Sweet tales of how 2 couples got twins; a boy and a girl, 21 years after waiting for a child
By CHIKA ABANOBI
The two set of twins, a boy and a girl each, born to two different couples, seem not to be too happy with you that you are chatting with their mums and dads, on how they got them, 21 years, respectively, after marriage, and yet you are not willing to listen to them tell their own side of the traumatic story.
Ok, we know what to do, they seemed to say: we will disturb you. We will not allow you to have the interview or chat with them. A child who would not allow his mother to sleep, so goes an Igbo adage, will not also sleep. But in a situation where an adult is the culprit, as in this case, what do you do? You kick. You cry. You disturb him, what else?
Introducing the sorrow and surprises of the couples
Let the babies kick and cry for as long as they can, you told yourself, their stories are better told by their parents, their daddies and mummies! For sure, the couples are not, by any means, related to each other. They are not from the same state, nor the same tribe. One is an Igbo from Imo State, the other, an Efik from Akwa Ibom State. This notwithstanding, in time past, they were united by the same grief, trauma, worry, anxiety and fear. But today they are united by the same joy and testimony, after going through a traumatic period of prolonged delay in childbearing.
Though it took them the same number of years, 21, to have their marital dream and expectation fulfilled, when the blessings came, they came in double folds: with twins made up of both sexes: a boy and a girl, in each case. Today, if they tell you that they feel like marking the end of their 21 years ordeals with a 21-gun salute, you should understand: never had blessings come couched in such enigma and surprise! And, for one set of the twins to arrive about a week to Christmas speak volumes of what the good Lord intended for their parents: God-sent ‘Xmas hampers’ wrapped in two sapling bodies of emotional relief and joy.
Traumatic experiences the Udohs passed through
Take the case of one of the couples: Mr. Anietie Udoh and his beautiful wife, Alice. From Akwa Ibom, and of Efik stock, they reportedly got married in 1996. But the traumatic experiences they passed through in the intervening period between that year and, this year, 2017, when their twins arrived to wipe away their tears, is better imagined than talked about.
After their wedding, they naturally expected to start having babies, they confessed, but that was not to be for the next five, ten, fifteen years and even beyond. “We did series of tests and discovered that there was a problem,” Alice said. “There was one they call womb-flushing, very, very painful for any woman who had passed through it. I did that two or three times, one of them in my husband’s company’s hospital, located at Lawanson, Surulere, Lagos (his husband, a former Shell oil worker, later voluntarily retired to set up a group of schools in Lagos). As the doctors worked on me, I was crying because of the excruciating pain”
Even at that, nothing much came out of the series of tests and treatments that they could hang their hope on. One day, a concerned relative, suggested that the couple visit a powerful Babalawo (native doctor) somewhere so that some sacrifices could be made for them to have a child but Alice would have none of that. “I told the person that Shedrack, Meshach and Abednego told Nebuchadnezzar, the Babylonian king, that their God whom they serve was able to deliver them,” she quipped. “But if perchance He refused to do so, they would still not be willing to bow down to the image of the idol he had made.”
Giving up and holding on to hope
If the comfort of the scriptures kept them going for some time, its grips on their soul, spirit and conscience began to slacken the moment years continue to roll by without any sign of baby anywhere in sight, in spite of medications and positive confessions.
“Somewhere along the line I lost hope,” Alice confessed. “There was a particular time that I thought about the delay-in-child-bearing challenge so much that I changed my pattern of praying. I told God that if it had been pre-determined that I would never have a child I could call my own, then let Him not allow me to live long so that I would not continue to see my shame. But when later I fell seriously sick after that, I started thinking that I hope it was not because of the prayers that I made. Afraid, I repented and started apologizing to God to pardon and have mercy on me if I had sinned against Him by the things that I said.
“Even though we were praying, at a point, I decided to forget all about having a baby in my lifetime. When it was 15 years, we decided to adopt our first baby christened Abigail. Although I had stopped praying to bear a child, oftentimes, I would overhear my husband praying on the same issue. I would ask him: are you still praying? He would say he would eventually have his own baby. I said, from whom? He said from me. I said okay o, but I have already removed my mind from that. There’s a young woman that used to be very close to me. Whenever I advised her on the need to follow the will of God in marriage, she would say, ‘leave me, alone, the people that did the will of God where are they today?’ Inwardly, it would occur to me that she was referring to me. Because of that, I stopped advising her.
