APC now walks about with a burden, an Adam’s apple, that may distort its shape and function. APC, like men, shouldn’t experience the current problem
Usoro I. Usoro
Adam’s apple is causing a lot of “mess”. It remains a silent reminder of man’s vulnerability, foolishness and greed. And, I blame no other person than, well, Adam himself! You see, Adam, from Eden, was a confused and slow being, who pretended he was smart. He imagined he was a farmer, so he went round the garden doing nothing in particular. He talked to himself, pretending he was giving orders to the animals. Of course, those creatures didn’t even understand him. So, they clearly ignored him. But Adam had a sense of worth just wandering about. Then, he returned later to “lord it” over Eve.
Adam walked about with raised shoulder like a rugby player. He punched the air in mock show of strength. His “coconut” head swayed in pomposity as he gave ultimatum to every living creature, including one called Ngige, perhaps thinking he was leading a labour union. He lost no time in reminding all that he was the man! Yet, all the while, Eve was the silent schemer, smooth operator and, definitely in charge!
Well, Adam had frequent orgasms from merely thinking he was in charge of the “animal farm”. So, he spoke to all the “animals” like a tyrant. He threatened to sack a minister; impeach a senate president and reduce a speaker of the animals to a mere cleaner. Yet, despite his swagger and pretentious superiority, right under his nose, the snaky one – Mr Serpent – was “chopping” the forbidden fruits.
Eve’s eyes opened and shone earlier and faster. She knew good from evil long before Adam did. She could tell trouble from far. Just like Aisha Buhari foresaw trouble from the APC primaries through the window of “za oza room” – long before any Adam could. Only she was kind and not cunning like Eve – so she warned of the consequences.
Anyway, while Adam was doing show round the garden, Eve took over – where it mattered most. And conscious that God would come calling, she “donated” the apple to Adam and he ate it without reasoning. He’s the man, the headache, sorry, the head of the family, abi? So, let him answer for all. Midway into the “choppings”, Adam heard the rushing wind of God’s approach and panicked. Same way Oshiomhole panics at PDP’s scent. Anyway, in Adam’s jumpy move, he swallowed half of the apple and it got stuck in the throat. Today, I walk about with a “messed” throat-line like a greedy boa constrictor, after swallowing an antelope. From that day, Adam lost his voice. Even when God came calling, he was unusually quiet. And tried hiding behind his finger. That image flashed again recently, when Bishop Osadolor Ochei reminded the EFCC of his 2016 petition against Adams Oshiomhole. Suddenly, everywhere has been dead quiet – less boasts; no air-punching; no azonto! Except for a few minutes’ lamentation over an attempt by “some influential stakeholders” to mess up his “chair”.
Adam and his air of “I-too-know” messed us up a bit. He even messed up God’s instruction and creation; same way Osho messes up Aso god’s goodwill. Oshiomhole’s been accused of high handedness, dictatorship, outright disregard to party rules as well court orders in the course of the recently concluded APC primaries across the nation. In other words, he “messed up” in Zamfara, Imo, Rivers, Osun, Ogun, Adamawa, Niger, Delta, Taraba, etc. Imagine, a retired labour leader trying to teach an “old soja” how to be dictatorial? Now, Baba has ordered Oshiomhole to “clear the mess”. Now, let me see how he can flout a direct command from the god of “integrity”!
Adam’s “mess” seems to be smelling more in some states than others, as days go by. Take Edo and Imo States. Ask the women and youths in Imo, who barricaded the roads and marched through the streets chanting: “Oshiomhole should go back to his cocoon; we will not allow him destroy APC”. Ask the over 15 APC governors said to have signed up for Adams’ sack. Oh, ask Amosun, who accuses Tinubu, Osoba and Oshiomhole of fraud. He accused them of “hiding behind a finger” and going to Lagos to write fake results for supposed Ogun candidates – “ all a fraud”! In Edo, the crisis over substitution of names has led to the impeachment of the deputy speaker. And, ask Osita Okechukwu, too. APC now walks about with a burden, an Adam’s apple, that may distort its shape and function. APC, like men, shouldn’t experience the current problem, which shapes like Adam’s apple – but greed “messed” things up.
The problem with Adam is that he never accepts blame. When God insisted on a direct answer as to why he was hiding, Adam tried shifting blame. He forgot that God, as a logical Being, knew/knows why he gave man the will. With it comes responsibility and no passing the buck can change due recompense. So with Oshiomhole, who now blames “some influential stakeholders” of sponsoring his present predicament “in their respective states”. Adam ate his apple. And if it was unripe, he should endure the soared taste like a man. And if it makes his “mess” messier, he should clean it up calmly, before thunder descends from the Rock.
Oshiomhole and his party should stop trying to get undue sympathy from distraught Nigerians. We have endured enough wahala from Adam and his APC-apple. Any further noise from them is an assault to our ears. Imagine them raising our debt burden and blood pressure to $80 billion. Imagine a once boastful Fashola wasting N500 billion to give us darkness. Yet, he claimed pre-2015 that any serious government should surmount the power problem within six months. Now, they are planning to ban tokunbo vehicles without any functional assembly plant to take care of our vehicular needs. Imagine, APC has been defeating Boko Haram since 1820. In 2016, Boko was defeated – spiritually(?). In 2017, it was defeated technically. In 2018, PMB has promised to “defeat” Boko-something, again! Insecurity has become Adam’s apple! It gets fresh everyday, as long as Adams Oshiomhole and his APC remain.