Once in a while we need to give a boost to our relationships. As with an old car has been parked, you need to start it from time to time, let it run a little and then rev the engine to ensure that the battery is charged, oil flows and keeps the engine parts lubricated and functioning well, to avoid it stalling on the highway when you take drive in it. In the same way, your relationship needs a tune-up, and injection of excitement You have been in this relationship for too long and if you do not take some time to inject some excitement it is bound to stall and eventually die, flat-out! So, why not take these precautions and make sure the engine is pumped up and ready to go. Consider these tips to help you put some zest in it.
Give a time-out
You ought to realize that everyone needs some time to just breathe. In your relationship, your spouse, especially the female, needs an alone time every once in a while. Time alone from the kids; time alone from cooking, running errands and catering to all of your needs. I call this alone time mommy time. Please understand that it is a real need for her so that she can refuel by offering to handle those chores that she would normally do. Though she might not always show it, everyone gets overwhelmed at some point and needs a break. If she seems as though she needs a few minutes or hours alone, let her have it while you take care of the kids or the chores for a while.
Send a card
Some are blessed with the gift of garb and can eloquently express how you make them feel but not everyone is so gifted. Luckily, the Internet is full of sites offering electronic cards that express everything from “I love you” to “I’m sorry.” Take a couple of minutes to send your partner a personalized e-card to make him or her smile. Believe me those cards can be quite humourous; she will love what you have been meaning to say.
Do not be so predictable
You should try sometimes to be spontaneous. Rather than popping that Friday night chicken in the oven, take your partner out to the neighborhood diner. For the past five years, it has been “home from work at 6:00, dinner at 6:30, television at 8:00” and so on, but in this new season please make an effort to break the routine. Have that dinner at the diner and then rent a fun movie to watch together instead of just staring at the same old re-runs once again. Next week, try something new or just step out of your neighborhood to sample a different restaurant and then finish it up by walking to the movie theater. Both of you will thank each other for the long awaited romance that will follow.
Create your special holiday
Ok, I hope both of you like to celebrate. Come up with a date when you want to celebrate your ‘half-anniversary which is six months to the real date. Take that day off and do something romantic. If it falls on a weekend, indulge in a weekend getaway to a fun place away from home. You can also have a half-birthday and he can just start by sending you for facials and have the masseuse spoil you rotten. Don’t feel you have to wait until Valentine’s Day or a birthday to plan a unique, fun activity. Take time to invent your own holiday that celebrates your partnership.
Hold a hand
Ah, the power of holding hands. There is so much intimacy that comes from just holding your spouse’s hands as you both stroll along in the mall. Sometimes we get so comfortable in a relationship that we forget the simple things, like how nice it is really to hold hands, hug on the street, wink at a crowded restaurant while you wait for your table. All these gestures are exhilarating and should be done often. Don’t let time diminish your tendency to physically reaffirm your feelings to your partner. Take that hand out of the popcorn while watching a movie for a few minutes and show your special someone that you care.
Call just for nothing
So it is mid-day and you are beginning to feel sleepy at your desk. Pick up the phone and call and if he says, “What’s up babe? I am about to attend a meeting” Just say, “nothing babe, just felt like hearing your voice, see you later.” That guy will be thinking of you and your tender touch all through his meeting and will leave the office so fast to meet you.
Good luck in your relationships and stay healthy,
ν Dr. NJ