Even when you really love someone, sometimes you fall into damaging patterns that become the habits that eat away at your relationship. Bad habits ruin relationships. Bad relationship habits can choke even true love.
Some of these unhealthy habits couples exhibit can sabotage their relationships. Relationships are what people make of them. When it comes to building lasting relationships, both parties should be on the same page, working in unity to improve their love lives.
Drop these 10 relationship habits to live happily ever after.
1. Keeping scores
Relationships aren’t a competition. One important thing to do to keep your relationship harmonious is to stop keeping score. Keeping scores will create tension for no reason.
2. Threatening to leave your relationship
It’s totally okay to dislike certain things about your partner and to have deal breakers that will end the relationship. But it is wrong to convert every flaw into a deal breaker to force your partner into changing it. You should never threaten to break up with your partner if you don’t really mean it. A breakup should be something you have seriously thought about. Bringing it up casually is emotional blackmail and unfair to the both of you.
3. Bringing up past fights
Once you fight and resolve issues with your partner, let it go. Fights are part of relationships. Bringing up past fights repeatedly is just salt in the wound and is counterproductive to moving on with the relationship. If you fight about a new topic, stick to that topic and resist the urge to bring up something that happened years ago.
4. Exhibiting passive-aggressive behaviour
Stop using a passive aggressive attitude to attract your partner’s attention. Stop being afraid of telling your partner what’s bothering you and speak up. Good communication is key to maintaining a happy relationship, and doing it passive-aggressively is not the way to go.
5. Agreeing on everything
You and your partner can’t agree on everything in life. No relationship is that perfect. You are never going to find someone who agrees with you on absolutely everything and even if you did, that relationship would be boring. Some conflict is inevitable, and that’s totally fine. So pick your battles and don’t let some disagreements ruin an otherwise happy relationship.
6. Having unrealistic expectations
Loving someone isn’t about moulding that person into your perfect partner – it’s about accepting that person flaws and all. But many people harbour unrealistic expectations from their partners. And when these expectations aren’t met, they become upset but can’t articulate why.
Couples should lower their expectations from one another. That doesn’t mean you should accept a partner who walks all over you. It mean that you need to evaluate if what you expect from your partner is achievable and take into account the fact that he or she is only human and will inevitably have flaws and make mistakes.
7. Reporting your partner to your family
Avoid sharing too much about your relationship with your loved ones. Strike a balance between your love for your partner and your love for your family. Constantly complaining about your partner casts him/her in a bad light and turns your loved ones against your relationship. Sharing things your partner meant to stay between the two of you is a breach of trust.
8. Constantly disappointing your partner
Trusting each other is one of the keys to a successful any relationship. The simplest way to build that trust is to follow through on your commitments. Couples should stop promising to do something then change their minds a few hours or days later.
You are allowed to change your mind sometimes when circumstances come up. But disappointing your partner too often will make them start having trouble trusting you. If you don’t want to do something and know it from the beginning, it’s better to just say no in the first place.
9. Discussing issues at the wrong time
Serious relationship discussions are inevitable whether you are deciding if you should move in together or talking about when to have a baby. But there is a time and a place for them, and it’s not at the end of a stressful workday. If you and your partner need to have a serious talk, make sure you time it well. You should both be relaxed and well-rested. Avoid discussing things when you are both stressed and tired.
10. Teasing your partner wrongly
Teasing can be flirty and cute to an extent. But take it too far that it becomes hurtful and demoralizing. Only tease your partner about things that are inconsequential. If he or she does something that actually bothers you, bring it up in a more serious context. Your annoyance might blend into the teasing so you just end up sounding mean.