Can you give us a brief insight into your backgrounds?
Husband: My name is Orgaly Ugochukwu Adeyemi. I hail from Item, Bende Local Government Area, Abia State.
Wife: I am Mojisola Orgaly nee Oyewole. I hail from Ijero-Ekiti in Ekiti State and I am married to an Igbo man. l came from a polygamous family. At a particular stage in my life l made up my mind not to marry because of my experiences in my own family until l gave my life to Christ. I didn’t only marry but l have been enjoying my marriage for 25 yrs.
How did you meet your spouse?
Husband: I met her in church, at The Redeemed Evangelical Mission (TREM), Akure, where l was the Resident Pastor in 1991. From the first day l saw her God told me that’s the woman He wants me to spend the rest of my life with and so l kept praying for the proper time to make it known to her and when the time came, l simply called her and said, go and get prepare because we are getting married in September” She didn’t say anything because it was an instruction which l knew was clearly from Jehovah.
Wife: I was a member of TREM, Akure branch, and he was my pastor then. He proposed in a very unusual way. He called me one evening and asked me to go and get prepared because we would be getting married in September. I just walked away because God had already hinted me while l was having all-night prayers months back. The encounter that night was heavy. l wouldn’t have resisted God’s voice.
What was your reaction?
Husband: I knew she would be my wife.
Wife: I just accepted because I believe that God was behind it.
You have been together for 25 years. How did you manage to hold the marriage institution this long?
Husband: For 25 years l can clearly tell you that it’s been God. As each day pass by l discover that we hold each other in inestimable value. Every fight she puts up with me is based on possessive value she has for me. All our actions are simply based on the Word of God. We’ve never sat before a counsellor to resolve our differences because the foundation of our union is Bible-based.
Wife: He just gave me an instruction, get prepared we are getting married in Sept 1993. l didn’t say yes or no. To tell you the truth, it’s been God all the way. We have our differences. Mind you we are from different backgrounds – a Yoruba lady married to an Igbo man, with different culture. We decided to adjust and l have never been so rigid, likewise himself. l fall in love with my husband on a daily basis. I see the good side of him every day. We have never slept over grudge. We make our mistakes. We decided to always learn from our mistakes and forge ahead. l love my husband deeply. l do not leverage on his negative frequencies.
What was the attraction?
Husband: She is simply elegant
Wife: It was his passion, dedication and commitment to the things of God. He sings very well and he is very brilliant as well.
What were some of the obstacles that you encountered, and how did you handle them?
Husband: We had series of hurdles but prayers and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit have been keys to handling those issues. Each time a major challenge arises we quickly remind ourselves of Ephesians 4:27 which says: “Neither give place to the devil”.
Wife: My husband is very choosy when it comes to food. You must get his consent before you prepare his food. I had to start changing fast. To get him to make his choice of food could be annoying at times. He can trust people to a fault. For me, l read people and, at times, when you are telling him to be careful, he doesn’t take you seriously until his fingers are burnt. He looks at things on the surface and that has landed us in some unpalatable experiences.
You must surely have individual differences due to your backgrounds. How have you been able to tackle the blending process?
Husband: I grew up in the West and so it was easy for me to adapt to Yoruba culture and by adoption l am a prince. That’s why the name Adeyemi.
Wife: We were willing to adjust fast; we were very flexible, ready to learn from each other and made adjustment when necessary. I can cook Igbo soups very well. Not just cooking, l eat Igbo delicacies as well, while my husband eats ewedu, gbegiri, and amala. My husband is more Yoruba than l am while l am more Igbo than he is. My Igbo name is Chinyere while his Yoruba name is Adeyemi. l love his tribe while he loves mine as well.
Husband: Maturity is key. Marriage is for adults not children.
Wife: Twenty-five reasons I am still married to him, 25 years I am still counting because we understand marriage as an institution. No one is perfect. Marriage is a union of two imperfect people. Always admit your fault and be ready to apologise and make amends. Don’t be selfish; be selfless. Wives should be great helpers in the homes. That’s our God-ordained role in the home. Satisfy your husband in every area. Satisfy him in bed. Look good. Dress well. Be neat. Be a great cook. Be a good homemaker. Do not be too lazy; work hard. Do not think that his money is for you only, let yours too be for all. Be a wonderful companion, to mention but a few
Most homes are bedeviled with violence rather than dialogue. What is responsible for the moral decadence in homes?
Husband: A lot is responsible for the moral decadence in our homes today due to wrong values and misplacement of priority. The home needs to return to God. There is a Godly value instituted in the home that we must go back to the word of God if we truly want to encounter true peace in our homes.
Wife: Determination is the key. Every home that is broken today has the same issues with the ones that are standing. Examine the foundation of such homes. When the foundation is destroyed what can the righteous do?
Technology has been a weapon of distraction and chaos in most homes. How do we curb abrasive mobile phones usage bedevilling family quality time?
Husband: Most families have allowed the mobile technology to be a distraction to their homes. They no longer allow their spouses to enjoy the friendship time together. What they do is to keep their ears glued to their phones or eyes glued to television sets. This needs to be addressed. The family time should not be compromised. Build friendship in marital homes, that is very vital because it would help to ward off the storm.
Wife: Every home must have their core values, rules and regulations. Do’s and don’t. Carry every member of the family along including the children. Expose them to the things of God at an early stage of their lives.
How can the family raise godly children, especially kids of clergymen whom the devil is aimed at destroying?
Husband: Proverbs 22:6 is key. There are habits we must enforce on our children, like prayers, good understanding of the word of God and atmosphere of free expression of their mind of which we can point to them the good to hold on to and the evil to vehemently reject. Family altar must stand strong.
Wife: There should be divine order in the home. Every home should have its character shaped in the word. When any spouse is dealing with a particular spouse they should support each other with wisdom and there should be a boundary so a child is not over disciplined or under disciplined. The whip is an instrument of correction; it should not be used maliciously.
Can you share some of the recipe for sustaining marital bliss, using your lives as a practical step?
Husband: Couples should be ready to work out their marriage. The relationship must have sound communication, they should be ready to forgive and erase offences, some keep records of the wrongs of their spouses. We accepted each other and were ready to address things as friends.
Wife: Commitment, love, friendship, forgiveness, tolerance are some of the recipes to enjoying marital bliss. My husband and I allow God’s grace to handle every challenge as it comes. We have been able to sustain it, using the word of God. God’s word is the recipe to marital bliss. No one is perfect. Marriage is a union of two imperfect people. Always admit your fault and be ready to apologise and make amends.