The increasing occurrence of abominable things in the general society and particularly in homes should leave no one in doubt that the world is now passing through perilous times as the Good Book foretold.
How else would you describe a situation where a father introduced his teenage son to homosexuality? Ordinarily, the home should be the safest place for both parents and their children. It should not be the place where a child would learn terrible things as if he was on the street.
My blood curdled when I heard the story of a 14-year-old SS-1 student in a mission school in one of the South West states, who was caught in homosexual act. In the course of interrogation, he revealed that it was his biological father that introduced him to homosexuality.
“My father is the one that introduced me to homosexuality, when he started fondling with my private part two years ago. In the night, he would encourage me to sleep with him. Innocently, I would be glad and jump into his bed. While sleeping, I would feel his hands caress my private area, but I was not sure what was happening to me; many times, he would hold me romantically as if I am a woman and I ignored it and felt it was the usual father-son-relationship. One fateful night, I felt a penetration of my anus area and screamed out loud. He held me close and said, ‘that is how to know real men and make fast wealth.’ He promised me all I needed and true to his words, he took me out the next morning and spoilt me silly with gifts and cash. And the game started out earnestly, whenever he wanted me, I would readily be available and willingly, it became our settlement style.”
Where was the wife of the man and mother of the boy when this evil practice was going on? On further interrogation, the teenager said his mother ran away when she discovered her husband was a homosexual and never knew the man would descend on his own son. This evil man turned his son into his homosexual partner. The boy also confessed that his father regularly brought his homosexual partners to ‘taste’ him being a young fresh lad with tight anus.
The shocking revelations made his interrogators shed tears. The father was invited for questioning, and he shamefully admitted to all the allegations and accusations shamefully, and could not look into the eyes of his fellow men. The school authority decided to separate father and son, but only God knows how their relationship would be in future. Then again, sexual abuse of daughters by their fathers has almost become commonplace. Fathers that do these evil things, do they deserve to be called fathers?
In other climes, what most parents do not understand is that their lifestyle and attitude is like passing the jot. The home should be the first school, where children are taught good morals and right conduct.
Consider the case of another father, Damian Okey from Owerri, the Imo State capital, who failed in discharging the real responsibility of father. He allegedly maltreated his wife to death in the presence of his young children. Now that the children are grown, they refuse to see eye-to-eye with their father because they saw what played out between him and their mother, when they were too young and could not do much to save the situation.
Chima, the first child expressed his feelings on the situation this: “I cannot forget the day my mother came back from the market and my father felt she wasted time. As punishment, he ordered her to kneel down, raise her two hands up. He picked up a cane to discipline her, just like what teachers do to primary school children. I saw my mother’s knees on the ground with tears rolling down her cheeks; I went to urge her to stand up, but when the lash of the cane hit my back I ran away. That memory is as fresh as if it just happened. Since my mother’s death and recalling all she went through, I have refused to set my eyes on my father because his attitude toward my mother registered in my mind so much. With that state of the mind, I do not know what might transpire if we stay close. He was not a modest man because I cannot count how many times my mother received slaps in a day. He did not see her as a wife, but a servant who served him including his sexual needs. What I saw of him is a case of sheer inhumanity as a husband.
Up in the North, Alkali, who reared cattle, developed an illness and was no longer active, his business also suffered. One of his wives, Aisha, was always on the move as she hawked items to make ends meet, and be able to support herself and her children. But the did her husband do? He got jealous and complained that she moved around so much. One fateful day, when Aisha came back, the husband asked her to lie down, which she respectfully did. Right before her children, Alkali chopped off her leg with a sharp long cutlass from her second joint, the thigh. Aisha and her children wailed uncontrollably, but some of those barbaric culture and tradition that holds women down especially from that part of the region several years ago are gradually fading away and becoming stories of the past. This was a case of a father being brutal to the same woman who bore him children and the children witnessed it.
In the spirit of the season, I want to ask: when fathers misbehave, do they realise that their bad conduct will affect the psyche of their children? When Jerry Maiya smoked weed in the presence of his children and told them that it was adult food, what message was he sending out to the children? Should he be a proud and worthy father?
It is to be noted that wrong things that fathers do against their children might not be physical alone. The emotional damage done to the children has much greater impact than physical injury. In this category is deliberate absence. Many will agree to the fact that some fathers are completely absent in the lives of their children. For such men, their assumption is that their mother had taught her children to hate their father. Please know that a child can notice a father who does not want to be involved in their lives. There are very little things that matter in life, not only feeding and having a shelter. When a child is asked about his or her welfare, academic performance, emotional balance and imbalance, his goals and fears, the encouragement, scolding and happy moments spent together, they all show signs of a concerned father, no matter how little. If the parents are either separated or divorced, such unfortunate situation should not stop the father from discharging his real and expected responsibilities to the children. Many fathers take out the anger of the situation, resentment and revenge on the children, without caring about the impact on the repercussion that may come later in life.
To this end, it is not enough to make a child because any man can make a child, but it takes a special man to help raise a child. Therefore, it takes selflessness, responsibility, reliability and being a role model to raise a child. Worthy of note is that a father is not defined as the man who makes the child, rather a man who extends his hands and time to help with the child’s raising and his heart to love through anything. Blood alone does not always make one a father, rather it comes from the heart. The Nwaorgu’s refused to argue before their children, because they felt they would teach them the negative vibes of life, and therefore keep cool before the children until they get into their bedroom thrash out the issues.
Dear fathers and men, not all fathers teach and lead their children into homosexuality, but there are those who do not care about their children upbringing out of carelessness, negligence and lack. Those fathers, who rejoice and celebrate when their sons and daughters become rich through dubious means instead of condemning them, please know that you have not discharged your real responsibility. Widowers who throw their children to their aged mothers in the village and then remarry, enjoying life as its full stretch and length, you are failing in your responsibility as a father. The death of the woman should affect both her husband and children.
