He is a respectable man. She is a married woman. He’s in a position of authority. She needed help. They met. They talked. Sparks started flying. Things got out of control. They had sex several times. They got carried away with lust. They didn’t care about hiding their affair.
Money was changing hands too. The woman was in love with him and was giving him money. She didn’t know that she was being played by a master of the game of deceit. He was just using sex to confuse her. He was after her money from the start.
Under the heat of passion, he persuaded her to invest in his work. He told her lovingly that what was his was hers, and she foolishly believed him. He drained her financially. He had access to her bank accounts and businesses running into millions. He milked her dry and dumped her. Today, she is begging him to give her a little out of her own money to keep body and soul together.
She lost everything. Her husband divorced her. She doesn’t have a roof over her head. Her business is no longer thriving. She foolishly left her investments in the hands of a con man who claims he’s a pastor. She built a massive church auditorium for him and he paid her back by swindling her. She went from seeking the blessing of the fruit of the womb to being penniless and lost because of her pastor.
I know someone who is trying so hard to get a pastor off her back. This pastor of a big church in Lagos has been singing sweet things into her ears for two years now. He claims he loves her and wants her to have a son for him. He says his wife who has four girls can’t give him a son, so he needs a woman who will give him a son to carry on his name when he finally departs this world.
This pastor wants this young lady to be exclusively his. He wants to rent her a beautiful apartment, buy her a car and get a driver for her. He said he would open a business for her and will be depositing a certain amount into her account monthly and all she has to do is agree to be his side chic and have a son for him.
There’s another woman who discovered that her pastor was nothing but a liar, a cheat and a swindler. He would call her husband and tell him terrible things about the wife. Husband would go back home and start fighting his wife. Wife would run to her pastor for advice and counselling. Pastor would fill her head with terrible stories about her husband too. Couple will continue fighting with each other without the knowledge that they are being played by the same man.
One day, pastor told wife that she should stop wasting time with her bad husband and be his mistress. Wife refused. Pastor ran off to tell husband that wife was having an affair and that’s why she has been misbehaving. Husband threw wife’s things out and told her family that their marriage was over. Wife cried and begged husband to listen to her but he refused.
Wife went back to pastor to plead with him to tell her husband the truth. Pastor told her that he would only do that if she agreed to be his mistress and have sex with him. What pastor didn’t know is that their conversation was being recorded. He kept telling the woman how terrible her husband was and that if she would just give him a chance, he would treat her better than the beast she married.
Woman told pastor that she would think about it and give him an answer in three days. Pastor was happy. His face lit up in excitement. He smiled at her, rubbed his palms together in anticipation and prayed for her to make the right decision. She left the church and sent her husband the recording. Husband listened to the recording and went crazy.
He called his wife back and they met somewhere. That was when he started telling her everything pastor told him about her and how he was collecting huge sums of money from him in the process of praying for his marriage. Wife also confessed to husband how pastor has been telling her terrible things about husband. She was also giving him money to pray for her turbulent marriage.
Husband and wife decided to set up pastor. Wife called pastor to say she has agreed to be his mistress and she can’t wait to have sex with him. Pastor praised the Lord for granting his wish to have sex with another man’s wife. They planned to meet somewhere but woman’s husband showed up there instead.
Pastor was shocked. He tried to wriggle out of the situation but he couldn’t dispute the evidence. He didn’t know that the woman recorded their conversations and saved his text messages. She also had pictures of his penis he sent her. That was how his game was discovered. Man begged his wife for forgiveness and wife also apologized to her husband. They are still together today.
Last week, Nigerian musician Timi Dakolo posted coded messages about a popular Abuja Pastor who has been sleeping with female church members and getting away with it. He insinuated that this pastor has been doing this for a long time but the victims have refused to speak out because they are afraid of what people will say.
Many people who commented on that post pointed fingers at one pastor who was mentioned in a young lady’s confession some years back. This lady claimed that she was having an affair with the pastor for a while and they even met abroad to have sex and enjoy some good times. When she dropped this confession, many Nigerians came for her. They called her Jezebel and agent of Satan for trying to destroy a man of God’s reputation.
Why do many Nigerians make excuses for these men of God who have sex with their female church members? Are these men not human beings first with flesh and blood and lustful desires? Does being men of God give them the right to do whatever they want because they know their flocks will support them? Are these men really preaching the gospel or preaching with their penises?
What will make a man of God sexually molest girls who are brought to him for prayers? How do these men pray and lift up holy hands before God after committing adultery and fornication with their church members? Why do many of these men swindle rich women? What is really going on in some churches these days?
Women, any pastor who tells you to have sex with him so that God can bless you with children is a fraud, expose him and run as fast as your legs can carry you. Any man of God who touches you inappropriately should receive thunderous slaps.
We should stop making excuses for these wolves in sheep’s clothing and start exposing them for who they truly are. These men need to stopped and dealt with so that they will stop destroying the lives of women and girls. If a man of God sexually molests a minor, he should be reported to the police and jailed.
If a man of God sexually exploits and swindles his female church member, she should report him to the police and have him pay for his crimes. This is not a ‘Touch not mine anointed’ matter, when the anointed commits a crime, he should do the time. Enough is enough!
Re: Red flags ladies shouldn’t ignore before marriage
You don’t fail to disappoint with your one-sided articles. Are you a women advocate or what? Why are you only concerned about what happens to women in relationships? What about men? Are they not important too? Why are you always on women’s side Kate? Why do you hate men so much? You should talk to men around you to tell you what they are going through at the hands of wicked and heartless women like you. It’s like you are on a mission to empower more women to be hateful like you. You must change for the better by force. -Uchenna, Aba
I appreciate you for always looking out for women who have been at the receiving end in many relationships and marriages for a long time. Thank you for taking all the insults and threats from egoistic men who think women should continue worshipping them while they do nothing to keep their relationships. I always look forward to reading from you. -Michelle, Abuja
Kate, go and marry and let’s see the perfect man that you will end up with. I still maintain that you have no business talking about marriage if you haven’t experienced what it is to be married. Stop teaching women how to be choosy otherwise they will end up as old maids in their fathers’ houses like you. -Ikenna, Onitsha
You have a fan in me. Anytime I read your column, I see a woman on a mission to educate people on how to build better relationships. I know that many of us don’t know how to treat our women because we were not taught but you are doing a good job through your writings. I have a great relationship with my wife today because of you. Thank you. -Telema, Lagos
I may not agree with everything you write because sometimes it seems like you write from a place of pains and anger, but I love the fact that you are consistent with your message. You shouldn’t forget the place of prayer in relationships. The devil doesn’t like people who have good relationships so he fights them. Men and women should learn how to lift one another up in prayers. If ladies avoid all the red flags you outlined in your last column, there would be many unmarried women around. They need to pray for these men to change. God can change anyone. Don’t forget that. -Deacon Tunde, Ekiti
Professor Kate, your column last week was very educative and beautifully written. I feel like proposing to you now because you will make a good wife for me. God bless you. -Chijioke Mmadu, Nnewi