“But one night, I woke up and began to cry and to say, “God, if You did it for others, why is my own still lingering?’ That night I wept bitterly. In fact, I left the bed and sat on the floor. I was just crying as if somebody beat me. (At this juncture, her baby boy, Promise, whom she was cuddling and who she fondly calls Baba, after looking at her intently, quizzically, made some sound that seemed to say: ‘So, you really passed through a lot of things before we came? Na waoh!’ Everyone in the room laughed). I told God to show me His mercy. When I cried to satisfaction, I lay down and slept.”
The tears and turning point
A Christian songster once sang that tears are a language that only God understands. That seemed to be what happened in the case of this couple. “I think it was after that month that I went to see my doctor and he said I was pregnant (That’s it, another sound from the baby boy seemed to say). I asked the doctor, are you sure? She said: ‘are you doubting me?’ As I asked again how sure she was, she ignored me, turned to my husband, and said: ‘Your wife is pregnant.’ Come to think of it, the woman’s name is Alice. So, when the doctor broke the good news, it was only natural that she should feel like Alice in the wonderland!
“We came back and I saw that it was true,” she said. “The pregnancy was not all that big because of my body’s shape. All the same, I tried to cover it. But fear was still in my heart. I was doubting and asking myself: can this be for real? In my dreams, I would often hear voices telling me that I would either deliver a blood clot or else have a stillbirth. Moreover, I was afraid as to whether I would be able to be delivered of them without going through a caesarian section because of my age. It was those fears and dreams that were making me afraid.
Fears and joy of safe delivery
“The thinking was so much that when the doctor told me I was due and I went to the bank to get some cash to buy a few things in preparation for the delivery, I filled a deposit, instead of withdrawal slip, and submitted to the cashier at the counter. Until the cashier drew my attention to that fact, I never knew. I asked her where the withdrawal slip is. She showed me the direction but I was about filling it when I remembered that I had a cheque book with me. And, even at that, when I finished filling the cheque I forgot to sign and submitted it like that. The lady called me and said, ‘Madam, you didn’t sign your cheque. What is happening to you?’ I said, I don’t know o. But inside me I knew what I was going through. What she didn’t know was that I was simply overwhelmed with thoughts of delivering the babies safely without any complication.
“Even when I went to deliver in the hospital, I went with my niece. She saw fear in me. But the doctors and nurses assured me that I would be able to deliver safely on my own without going under the knife. But I was afraid because the voice told me that even if I am able to deliver the babies, they won’t cry. Of course, once a child does not cry it means that child is not alive.(At this point, “Bobo” as his father fondly calls him let out a strident cry that seemed to say, ‘shame to the voice that was telling you all those lies’).
Alice continued: “In the labour room, when I had laboured for some minutes, I heard the cry of a baby. Inside me, I was saying, Thank You, God, the baby is alive. It turned out to be the baby girl. I pushed again, the second one came out and that was the boy. He cried even longer than the baby girl. I said this means my babies are alive and well. I was happy.”
Significance of the twins names and people’s reactions
And, that was how Mr. and Mrs. Udoh, who live in Egan, Igando, Lagos, got the twins they later christened Promise, Allen, Otu-Ekong (an Efik name which means Warrior), Oluwadamilare, Chukwuebuka and Praise, Ekom-Abasi (a name in Efik which means ‘Praise God’), Itunu, Nkem. For the boy’s English name, Allen, their father, Anietie, says he chose it more than 10 years ago when he read the story, in a book, God’s Generals, about one minister of God called A.A. Allen, who was a terror to the demons while he lived.
“Many people did not believe that she was the one who gave birth to these twins,” he said. “Many of them were saying that maybe we bought the babies because they had seen her some months before she was delivered of them but she did not look like somebody who was pregnant. It is because of that, on the day of their naming, many people came from many parts of Lagos and Nigeria – Ikorodu, Epe, Akwa Ibom, etc – to witness the occasion. I am sure that many who came did so in order to make sure that what they were hearing was not make-belief.
“My pastor from our hometown also came. He travelled all the way from Akwa Ibom. It is only natural that when something like this happens after 21 years of marriage, people will doubt. But we thank God for everything. Whatever people are saying does not move us. All these things are a clear proof of the mercies of the Lord and I have told Him that whatever happens I will serve Him.”
