this is a clarion call to virtuous women in Nigeria. I actually took my time to bake this delicious piece for you and Nigerian men who want virtuous women, because it takes a man and a woman to have a marriage.
I understand that many Nigerian women irrespective of their religion want to be virtuous. I don’t know what traditionalists or Muslims call them but I understand that every married woman who is submissive to her husband is virtuous.
Before, I go deeper into today’s issue, please get this right. I am not against being submissive to one’s husband and neither am I against good marriages.
However, I am against manipulative and selfish men. I am against women who use marriage as a weapon. I am against physical and emotional abuse. I am against people who hide under the veil of religion, to commit atrocities in their marriages.
If you are submissive to your husband without being coerced, then I have no problem with you in as much as your husband loves you like he should. If your model of marriage is partnership and you are happy that way, then good for you.
However, people who use cultural sentiments to treat women badly can’t be my friends . People who counsel women to submit to all gibberish in marriages even when they know it’s killing will forever remain in my black book.
I understand that you can’t tell a woman to leave her marriage; she is the only one who knows when to do that.
However, she needs love and support when she is in an abusive marriage and not your foolish counsel and selfish cultural clauses. You don’t tell a man or woman to leave or stay in a bad marriage and you have no business manipulating her emotions too.
Moreover, there is this mentality that if a man is your husband, you should give him whatever he wants. In our society, husbands are gods and wives must worship them.
No wonder many of them get intoxicated with power and so many wives have to start battling with power drunk men who are now authoritarians in their homes.
They have been conditioned to absolute obedience or submission to their whims, oppression, intimidation and tyranny. They are the ones who will quickly flip through the pages of the Bible or Koran and quote passages if their wives dare to do contrary to their whims and caprices.
I cringe when I see such men and I wonder how they sleep with their wives after so much abuse. When daddy returns from work and he starts hooting his horn everyone scampers for safety, mummy rushes off to be her best and the children all are well seated looking prim and proper. The smiles and laughter go out of the window when alpha and omega daddy is home and gloom envelopes the home.
Please tell me, how do women stay in such unhappy marriages for so long? Do these couples hold hands? Do they kiss and smooch?
Let me get back on track on Nigerian virtuous women. You see, they have filled your heads with a whole lot of nonsense and I think we need to start purging you of dogma.
Dear virtuous woman whose husband has refused to pay school fees, house rent and other bills even when he can, you should know he prefers to play Betnaija and Baba ijebu instead. But you have been told to hand over your monthly salary to him. You know how irresponsible your husband is with cash and because your pastor says handing over your money to him will make you a virtuous woman you have since lost your sense of reasoning.
Please, why don’t you ask your pastor to give you a Bible passage to back that foolishness up? Your head has been buried in three days akamu, so you can’t think straight and challenge such lies. You prefer to go beg for money from your family members in order to feed your children.
Madam virtuous wife, you know your husband sleeps with everything in skirt and in fact last Easter when you traveled home, he didn’t spare your 14 year old niece. The old monster slept with her and he is still doing it to her. You know it and you have been praying for him and your pastor has even invited him for deliverance. Shame on you woman! Shame! Act now and go report him to the police. The deliverance and vigils won’t cure him, the only things that can cure him of this madness is when Constables Lucky and Friday torture him and lock him up with criminals. If you don’t hurry up, his daughter will be the next victim.
Oh! They have told you times without number that men will always cheat, because they have not been wired to sleep with a woman all through their lives. Mrs. Virtuous, I know you believe that but between God and man, you know the countless STDs you have treated. All your spiritual mummies have been telling you that they had similar experiences and that it doesn’t mean anything. They have told you never to reject his overtures when he comes near you again. You shouldn’t even use condom. Ha condom ke? Where did you get such unholy idea from? It must be from the pit of hell! Okay, I won’t say more, even when he contracts HIV please sleep with him. After all, he is your husband and he has paid your bride price, so you have to submit to him.
Please, don’t mind me. You know I love to teach women bad things, so continue living your lies. He is your husband and what God has joined together let no Bolatito put asunder.
Interestingly, we have perverts who hardly go to church or mosque manipulating their wives to take whatever humiliation meted out to them and these men even make references to holy books too. They love sexual coercion in marriages a lot and don’t even care how their wives feel afterwards.
A typical man who indulges in sexual coercion behaves this way and after he has eaten two bowls of Nwkobi and eight bottles of small stout, he comes home drunk and then he starts watching porn on his phone or laptop. He sees all the humiliating and disgusting sexual escapades of people high on drugs and then he calls mama Kenneth to practice all the moves for his pleasure. She lets him have his way, because she’s a virtuous woman and he even had anal sex with her until she tears up. She cries and wails while this is going on but all he cares about is his pleasure. When the beast achieves orgasm he accuses her of being ungrateful and swears that if she doesn’t quit complaining, he will go outside and get it elsewhere. Poor virtuous woman! She buries her head in shame, praying to God to wash her sins away. She doesn’t even have the courage to bargain with him. If I were her, I would have told him before you do that, let me insert my pestle into your anus and get orgasm first, then we can pick it up from there. Sick men!
I really understand you virtuous women but what I don’t get is the rivers of stupidity you are swimming in. You have a husband who beats you at the slightest provocation and he even has a horse whip that he uses anytime you are proving stubborn. But your spiritual mummies and daddies won’t let you know that your marriage is a mere farce. They have made you believe that beatings are not ordinary and not his fault because it’s a spiritual thing. It’s the fault of your village witches and they have charmed your husband. Chei! You are fighting spiritual warfare and all your dry fasting and ori oke sojourns can’t cure his madness. Well done, madam ultimate spiritual warrior! I am sure you are beginning to enjoy the wrestlemania series happening in your home. Stay there, if he kills you, you should know you were an accomplice.
Moreover, I won’t forget you my dear virtuous career wife, I understand too that he is your husband and he knows best. So, when he tells you to trash your dreams, just do it. Hurry! Go dump your two degrees into a LAWMA bin. After all, you are only good for cooking, cleaning and bearing children.
I can go on and on but let me stop here. If I had the time, I would have done a thorough bible study on submission and the Proverbs 30 woman. All those lies they have been peddling from our holy books to suit their manic egos should stop. Your wife is not a slave!
Treat your woman like a queen and she will treat you like a king!