By Scholastica Onyeka, Makurdi

Jones Iorfa Atimejov, a civil servant with the Nigerian Prisons Service, is in agony. Words cannot describe his pains neither would it be enough to console him from the misfortune that has befallen him.

He married his first wife in 2010 and lost her to the cold hands of death in 2013, barely three years after. He was devastated with two children to cater for. But friends consoled and kept encouraging him.

In 2015, he married a second wife. According to him, she comforted him and made him forget completelywhat happened in his first marriage.

But seven years into the second marriage, death came calling again. Mrs Atimejov, who had given birth to twins earlier, died three hours after giving birth to triplets in Makurdi, the Benue State, capital.

It was indeed a black Saturday for the Atimejov family as the day that was meant to end in praise and joy to his family turned to a day of tears.

Going by his account, life will never remain the same with him again. Now, he is contending with burying his late wife and caring for his motherless triplets who are still at the intensive care unit of the Federal Medical Center (FMC), Makurdi.

At the FMC, where this reporter spoke with him, he sat outside the ward waiting for the usual calls to either buy drugs or bring one thing or another for the kids. Some of the friends, who visited to console him were seen in pensive mood with their hands folded across their chests.

Narrating his ordeal, Atimejov declared painfully: “I have a pathetic story. This is my second wife that is dead.”

According to him, the first one had hepatitis C. “I married her in 2001 and she died in August 2013. She had two children and as at the time she died, the boy was eight and the girl was six but today the boy is 18 and the girl is 16. I married this second one on March 14, 2015.

Recalling how he met his second wife in Makurdi on a Sunday, he said: “I used to visit one of my late friend’s wife. She usually asked me to bring the children so she would spend some time with them.

“So, on this fateful day, I went there on a Sunday and I saw her cooking. She looked so much like my first wife. So, when I set my eyes on her, I admired her and I asked my wife’s friend who she was and she told me she was her sister.

“At that time, all those who have been around me had been saying I should look for a wife and marry. So, she asked me if I wanted to marry her, I said no, not really. I wanted to also do my investigation. So, I went round and investigated and as an NKST member, I discovered that her father was pastor of the NKST.

“But before I would talk to her, it took me time because each time I came, it was either she had gone for weekend in Gboko or to church. But eventually, after some time, I met and spoke to her and that was how we started. And sincerely, since I married her, I forgot about what happened to me because to me she was Msurshima. She consoled me and I forgot completely what happened to my first stanza in life.

“We were living happily and she gave birth to twin boys in her first pregnancy, in July 2020. She gave birth through a caesarian session and it was successful. After eight months, we lost one of the twins. The other one is home and healthy.

“In February this year, she was sick and when we went for treatment the doctor said we should hold on and come back after two weeks. I was even grumbling that somebody is sick and they were saying come after two weeks. My wife was about 45 or 46 years old.

“So we went home and after some weeks, we went back and her confirmed pregnancy. I told my wife that I have six years to leave the service but I will allow the will of God to be done. I work with the Prisons Service.

“After four or five months, we discovered it was triplets and I went back to the doctor and asked him what to do. The doctor said there was no problem, that she was strong enough to handle it and that he would be monitoring her.

“She was going for her antenatal check and was being monitored. When her time was due, we went to the hospital on a Friday and we slept there. The doctor had advised that she shouldn’t go through labour. From the scanning, her due day was16th but we went on the eight. The doctor said there was no problem.

“The following day, they did the CS and brought out the triplets. It was successful. She came out. We were talking and I was even congratulating her, and as we were talking, she was the one that told me the sexes of the children – two boys and a girl and she is small. The doctor said it was because the boys squeezed her. The first boy weighed 2.3kg, the second one 2kg and the girl 1.8 kg.

” I told her that I will rush home and have a bath because the nurse was even saying she should relax and she shouldn’t be talking. I got home and it wasn’t up to 15 minutes, I was called back to come to the hospital. They also said that I shouldn’t come alone but that I should come with somebody that has blood group O.

“So I called my younger brother because on Thursday, my younger brother came to me and was looking for money to travel. I told him I have money but the problem is my wife will be operated on Saturday, so I just have money for that operation.

“My brother told me that anytime people are going for operation, they always need blood. He said his own is group O in case I would need. So, when they said that, I called him and he came immediately.

“I got to the hospital and I entered into the ward where she was admitted, her immediate elder sister who is a chief matron was around and she told me that since I left she was crying and complaining of fever and other things but that the doctor has controlled that aspect but the problem was that she was bleeding.

“So, I went in and checked her, went to the doctor and told him that my wife was bleeding. The doctor said he is aware and he has given her two pints of blood and that they have even controlled it.

