Kate Halim
Adolescence is a time when peer pressure may seem hardest to deal with. That’s because, in an attempt to fit in and get along with peers and friends, teenagers want to please. They don’t want to say no for fear of alienating themselves.
It’s important for fathers to understand that peer pressure may be pronounced or subtle. It is driven by a desire to feel normal, a need that is heightened during adolescence.
For this reason, fathers need to prepare their children to navigate teen culture. Armed with some strong skills, teens can learn to handle and overcome peer pressure.
The following strategies can help teenagers overcome peer pressure:
Teach them to have the confidence to walk away
Because teenagers want to be accepted by their peers, it can be hard to be the only one saying “no” when faced with peer pressure. Fathers must teach their teens to be confident in themselves.
They can do this through role modeling confidence and praising their wise choices. By doing so, their inner strength will help them stand firm with their feelings. A belief in themselves will help them do what they feel is right.
Teach them to set limits and say no
Teenagers don’t like to say no to their friends or peers. They worry that doing so could harm a good relationship. As a parent, you set safe limits for your teens. You must also help them understand that there are times when it’s all right for them to say no.
Taking illegal drugs, or driving with someone who has been drinking, are examples of times in which safety demands they say no. If they are being pressured by friends to smoke cigarettes they should say, “No thanks. I’m not into it. I feel sick from even just being around smoke.”
Teach them to ask questions and consider consequences
Asking questions out loud to a friend or a group of peers when in a tough situation may help win allies and take some of the pressure off. For example, if teens are being pressured to shoplift, teach them things they can ask their peers. “Who thought this was a good idea? Why do we want to do this? Won’t we get arrested if we get caught?” Hearing consequences said aloud can also get peers thinking and potentially changing their minds about the very thing they were pressuring others to do.
Teach them to talk to a trusted adult
If the peer pressure is still too much to handle, let your teenager know they don’t have to deal with it on their own. Remind them you are there for them. If they seemingly feel unable to come to you, for now, let them know it’s also okay to seek guidance from a trusted adult other than yourself. They can provide advice and help deal with pressure-filled situations.
Teach them coping strategies
It doesn’t take long for children to learn that life is full of choices. By the time children hit adolescence, they know making choices can bring a certain amount of pressure and stress.
Listening to their instincts, focusing on their strengths, talking through issues, and learning relaxation exercises, are all examples of different coping strategies that can help manage stress.
Teaching teens and modeling coping strategies will help them make healthier choices during the stressful and challenging situations that often come with peer pressure.
Being there for teens when they are faced with the challenges of peer pressure can make all the difference. Equipping them with communication strategies empowers them to make good decisions when faced with peer pressure.
Being a dad: Potty training: How to get the job done
Potty training is a big step for kids and their parents. The secret to its success is timing and patience.
Potty training success hinges on physical, developmental and behavioural milestones, not age. Many children show signs of being ready for potty training between ages 18 and 24 months.
However, others might not be ready until they are three years old. There’s no rush. If you start too early, it might take longer to train your child.
Ask yourselves these questions
Can your child walk to and sit on a potty? Can your child pull down his or her pants and pull them up again? Can your child stay dry for up to two hours? Can your child understand and follow basic directions? Can your child communicate when he or she needs to go?
If you answered mostly yes, your child might be ready. If you answered mostly no, you might want to wait — especially if your child is about to face a major change, such as a move or the arrival of a new sibling.
Let your child’s motivation, instead of your eagerness, lead the process. Try not to equate potty training success or difficulty with your child’s intelligence or stubbornness.
Also, keep in mind that accidents are inevitable and punishment has no role in the process. Plan toilet training for when you or a caregiver can devote the time and energy to be consistent on a daily basis for a few months.
Time to begin potty training
Decide which words you are going to use for your child’s bodily fluids. Avoid negative words, such as dirty or stinky.
Place a potty chair in the bathroom. Encourage your child to sit on the potty chair in clothes to start out. Make sure your child’s feet rest on the floor. Use simple, positive terms to talk about the toilet. Have your child flush the toilet.
Schedule potty breaks. Have your child sit on the potty chair or toilet without a diaper for a few minutes at two-hour intervals, as well as first thing in the morning and right after naps.
When you notice signs that your child might need to use the toilet such as squirming, squatting or holding the genital area, respond quickly. Help your child become familiar with these signals, stop what he or she is doing, and head to the toilet.
Praise your child for telling you when he or she has to go. Keep your child in loose, easy-to-remove clothing.
Explain hygiene. Teach girls to spread their legs and wipe carefully from front to back to prevent bringing germs from the rectum to the vagina or bladder. Make sure your child washes his or her hands afterward.
Ditch the diapers. After a couple of weeks of successful potty breaks and remaining dry during the day, your child might be ready to trade diapers for training pants or underwear. Celebrate the transition.
If your child resists using the potty chair or toilet or isn’t getting the hang of it within a few weeks, take a break. Chances are he or she isn’t ready yet. Pushing your child when he or she isn’t ready can lead to a frustrating power struggle. Try again in a few months.
