So your man tells you he is not planning on having kids or getting married anytime soon as he is still sorting out his life.
He tells you he wants to get his second degree, a better job, a bigger house and a better car first. You sit there smiling with just a birth certificate or university paper thinking how ‘lucky’ a wife you will be?
With the little he has, you ask for Brazilian hair, recharge card, general upkeep allowance. He goes to work and straight to classes after work. He leaves you in your pyjamas in the morning and returns to find you in something like that when he comes back in the evening.
While he studies, you watch African Magic, Telemundo, Zee World and Keeping Up with the Kardashians etc on DSTV. He returns home to a clean house and his food served.
One of the serious conversations you ever have with that hardworking man is about the type of groceries you need at home or the amount of money you need to make your nails and hair.
The most likely advice you give him is “Babe, you need to buy a new pair of jeans and shirt; the ones you bought last time are torn or faded.” No intellectually provoking conversation whatsoever. No plans of making your own life better.
Yes you are pretty, no doubt about that. But so is every other girl passing. Don’t you realize that you are not doing anything a maid cannot do? What else do you have to offer your man except cooking and asking for money to buy the latest clothes and human hair?
When he is done studying, the first thing he will do is replace his maid because then he would be able to afford a maid and have a wife or serious girlfriend who has brains and puts it to use.
That’s when we are going to hear your infamous last words, “I was with him through thick and thin when he had nothing but now that he is successful he thinks I am nothing.” Truth is, yes, you are right. You have always been nothing but a maid to him.
My dear, empower yourself to be the woman a successful man wants to be with. Be a woman who would be able to sustain her home if anything happens to her man’s job or health.
By guest columnist Hennen Ahura
RE: THINGS NIGERIAN PASTORS SHOULD STOP DOING
You outlined major issues I have been shouting about. Ride on, move on and do not yield to any intimidation.
– Rev. Dr. Bola Lasisi, Lagos
The sex scandal rocking the world of Reverend fathers and married women, Reverend fathers and young girls is worst in Nigeria. It is because most people do not have the courage to come out openly and testify. People should understand that God relates with men individually. It is unscriptural to depend on men of God.
–From CJ
Thanks for your write-up, God bless you. May your pen never run dry!
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Amaka, what a fantastic diary! But would our crafty pastors and gullible, ignorant followers read this? However, I believe that these leeches parading as pastors would face God. Keep it up.
–E.K. Offonry
I want to thank you so much for the piece on pastors. It is revealing for those who care to understand. The activities of some so call men and women of God are overbearing today. Thank you.
–Prince Eweka, Benin
You won my heart with what you wrote to Nigerian Pastors. In fact, Karl Marx terms religion as the opium of the masses. The misuse of religion in Nigeria cannot be discussed in just a few pages. Thank you. Keep telling them.
–Peter Oga, UniAbuja
Thanks for your article ‘Things Nigerian Pastors should stop doing’. That is definitely the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Please keep it up.
–Ken
Amaka, I just read your article on pastors and wish to state that so many of them are called. The things that you don’t like about them, you should pray for them to change and not castigate them. I presume you are a Christian and the scriptures admonish us to respect elders. God bless you.
– Goddy
On that article what Nigerian pastors should stop doing, Amaka I keep saying that you are multi talented. If every Nigerian thinks and reasons the way you do regarding religion and religious activities, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Thanks, there’s none of your article that I do not benefit from. Thanks again and remain blessed.
– Ichie Kenneth Umeokolie
Madam, stop delving into spiritual things about God that you don’t know much. Shut up your mouth and look for other matter and write. Don’t earn the wrath of God on your generation. Shut up!
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Thanks Amaka for your very objective article on pastors. All the things you mentioned it’s just about ignorance on the side of the people, combined with poverty and illiteracy. We are taking advantage of each other to make wealth.
–Anthony, Delta State