“I saw something on her finger blinking and he said they are taking her vital signs. I told him I don’t understand what is vital signs but what I know is she is bleeding and can he please, come there. He told me he attached a doctor. Actually I saw one person and a nurse. He said they are monitoring so I should not worry.

“I left his office l and as I was just telling my wife’s sister what the doctor said, the nurse now ran out and went to the doctor’s office. I don’t know what she told the doctor and he came in, four of them. I heard them saying move her to the theatre, move her to the theatre.

“They then brought a consent form for me and I signed. So they took her to the theatre and as they were going, the doctor asked me to look for another person and add to the blood while they are using that one.

“I reached out to my friends and before I could tell my friends and they would start coming out, I heard a call again. Come back quick. Come back quick, be fast, they said. I rushed to the hospital and when I got there, I saw the four doctors outside. I went to the ward where she was staying, I checked the bed she wasn’t there. I followed and went to the theater, the first doctor came to me, I understand he was trying to talk to me. He was telling me a story that he was married from my place, was calling names but my mind was not there.

“The second doctor noticed I was not interested so he said I should come to the theater. On approaching the theater, I wanted to remove my shoes, they said no I should just come in. I went in to where I can see right inside the theatre.  Where I stood, I was watching her on the bed. So four of them now came together. I understand they were talking but sincerely for 15 minutes, I didn’t know what they were saying.

“I asked, why is it that the woman is not moving, her eyes not blinking and she is not even shaking? That was when the doctor said, sorry we lost her. I said lost her how? Somebody that just brought triplets in this world, not up to three hours and you are telling me we lost her.

“Looking at me, how do you think I would take care of these babies? Please, I will not take that. I was talking and shouting at the top of my voice, because I was even shaking. Two of them held me and said I should sit down. I said, no I must go to where she is lying. I went there and shook her but she didn’t respond. I cleaned her face, looked again but nothing. I asked the doctor, don’t you have solution to this problems? I was confused.

“Somebody that was talking to me a while ago and you are telling me she can’t talk, she is dead. I can’t take that but I have no option.

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“The way I was shaking, they rushed me inside and checked my BP but it was normal. So we arranged and took her to the mortuary. After that, the doctor showed me they removed her uterus. I said what is the need because it had no meaning to me any longer. I said if you know she will survive if you leave it, you would have allowed it to be there. But I signed the consent form so I don’t know what happened and I didn’t ask because it will anger me the more and I didn’t want to put myself into deeper problems because I know I have a challenge. I have three kids shat she left and the first one which is four. So if I go digging deep, I might collapse.

“As I speak, I don’t have any younger sister that will take care of them. It was my elder sister that came from the village and she is also sick. So on Monday, I told the doctor I want to relocate the kids

“The paediatric doctor said the children are okay, I should take them home but if they are okay where am I taking them to? There is nobody home. So, when he gave them to me, I brought them to this hospital.

“When we came here, they ran several tests on them. The consultant said because they are coming from another hospital they might be coming with some ailments. So they needed to be sure. Each of them was given four different types of tests. The first day, I spent N67,000 on the three of them. The second day I bought drugs worth N50,500. The third day I bought drugs of N16,800. I was just buying drugs until last week when someone assisted me and they are now on National Health Insurance Scheme (NHIS). But you know what national health insurance scheme in Nigeria is, any drug that is above N1000, they don’t have. They will tell you sorry, it’s not on the scheme and you have to buy outside.

“The place they are staying, we are charged N7,200 per day for the three of them at SCUBU. May be that is where I will smile.”

Atimejov appreciated some humanitarian activists, espcially Ukan Kurugh, who have assisted, saying: “On Monday, Ukan Kurugh called me that someone sent me N50,000 for the children. One Nancy Luper from Gboko gave N20,000, Concerned Friends where my wife works also gave me N20,000. My people from the village, called Mbayenge Elite Group also gave me N52,000 and my other friends have been helpful too.

“So putting all the monies together, I bought two cartons of pre-baby food for N82,000, I bought diaper for N18,000. They said I should buy a particular bottled water and I did. I bought gloves and other things they need at the hospital.”

He said he has been receiving support but noted that it has not been easy as the babies take a tin of the baby food in two days.

Atimejov is also faced with a bigger challenge. He said the hospital has told him that they have a certain weight which once the children attains it, they will be discharged. He is looking for an orphanage where he will keep the children for proper care, pending when they attain a certain age.

He said his mother-in-law, who should have been taking care of the babies, has been on admission since the beginning of year.

