Get involved in father-son activities. Fathers and sons can have quality time by developing interests in same things.
Kate Halim
Father-son relationships can be complex. Fathers and sons with widely different interests can find it hard to relate to one another.
Sometimes dads and sons feel competitive against one another. Their male tendencies to not communicate feelings are compounded as both want a better father-son relationship but neither one quite knows how to go about it.
Many times, sons learn about being a man primarily by watching their fathers. A father’s influence on his son’s personal development is often unseen but is nonetheless very real.
As a young man watches his father interact with his mother, he learns about respect or disrespect, about how men and women interact and about how men should deal with conflict and differences.
As he watches his dad interact with other men, he will learn how men talk, how they relate with one another and how they deal with masculine issues.
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Understanding that a father’s influence on his son is unmatched will help dads think more deeply about their relationship with their sons and take that relationship seriously.
Get involved in father-son activities. Fathers and sons can have quality time by developing interests in same things. Fathers can spend time with their sons and their friends every week. These structured experiences create opportunities to grow closer.
Fathers need to listen to their sons. Men in general seem to struggle with effective communication. Fathers should listen to their sons without judgment and without trying to fix them. This will go a long way to building a lasting relationship.
Fathers should look for opportunities to be with their sons when they can just listen. Going to a sporting event, or playing football can be effective ways to create a listening environment.
Don’t be afraid of teaching your sons about sex and relationships. Being open to having these conversations will help your sons develop better attitudes about sex and girls in general.
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With the ever-increasing presence of sex in the media, on the computer and in conversations with their friends, don’t avoid talking about these difficult subjects with your sons. They may develop attitudes about sex and relationships from other sources who may not share your values.
Focus on the positives with your sons. They are bombarded with negative messages all around them. Fathers need to catch them doing things right and communicate their approval.
Fathers should create positive ways to celebrate their sons’ accomplishments. Feeding them constant reinforcement will help build relationships of trust and overcome the constant barrage of negativism that they confront daily.
Focusing on their sons, spending positive time together and talking about life lessons, will help fathers and sons develop nurturing and meaningful relationships and help sons form attitudes which will allow them to develop into good men.
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Being A Mom: What teenage girls should be taught about dating
Mothers of teenage daughters shouldn’t wait until it’s too late to offer their daughters dating advice. They need to think about their daughters’ dating in advance.
Dating can be challenging and it is important that mothers help their daughters understand the important concepts behind having a good dating experience. This way, they don’t miss the socializing aspects of dating.
Mothers need to teach their daughters to be confident in who they are. Starting the dating years with a good self-image and a level of personal confidence makes all the difference in the world.
Helping your daughter understand who she is and what she stands for is important during this time when insecurities can creep in. Mothers need to remind their daughters that they are always enough, and don’t have to do anything to fit in.
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Girls should set their own boundaries while dating. Deciding in advance the boundaries they will establish in dating is important. Mothers should help them think through boundary issues.
For example, how will she act when a young man raises his voice or otherwise demeans her in his presence? How will she react when a guy tries to get physical or make sexual overtures? What will she say when the guy is driving and doesn’t appear to respect her?
Guys that are worth dating will respect a girl that sets appropriate boundaries. Make sure that she knows things to allow or not. Let her know that you are just a text or a phone call away when she is out on a date.
Girls need to know that guys are not into drama. Despite the fact that teenage girls seem to be all about hidden messages and reading things into every nuance of a relationship with their friends, guys are not that wired.
If she has a rough patch while dating a guy or experiences some teenage jealousy, she needs to talk about it and then get over it. Bringing it up again and again only strains the relationship further.
Girls should know that dressing modestly is empowering. Help her understand that what she wears not only reflects on her, but is also an opportunity for self-empowerment. Being modest will allow her beauty shine from the inside out.
Although dressing fashionably can be fun, she should know that it shouldn’t be the primary reason a guy likes her. She should dress stylishly and set the appropriate stage for the right kind of dating relationship.
Girls should know that it is okay if they want to date and if they don’t. It is not every girl that is ready to date at a certain age.
Encouraging your daughter to have social experiences in groups can be a good precursor to dating. Moms can encourage these group hangouts by making their homes teen friendly.
Your daughter should not feel pressured by you, her friends or others to date before she thinks she is ready. You can help her have the confidence to say no when she wants and to say yes when she is prepared.
Make sure you communicate what is important and help your daughter feel confident and comfortable as she enters the world of dating. You can help her have a good experience and enjoy her teen dating years.