Ayo Oyoze Baje
I want to be the greatest inventor of all Time! Do not laugh at me yet. You have your dreams. I have mine. I know Man for who he is. Give it to him – for, in his creative ingenuity, he has achieved commendable feats, in virtually all spheres of human endeavour. He has defied the compelling force of gravity, gone to space and landed man on the Moon. He has invented cars, aero planes and ships which transport people and goods, providing services, to shorten Distance and Time. He is currently planning to make man head to Mars! If in doubt read the policy speech made by former President Barack Obama at Kennedy Space Center on April 15, 2010.
Name them – the radio, television, computers, artificial intelligence and the internet of things – are all products of his fecund imagination which cumulatively have facilitated the knowledge economy that drives smart products and processes; to turn our world into a global village.
He has also cured many debilitating diseases and is gearing to tame the rampaging scourge of cancer and Aids. What more, he has done the seemingly unthinkable, by cloning a mammal (Dolly, the sheep), and thereby creating an organism out of a body cell without recourse to sexual intercourse. Now, he has gone ahead to perform another fascinating feat, creating the genome. That is the human map, which provides a better understanding on the nature of diseases and on the long run would assist man to live longer, here on Planet Earth.
But no man has been able to discover, innovate or invent a chemical capable of removing Fears, Doubts, Greed, Avarice, Laziness, Lust, Lies and of course, the king of all vices, HATRED from the human mind. That is precisely what I have set out to do. Oh yes, I want to be the first scientist to create that elixir; that all-important, all-conquering chemical to completely eradicate evil from man’s psyche. Call it a tall order, I do not care a hoot, for so were other inventors similarly disparaged.
For instance, an engineer simply called Mr. Head tried 47 times before he succeeded in making the first metal ski. Dr. Ian Wilmot tried 277 times before producing the aforementioned Dolly. What would have happened if he had stopped at the 276th trial? The Wright Brothers were told to forget the crazy idea of building an aeroplane. Edward Land was urged by his friends to jettison the inspiration of an instant polaroid camera, that it would not work. Soichiro Honda was similarly nearly discouraged by his associates to do away with the ‘stupid idea’ of producing a motorcycle.
But all of them never listened to their advisers but to that unfailing inner voice that kept urging them on, until their dreams saw the light of day. Someday mine will also come to fruition.
Believe me, mine is going to be a gas-invisible, odourless and harmless. I am not talking about the laughing gas that lasts only for a few minutes. No! Mine would be so fluid that it can reach all the parts of the world in a jiffy and engender interracial harmony. In fact, if I had come here early enough my gas would have saved the world 40 million lives wasted during the First World War that escalated to over 70 million during the Second World War. It would also have saved the world $208 billion wasted on the World War 1 that escalated to $4.1 trillion during the World War 11.
Combined with trillions of dollars also spent on the war on terror, such humongous amounts would have been diverted to the battle against poverty, hunger and several diseases. But now I am here. So, I will start by injecting it from nowhere else but right there in Abuja, where the crop of our politicians, policy makers and those who hold our collective destiny, reside.
One hopes and fervently too, that by the time they inhale my gas they would suddenly learn from the hands of history that evil does not pay. That the most terrible dictators ever such as King Herod (Israel), Sheikh Hasina ( Bangladesh), Adolf Hitler(Germany), Joseph Stalin(USSR), Kim Jong-il (North Korea), Vlad III, the Impaler (Wallachia), Pol Pot (Cambodia), Bashir al-Assad(Syria) and Idi Dada Amin( Uganda) who were the Kings of Hate are forever consigned only to the dustbins of history.
They would also come to the grim realization that the things they treasure so much here on earth, such as mesmerizing money, puerile political power and fleeting fame are nothing but foods for the ants!
In the persistent pursuit of Happiness, Man has tried food, alcohol, sex, music and religion but none has the profound effect of eradicating evil from man’s mindset. But mine will. Most of our leaders – living or dead – are or have been either Muslims or Christians. They and their followers troop to mosques and churches on daily basis, surreptitiously to worship God. Yet, crimes of heinous nature are traceable to them. They come out of those places of worship only to use religion as a mask! All in their bid to get into positions of political authority or hang unto them they hatch, contrive or contort sundry evils against their fellow men. Indeed, the questions are many.
For instance, who sleeps with animals, mad women, commit homosexualism, eat human flesh or swear to hideous blood-soaked oaths at the dead of night all because of political power? Who arms the rudderless youths with bullets and bombs, cajole and coerce them with money to maim and kill innocent souls? Who are those behind the spates of armed robberies, killer herdsmen, armed bandits, ritualists, kidnappings and hostage taking? These worshippers are the culprits. And who are those who have stolen the nation dry and elevated themselves to the positions of perpetual kingmakers, to be feared and worshipped? These worshippers, of course.
But my chemical would solve all these vices, because in the absence of hatred, anger, greed, lust and lies people would no longer love to commit evil of any kind, go to worship centres to ask for forgiveness of sins only to come back to commit more blue murders. If religion, as it is currently practiced, was the answer to our plethora of woes, pastors, preachers or prophets would not so much commercialize it into prosperity services while they hypnotize millions of worshippers who now see them as their Jesus the Christ!
Similarly, food and alcohol have deadened the senses of the rich and famous that they can no longer heed the cries of the hungry and homeless. As for modern music, it is nothing but a vile vehicle to indoctrinate the aimless youths to dance to the dictates of the devil and his demons.
But my chemical gas will save them all; waken their senses to the power of Love that is selfless, Trust that is unconditional and Hope that God is the goodness in us all to be our brothers’ keepers!
Baje writes from Lagos