He said: “As I speak, she is still on the hospital bed. We are just shielding her from hearing it. We just told her that her daughter is on oxygen and she said she has never seen somebody survive that oxygen before. Mama is almost 90 and has been crying.

“So for now, I’m facing her case, the children and her mother and my daughter who has been asking to come home from school.

“But the grace I have is from God. I go to bed and surprisingly, I sleep. I’m also grateful to my friends who come around to keep me company and discuss with me because sitting alone will make me think and ask God questions. But it is very painful. Even one is difficult but now two. And at the end of the day, people will start stigmatizing you, as man whose wives die

But I think the grace of God is there for me. Sincerely, I have seen the grace of God on my life in this particular event but it’s not funny.”

He said since his wife died, he has faced one of his most difficult days in life in the hospital where the children are on admission.

Atimejov added: “As I sit here, I have forgotten that I have a body to bury. Things are difficult. All I have is going to ensure that the children survive and God is helping me.

Asked if that was her last pregnancy, the grieving husband said when he married her, it looked as if it was late. We just spent seven years and she’s 46. So I guess we married when she was 39. So we started immediately, went for an IVF and it failed after we spent over N1.2 million. After that we relaxed and the pregnancy came on its own.

In fact, we were not expecting and this second pregnancy too and I was not even ready. She was now pleading with me that the first twins she gave birth to, we lost one and sincerely we thought it will be one and nobody thought it will be three. So she was pleading with me that let this one have a brother or sister.

“So I agreed with her because sincerely, as I told you, she was my Msurshima, meaning comfort. She consoled me and there nothing I will deny her especially the joy that she really needed. Before I married her, I used to have BP but since I married her, I have not taken anything concerning the BP for seven years. Not even a headache. The thing just went off on its own.”

He expressed shock that the wife could just die like that after child birth, saying she had no form of complication during pregnancy. He noted that the late wife, who was a non academic staff at the Joseph Sarwuan Tarka University of Agriculture, Makurdi (JOSTUM), was healthy and was going to work after NASU called off its strike.

“She was healthy, climbing the stairs, coming down and doing her work. Even the doctor told me my wife was a very strong woman. In fact, she didn’t even complain of headache throughout the duration of the pregnancy.

“The only things she ever said was that she was feeling heavy down her stomach or pains but when we discovered it was triplets, doctor said it was normal because of the weight and then her legs were swollen, which the doctor also said was normal.

“That is why I was shocked. She did her antenatal very well, never missed once and had confidence in the doctor. He is a gynaecologist, not a learner. He did the first one and it was successful. This one is just the will of God,” the hapless widower said.

He described life without his wife as vague and hard. “I did metaphysics. So I discovered that when they are talking about reality and appearance, I just saw it. The day she died, I discovered that we are living in a dark world; with our two eyes open, we are still in a dark world. You never can tell what will happen to you the next second.

“When we were doing metaphysics which was purely abstract, we were just doing it then so that you pass your exam and graduate but that day, I saw metaphysics come to play and I said from that day, I have to be very careful.

“I have been careful. I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t smoke but after that day, I think I have to further strengthen my way of living. But how do you do it? When you think this is where you will get comfort, you are not getting it, where do you now get comfort?

“So, we that are a bit philosophically inclined, it’s not even a crime for us to ask questions and even begin to argue the existence of God when situations like this happen but you will now resign to fate because of the human nature.

“But given the opportunity, you will argue till tomorrow that if something is somewhere, this thing wouldn’t have happened because we are in a vague world. Going by the procedure of how one can make heaven, it is very difficult, only the grace of God can help you.”

He added that when his wife died, most people who were coming to his house were telling him all that his late wife had been doing for them and he was so amazed to hear such accolades from them.

“Most of the people that came to visit me after my wife died told me that my wife was paying their fees. I can’t describe life without her now. I became 50 years in February this year. Just look at me and imagine that this man now will have to take care of these children alone.

“I was not there when they were wheeling her to the theatre but I was told that she said to her younger sister, ‘don’t leave my children. Go and take care of my children’ and she told the big one who is a chief matron, ‘don’t come to the theatre. Stay here with the children’.

“So, I don’t know what she really meant by that. In fact, I don’t want to be hearing those things and that’s why when they are discussing her I just leave.

I was becoming very traumatized because anytime I entered the ward where and the children were and discovered she is not there, I will expect somebody to tell me she has gone to the toilet to ease herself or has gone to collect drugs. Now they say she is dead. That was why I moved the children from the hospital where they were born. It’s difficult for me. I will not wish this to happen to anybody. When it happened, people told me many stories pointing out other incidences like mine and some worse than mine. For them they were consoling me but God has consoled me already. I just trust God that I will be able to take care of this children.”