How to handle an ungrateful child
BY KATE HALIM
It hurts to be a parent to an ungrateful child. Dealing with an ungrateful child is not easy, but it’s also a two-way street. Mothers need to work to help repair this situation before it is really too late.
It is a known fact that children love to push their parents’ limits by acting out sometimes, but it’s left for them to put their feet down as parents and raise their children well.
It’s important to give toddlers a lot of early warnings before transitions, like leaving a friend’s house. But sometimes parents forget that older kids need one too.
In curbing your child’s ungratefulness, feel their pain. Even if you make a deal in advance and remind your child of the limit, what should you do if he still pleads for more? Research shows that he will be more likely to be cooperative rather than confrontational, if you express empathy.
For example, before you say no, tell your child you understand his frustration. In other words, when your child spots a toy car and a shoe and insists he wants both of them, respond calmly.
Your empathy calms him and helps him get back into a rational, thinking state. Then you can remind him of the rule, which hopefully you established before you entered the store: “We agreed you could pick out one thing, right?”
Stand your ground. Sometimes, no matter how sympathetic you sound, your child won’t budge, because he wants to have his way. Maybe it’s time to leave a play date at a friend’s house and she starts to whine and beg, coming up with a myriad of reasons she needs more time there.
Go ahead and hear out your child’s arguments and explain your reasoning. If it becomes clear that your child is arguing just for the sake of arguing, put your foot down. That might mean saying that you are not going to talk about this anymore and walk away.
Do not reward your child’s negative behaviour. Say no and mean it and follow up with action, no matter how much you want to please your child. You are teaching them how to be content with what they have.
Set goals and once it is achieved, give a reasonable reward to your child. This way, you are not spoiling them with gifts. You are showing them that hard work is rewarded in life.
Do not show your frustration when your ungrateful child gets on your nerves. Instead, speak calmly and rationally so that they won’t mimic your behaviour and miss the lesson they are supposed to learn at that time.
Do not try to give your child everything he wants. Let him know that he can’t have everything he wants. There must be a limit set. you should realise it’s not too late to change this behaviour. Remain positive in such situations and do not try to buy your child’s love by over pampering them.