits and the most fearsome criminals are usually from poor family backgrounds.
Marital success is the core of the healthy advance of humanity and the preservation of world civilisation. That is why the devil is so committed to destroying marriages, which God ordained for our good. The family is the first nation into which a child is born. The family coalesces into a clan; clans form a community, communities constitute a nation. Nations are united to form our world. Marriage is the root of all these: This fact must not be lost on you, as you begin to search for a marriage partner. If you are married, try to preserve your union because of the implications of marital disintegration as aforesaid.
For those who are divorced, l have no hard words, but prayer that God should mend those broken hearts and make a way for reconciliation, because Jesus brought us the ministry of reconciliation. Where the hearts of the divorced do not yield to reconciliation, l leave such person in the hands of God. I will ask that His grace, not judgment, be upon them.
Marriage may make or break any individual, which is why they say behind any successful man there is a woman. But the woman must be good for the man to succeed. A good man is also the pillar behind a successful woman. It takes two to tango. If you are married to the right partner, the sky can’t limit you from reaching the moon.
However if you are unfortunate to marry the wrong person, even if you are on the moon, you will sooner than later come crashing down. Some people try to avoid getting married because of the inevitable challenges of the conjugal union. But it is better to marry than to be single and burn with lust, which, invariably leads to diverse sins. I know it, because I have experienced it both ways.
People in settled marriages achieve more because they are like birds which fly with two wings. A bad union dooms any couple at whatever stage in life. When couples forgive each other, their union will last, and their homes would be happy. A problem – free marriage is a great illusion. It cannot happen because of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden.
There is hardly any Bible character who had a pefect marriage, because any relationship of two people, including twins , as we see from the story of Jacob and Esau, is not perfect. Adam, Abraham, Jacob, Isaac, Eve, Solomon, David, Lot, you name it, didn’t have perfect marriages. Why then do you think yours should be perfect?
Even many of the ministry leaders of this generation have difficult marriages. God has a way of bringing His grace to bear on those people’s lives. So, they overcome and still achieve greatness. Katheryn Kuhlman, Maria Woodworth Ether and a host of them in the holiness movement did exploits for God, despite having difficult marriages. What matters is the ability to manage marital challenges and still succeed in your God-given mission.
Poor management of marital conflict could hamper progress. Divided we fall, united we stand. When two people are working together in agreement, they achieve great things. We have no record of the private lives of Priscilla and Aquila, but we know that they were co-labourers who did exploits in the mission field.
If a marriage goes bad, the entire home goes bad; children suffer, along with everything else. It becomes extremely difficult to achieve anything worthwhile. As earlier stated, broken homes produce broken children, who often become a problem to the larger society. Most criminals are products of broken homes, as a bad tree cannot produce good fruits. Only a good vine produces good wine.
It is safer to contract a marriage by godly standards. Christian matrimony is called holy because God ordained it. A God-fearing couple tends to live by sound Christian values. They dwell in unity and work toward bringing up godly children. They know that success in life for all the family members is a direct consequence of a good marriage.
When a family lives in strife, they tend to stagnate even if the couple does not divorce. A contentious marital union is as bad as a divorce, because they both hinder progress and prayers (2Pet. 3:7). The Spirit of God does not abide in an atmosphere of conflict. Unity is a sine qua non for the in-dwelling of the Holy Spirit in a marriage. I know no hate-filled union that produces progress in both spiritual and economic lives.
Therefore, beloved, this is the way I pause on this conversation: keep your family in unity and peace. Tolerate your spouse, knowing that true love covers sins and nobody is perfect. There’s still a lot to say about marriage. Let’s chew and digest this one for now.
Weekend Spice: The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials – Chinese proverb.
Ok folks, let’s do it again next Friday. Stay motivated.
• Ladi Ayodeji is an Author, Rights Activist, Pastor and Life coach. He can be reached on 09059243004 (sms & Whatsapp only)