The Udochukwus’ painful experiences and story
As with the Udohs, so with the Udochukwus, Kelechi, fondly called Kayce by acquaintances and admirers, and his wife, Nkechikara, married to Kayce, from Mbaise, Imo State. The couple, members of Deeper Life Bible Church, as is the Udohs, was also married for 21 years before they could be blessed with twin babies. But throughout those years, they endured the trauma of waiting until God visited them and put a smile on their faces by giving them their first child, a beautiful baby girl called Blossom, Shammah, Chinonso (an Igbo name which means ‘God is Near). But for the next ten years after her birth, they were to experience what is known in medical circle as “secondary infertility.” On December 17, 2016, however, about a week before Christmas, the jinx was broken when the twins: Sharon Beulah Chimamaka (My God is Good), and Shalom Blissful Chibudom (God Is My Peace), arrived, kicking away their fears, sorrow and anxiety, like Shalom did on the day that Saturday Sun had a chat with her parents.
Talking about the experiences she passed through within those years, Nkechi, a business woman, who lives with her husband, who is also into business, at Medina Estate, Gbagada, Lagos, said: “It was not easy as a human being but we kept believing God and believing His word. In-laws would tell my husband, ‘why don’t you send your wife packing? She is not productive.’ Of course, I wasn’t happy but what could I do? Many times, when I am alone, I would be crying, talking to my God about the problem. Even till today I can remember, how one of them, on one occasion told my husband, to my face, that he should go look for another wife because she is not sure I can give birth to a baby. She said all sorts of hurtful words I would not want to repeat here. That was before I got my first baby. And, that was the only time I cried openly. I stood there and look up to heaven and said, ‘God, if after two years, I don’t have a baby, I will drop the Bible. I thank God. Before the two years ended my baby girl who is now in JSS 3, came.
Waiting for the twins
“After my first baby, I waited for another 10 years before these twins arrived. I said to myself that the God that did the first one is able to give us more children. God honoured Himself, and here we are today. I have learnt from all these to wait patiently on the Lord. With Him, delay is not denial. People have been praising God on my behalf, saying that He is good. They said it is good to be patient, to wait upon God. So, many of them that said bad things came confessing. After this set of twins were born, I was told by someone that one of my husband’s relations was asking whether I had the baby by myself or I bought them. They said until I was delivered of them, they never heard that I was pregnant. But the person is not living in Lagos, so how would she have known whether I was pregnant or not?
“I never used fertility drug but what we wanted to do was the IVF thing but when they said the chances are 50-50, we abandoned the idea because, apart from that, the cost was out of this world. From that point on, we never gave it a second thought. When I became pregnant with my first baby, I was thinking it was malaria because my mind was not on pregnancy any more. But when I got to the hospital they said it is pregnancy. I didn’t believe so I asked my husband to let us try another hospital. So, when we went to a bigger and better equipped hospital, paid and did the test and the result came out positive that was when I knew that I was pregnant. The person that said my husband should go and marry another wife called to apologise for what she said.
“My husband has been there for me. Whatever they said, my husband would say, ‘don’t worry, she is my wife. I married her and I am not complaining.’ I never for one day entertained the fear that, at some point, he might succumb to pressure and go and marry another woman. I married him as a Christian, so leaving me was out of it and I so much believe that anything about children is from God, not from man. That’s what he also believes.”
Surviving the delay and advice to childless couple
By way of confirmation, her husband, Kayce, said: “During the first waiting, someone said to me ‘10 years and nothing to show?’ During the second waiting, one of my relations said our continued relationship is dependent on my marrying another wife or adopting children. In fact, it is a bitter experience to pass through. I encouraged myself in the Lord and in His Word. That word reassured me that I will not be ashamed.”
Right, but was there any time in the course of all these that some thoughts crossed his mind as to begin to think of marrying another wife, as some of his relations suggested or getting children through another woman somewhere, you asked him. “Such thoughts are usually there,” he admitted, “but the Word of God has been my guide. If one hopes to make heaven, one should anchor his hope on the Word.”
This was before his wife, threw in some words of advice for some women in her kind of situation. “I will only advise them to keep on believing and trusting God because in a situation like this it is only He that can do it.”
Sharon, the baby girl among the twins, seemed not too happy with you that you are talking to her parents while you keep on ignoring her. Won’t you ask her to say something, to contribute to the discussion? She seemed to say. Or, do you think because she is babbling, she does not know what to say? At this juncture, she began to kick to show her displeasure. Do you blame her? If they are talking about you, about how you and your twin-brother arrived to bring joy to your daddy and mummy after a long period of waiting, duty demands that you should say something, abi?