THIS particular conspectus of errors is just to whet your appetite ahead of syntactic surgeries (a la Prof. Adidi Uyo of Unilag) next month! Most of the mistakes in the print and electronic media are the manifestations of carelessness, loose thinking and ignorance. We must be consistent in the use of either British or American English — mixing up both variants in any lexical environment shows slipshoddiness.
Also note that most media audiences are sticklers for purism. For those in this finicky and fastidious class, any egregious slip counts. Unfortunately, most people who commit these facile and schoolboy blunders are persons who should know but because incorrigibility has affected them they have become ignoramuses! Why, for instance, should some journalists describe themselves as ‘media practitioners’ instead of ‘media professionals’? Doctors and lawyers practise medicine and law, respectively, clearly unlike the fourth estate.
I am not a linguistic diagnostician, but I can perform lexical and structural surgeries and make efficacious pharmacological/therapeutic recommendations based on knowledgeable familiarity with infelicities (and some of their typologies) that border on grammar, logic and rhetoric, which I had referred to elsewhere in this column as the pillars of the English language — get them right and you are on course.
This work is a stop-gap exercise for quick resolution of daily grammatical challenges. From my own personal experiences and encounters with people, most exonormative language users prefer easy-to-read-and-follow summaries to usually massive, boring and complex theoretical methodicalness! This is hoping that I am not inadvertently encouraging intellectual slothfulness by this remedial quick-fix intervention! For starters, let’s proceed with the following tips of the iceberg:
“This is an affront on (to) our collective psyche.” (Facebook post, November 23)
News around the city: “Harvests of death (deaths) in Adamawa” ‘Death’ is both uncountable and countable. In this context of ‘harvest’, it cannot be non-count.
Pool resources together Pool resources
Majority of us A/the majority of us
Media practitioner Media professional
Counsels Counsel
Opportuned Opportune/Opportunity
Offsprings Offspring
Invest on something Invest in something
At a/the crossroad At a/the crossroads
In the continent On the continent
Junks Junk
Conspicuously absent Absent
Secret ballot Ballot
Test run (noun) (as verb) Test
Don’t pull my legs Don’t pull my leg
The faithfuls The faithful
Strike action Strike
Congratulations for Congratulations on/upon
Potentials Potential/Potentialities
Log of wood Log
Cutleries Cutlery
Stationeries Stationery
Beddings Bedding
Loots Loot
Luxurious bus Luxury bus
Repeat again Repeat
Vigilante group Vigilance group
Creditably well Creditably
Overaged player Overage player
An hotel A hotel
Point accusing finger Point the finger
Under the platform On the platform
Marching order Marching orders
Obituary announcement Obituary
Handwriting on the wall Writing on the wall
In Lagos Island On Lagos Island
In the premises On the premises
At the shores On the shores
Matured man Mature man
Double standards Double standard
With regards to With regard to
At the campus On the campus
All manners of All manner of
Pomp and pageantry Pomp and ceremony/
circumstance or just pomp
More grease to your More power to your
elbow elbow
Harassments Harassment
Heavy downpour Downpour
Rest in perfect peace Rest in peace
Government white paper White paper
Vandalisation Vandalism
On the saddle In the saddle
Deploy to Deploy in
Arrest over Arrest for
Commend over Commend for/on
Restore in Restore to
Restore back Restore
Converge in/at Converge on
At the outskirts On the outskirts
Return back Return
Reverse back Reverse
Unemployment problem Unemployment
Insecurity crisis Security crisis/insecurity
Luggages Luggage
Birds of the same feather Birds of a feather
A feather to his cap A feather in his cap
Riot Act The Riot Act
A slip of tongue A slip of the tongue
Hide and seek game Hide and seek
White elephant projects White elephants
Banters Banter
Night vigil Vigil
Wake-keep(ing) Wake
Alert on something Alert to something
All nooks and crannies Every nook and cranny
A living witness A witness
Oil bloc Oil block
Eye-service Lip-service
Fail woefully Fail abysmally
Running stomach Runny stomach
Outrightly Outright
Talkless of Much less/let alone
Yesteryears Yesteryear
Heydays Heyday
Grouse against/ Grouse about/with someone someone
Free-for-all fight Free for all
Discuss about something Discuss something
Equipments Equipment
Evidences Evidence
Protest over Protest about/against/at
Last respect Last respects
Raise an eyebrow Raise eyebrows
The poor masses The masses
Alright All right
Armed bandit Bandit
Last week Monday Last Monday or Monday, last week
On/off the generator Put on/off the generator
They love themselves They love each other
Very best Best
Clog in the wheel Cog in the wheel
Tale of woes Tale of woe
By the whiskers By a whisker
Neck-to-neck battle Neck-and-neck battle
Stand under the sun Stand in the sun
Invitees Guests
Witch-hunting Witch-hunt
Present status quo Status quo
A personnel Employee/worker/
staff member
At the corridors of power In the corridors of power
Fire outbreak Fire
Good riddance to bad rubbish Good riddance
Many cooks spoil Many cooks spoil the the soup broth
Money is the root The love of money is of all evils the root of all evils
Bite more than you Bite off more than can chew you can chew
Times like this A time like this/
Times like these
A force to reckon with A force to be reckoned with
Beer parlour Pub/public house/inn/bar (Nigerian English) (lounge or saloon)/hotel/tavern
A poser: why are these errors egregiously or routinely committed? Is it a function of ignorance, carelessness or sheer blatant mistakes? Could it be tactlessness arising from slothfulness? Should it all be attributed to the evolution of what has come to be known as “Nigerian English”? Who will graciously elucidate on these growing grammatical challenges? I am at my wit’s end!