It is sad that today’s parents are less likely to teach their children about resiliency. In fact, it seems many parents are now unwittingly raising children who lack resiliency, or the capacity to recover quickly from disappointment or a difficult situation.
Without grit, children may fall apart or become immobilized in the face of tough circumstances, and not have the ability to swiftly bounce back to face the next task or challenge.
To overcome such deficits, parents must understand what they may be doing to contribute to this issue and how they can bolster resiliency.
First, here are some ways parents miss the mark:
They are too quick to intervene and fix things for their children
This gives theses children the impression that they are incapable of dealing with tough circumstances without parental assistance. Additionally, it deprives them of the opportunity to practice reacting to situations in a calm, effective manner.
They overreact to situations that upset children
This can make matters worse and make children more upset. It is better for parents and children to behave calmly in the face of adversity. Parents need to monitor their emotional reactions, since children model parents’ behavior.
They treat children like robots and overemphasize achievement
How can children get through the day if they are constantly worried about disappointing their parents by not getting perfect grades? Parents should put the emphasis on effort, learning and enjoyment, not perfection
Ways parents can bolster children’s resilience
If you want to raise a more resilient child – one who is more easily able to skip through the day without getting bogged down by disappointment and excessive emotionality? Here are some steps you can take to do just that:
Let your children handle difficult situations on their own
Allow them handle conflict with their peers by themselves. Let your younger children and teens repair their relationships on their own. You can certainly provide solutions with your children, but don’t attempt to make choices for them. When kids are able to make their own decisions, they have more autonomy. If the situation involves violence or any other type of harm then, of course, you must get involved.
Focus on how your children feel about life, not just their achievements
Ask them if they are having fun, and what they enjoyed about their day. Children often think that all their parents care about is how they perform, such as at school or in sports.
Allow your children to sit with their feelings
It is necessary for your children to feel different kinds of emotions. Don’t relieve them of emotional discomfort immediately. They should be able to handle frustration, a little bit of sadness and other uncomfortable emotions.
We learn from emotions. The act of dismissing them or soothing them too quickly may be counterproductive. In addition, all of life involves experiencing a variety of feelings, so children need practice in dealing with their feelings.
Being A Dad: Concerns fathers have about their children’s health
Parents have always worried about their children whether they are toddlers or teenagers. But as times change, so do these concerns.
These days, many fathers worry about their children’s health because of the rising cases of child obesity, drug abuse and smoking among teenagers.
Here are some concerns parents have:
It’s no surprise childhood obesity is the number one concern parents grapple with. That’s because obesity can create health problems for children today and also far into the future by putting them and young adults at risk for health problems such as diabetes, high cholesterol and even depression. Making sure children eat nutritional snacks and meals is one way to promote healthful eating.
If you are worried your child is being bullied, just ask him or her. There are times when children refuse to tell their parents they are being bullied at school but gladly tell their teachers or school counselors this important detail about their lives. Parents should connect with their children’s school to find out what its game plan is and how to stay involved. It is okay to run interference with this issue, because it’s pervasive and really hurtful.
Although the drugs children and teens abuse change over time, the level of public concern on drug abuse has not changed. Fathers should also be aware of who their children are hanging out with and know the signs of drug abuse. Warning signs include bloodshot eyes or pupils that are smaller or larger than usual, frequent nosebleeds and changes in appetite, sleep, weight or mood.
Aside from limiting computer use to public places in the home, fathers should keep cell phones off limits in children’s bedrooms. Gaming can also be dangerous when it spans long periods of time, isolating children from their families and hindering physical activity.
Child abuse and neglect
It’s one of the most challenging problems in our society when it comes to children’s well-being. It is a top concern because abuse and neglect can occur silently and out of view, and in some cases require a person-to-person intervention. It is necessary for fathers, families, neighborhoods and communities to be alert. Physical signs of child abuse include any injury, while behavioral signs range from nightmares, depression, bedwetting, attempts to run away, headaches, difficulty focusing in school and changes in weight.
Teenage pregnancy has always ranked as a major concern among parents. Fathers always worry about their teenage daughters falling into the wrong hands and having unprotected sex that might result in pregnancy. They warn their daughters to stay away from pre-marital sex as much as possible. It is also important for fathers to teach their daughters how to navigate the world of boys, dating and surging hormones.