Kate Halim
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD is a mental disorder that is typically diagnosed in childhood and can last well into adulthood. Symptoms include hyperactivity, impulsivity, and difficulty sitting still or paying attention.
ADHD is hard on families, but it is especially difficult for the child who has to cope with the condition. Simply put, their brains function differently and while medication can help to regulate the disorder in some instances, it’s not a cure-all.
Parenting a child with ADHD requires reliance on some behavior-modification techniques. Here are some practical ways to support and foster the development of a child with ADHD.
Keep their living space neat and organized
Children living with ADHD are easily distracted. To cut back on potential environmental distractions, strive to keep your home tidy and free from clutter. This way, your child will know exactly where things should go and they will be able to locate the things that they need with ease.
Stick to a daily and weekly schedule
Having a predictable schedule is beneficial to children with ADHD. The symptom of ADHD can often manifest as self-control issues, which is why it’s helpful to give them structure with external controls.
Praise positive behaviors often
Children with ADHD are aware of the challenges that they face and they cannot always control their behavior. They are scolded for their behavior often, which can be highly discouraging. To combat this, it’s helpful to acknowledge or praise them when you see them demonstrating positive behaviors especially if it’s in an area of struggle for them.
Make tasks more manageable
Tasks that seem simple to us can be overwhelming to a child with ADHD. To make things feel less daunting, break their tasks down into manageable steps. If possible, allow them to take shorts breaks between steps depending on the length of the task.
Reduce distractions
Completing tasks such as homework can be immensely challenging for children with ADHD. To minimize the opportunity for distraction, try cutting off TVs, radios, and cell phones during the hours you have set aside for homework completion.
Positively frame directions
When dealing with any child, it’s always more fruitful when you give them directions that tell them what to do as opposed to what not to do. This helps to keep interactions on the positive side and less punitive, which is especially important when you are dealing with a child who requires constant redirection.
Create a sleep-conducive environment
Some children with ADHD struggle to fall asleep at night. Some strategies to help them grapple with this issue include making their bedrooms completely dark — even if that means covering or unplugging appliances that glow, cutting out post-dinner screen time, bath time before bed, using earplugs and implementing relaxation practices such as breathing exercises, meditation or yoga before bed.
Encourage physical activity
Studies show that increased physical activity is linked to a decrease in the severity of ADHD symptoms and a boost in the cognitive functioning of children.
Being a dad: Why parents should stop public shaming of kids
Parenting isn’t easy, and many parents find themselves wondering what on earth they can do to encourage their kids to behave appropriately.
Public and Internet shaming isn’t the answer, however, and could even have the opposite effect as children become isolated and less trusting of their parents.
Here are some reasons why you shouldn’t publicly shame your kids:
It’s bullying. Most parents are dead against bullying at school because they know first-hand just how cruel those playground taunts can be and how much they can affect their child’s confidence. But for some children, bullying doesn’t happen during school hours. It happens at home. Shaming your children is a form of bullying.
Public shaming defines your child for life. Your child may have made a bad choice or done something unacceptable, but this isn’t who your child is. You know that while he or she may have done something you don’t like, it doesn’t mean your child is bad. They are just learning and we all make mistakes. It’s important that your child knows this.
If you publicly shame your child, especially if that post goes viral, then this will become something that defines your child. Friends, family members and total strangers will remember your child for that one mistake.
Your child should be able to trust you. You have probably made mistakes over the past few years, but luckily no one has shared this with strangers and neighbours.
Children mess up; it’s part of life. What’s important is what comes next. Your child needs to be able to trust you, to know that you love him or unconditionally, and know that they can come to you with any problem for help.
By shaming your child, you are burning that bridge. Your child simply isn’t going to seek you out for help, support and guidance again for fear or publicly humiliated.
Once the person who is supposed to love and nurture them the most breaks their trust, can you see how this might manifest in their future relationships with others? No child should grow up having to recover from their childhood.
It doesn’t teach a valuable lesson. When your child does something wrong, there is an opportunity to work together to find a solution. By handling the incident appropriately, you can teach your child a valuable lesson not only in how to problem solve, but also into why the behaviour was wrong in the first place.
By publicly shaming your child, you are not only skipping these lessons but you are also teaching a very bad one – that if someone doesn’t do what you want; it’s okay to bully and shame them for it.
It is bad for your child’s emotional health. Shame and guilt are two similar but very different emotions. Guilt is important because it reminds us of times we have made a bad choice, and encourages us to make better choices in the future.
Shame is pervasive. It doesn’t stay linked to one incident, it stretches and colours how children see themselves as individuals. Shame teaches children that they are bad, not that they did a bad thing.
Feelings of shame have been linked to depression and addiction, and encourage feelings of self-worthlessness.
