Everyone Nigeria knows that times are hard. Even the rich are complaining about the hard, terrible times. All because the bad economy has made the cost of living go through the roof and affected standard of living. Many families can hardly get two good meals a day. Basic healthcare is out of reach of of many families. As the naira continues to plummet against the dollar and other major currencies, the price of practically everything in Nigeria, including sachet water, has shot up.
Trust the devil, who the Good Book says goes about to carry out his primary terrible assignments of killing, stealing and destroying, wily serpent, master of subtility, has pounced on the present situation in the country, to cause trouble, taking away the peace of people, creating tension, pressure, anger and bitterness. While the majority of people have learnt to cope and manage the situation, others have allowed the devil mess up their lives and lead them to do things they spend time regretting for the rest of their lives.
Now, it is interesting to know that simple psychology has taught that the more the mind is relaxed in a comfort zone, the better result it brings out in reasoning and attitude. But then, the present situation with which most people found themselves has provoked sleepless nights. Within the wee hours, when the soul is helplessly lonely, those inconsequential mind-blowing thoughts of the night pierces the heart and recap both past and present bitter experiences. With some not necessarily knowing how to balance the equation, they wake up on the wrong side of the day with such feelings and wear a long face as the case may be. It is at such situations that all will learn to be calming down no matter how bad the situation is. When one’s mood is already punctured, he or she should learn to manage himself first and respect others. Again, when personal confrontations, aggrandizement and bad taste of life seems to take over one’s being, it will be important for such a fellow to also have patience and calm down, because in that state, anything might be possible. Several stories have been told of the gory things that some people did in feat of rage and absolute loss of control of anger. Such people just failed to calm down when it mattered the most. One notable fact about calming down is that it is the pause that helps get once thoughts back in order, and feelings under control. It gives all the persistence to carry out things that will control our feelings and therefore it remains an important tool in overcoming frustration, take a step back and make informed decisions that avoid irreparable damage and ensure peace.
I have not forgotten a close friend, Mrs. Oyediran, who would always lock herself up when she was going through anger issue: “I do so when I am not happy, so I do not transfer aggression to others or say things that I will not take back. I just do not like to offend others when I am tensed up.” Again, she said that action helps her achieve her goal and think strategically and evaluate a situation completely for things to fall into pleasant places. What we also fail to understand is that when we relegate patience, we ignore the innovative wisdom that comes from going with our instincts and initial perspectives.
Now, imagine the case of Ndubuisi Uwadiegwu from Enugu State who allegedly beat his wife Ogochukwu, to death over a loaf of bread. Uwadiegwu’s wife Ogochukwu Enene from Umuokpu village, Awka in Anambra State had asked her husband to buy a loaf of bread for the children’s breakfast. He declined saying that he had no money; his wife bought the bread with her money for the children and left it in the kitchen. Within seconds, her husband went into the kitchen and ate the bread. He did not just eat half, but consumed the whole loaf. When the wife asked why he did so, Ndubuisi beat her blue and black. The internal and external injuries he inflicted on the woman led to her untimely death. Now, in analyzing and suggesting that people should be calming down, one therefore notes that there is no woman who would not have queried her husband for consuming the whole loaf meant for the children. Unfortunately, poverty of thought content took then upper hand. Then again, for the fact that the father of five could not buy bread that morning does not make him a lesser being or uncaring father, but that is not also a reason to ruthlessly descend on his wife, to point of sending her to an early grave. Certainly, he would be gnashing his teeth in regret, just because he did not calm down, did not control his anger. Being patient is not being weak; rather it is being balanced, learning values no matter how he tries to cover up. On the side of the late wife, even if she had raised her voice, to make case of the bread, she did not deserve death for any reason. She was entitled to life and deserved to live.
Do we talk about 49-year-old Lawrence Itakpe, who was arraigned before the Yaba Magistrate Court, Lagos State, for allegedly killing his wife, Rebecca, at their house in the Ajah area of Lagos State. Lawrence and Rebecca, who were married for 11 years with two kids, had an argument over a sachet of water. In the process, the Lawrence rushed into the kitchen and returned with a knife, with which he allegedly stabbed her multiple times in the chest and neck, leading to her sudden death. A security guard was reported to have knocked on the couple’s door while the heated argument was on, Lawrence allegedly refused to open the door until the harm was done.
Without a doubt, men and women who have learnt to calm down in the face of disagreement have seen become the patient dogs who eats the fattest bone. The Okoronkwos understood the body language and temperament associated with the harsh condition and therefore became extremely careful in their daily dealings. When their 12-year-old daughter, Praise, broke the side mirror of car that belonged to the Ucheomas, their neighbour, the little girl stood by the car and owned up that she caused the damage instead of running away like other children did. Mr. Ucheoma was so impressed with the girl’s conduct, he calmed down and congratulated her parents for raising a worthy child. In fact, he was so impressed that he simply smiled, waived the damages and moved on due to the little girl’s conduct. Most preachers of the word hinted on patience in their new year messages especially in this trying times. The case of calming down is not for a particular gender, but pertains to all, to make sure that the demon that pushes people to commit crime is kicked out and the3 .
It is important for us to know that a moment of patience and calming down in a moment of anger saves a hundred regrets. It is a show of wisdom. Calming down on issues and avoiding unnecessary drama improves one’s ability to accept setbacks and enjoy life much better. An adage says good things come to those who wait. That waiting period allows one to make more productive decisions, often leading to greater success. Most people who practice patience and calming down have a greater sense of gratitude while dealing with others. One notable fact about calming down on issues of life is that it is the pause that helps get our thoughts back in order and control our feelings. It also allows perseverance. Not having patience allows atrocities to abound, oftentimes causing death and irredeemable damage.
Marriage counselors often advise young people not to rush into marriage, to avoid having to rush out again. There is more to it than meets the eyes. Benedict Iyoro, an maritime lawyer met Veronica Chime, a fresh graduate at the gym, and that first attraction led a steamy relationship. When the bubble burst, both realized that their mistake was lack of patience and not calming down. Their relationship was fast-forwarded that Vero moved in with her boyfriend hoping that marriage would be consummated immediately. Said bye-bye to the aunt who she was living with. With time, Benedict’s younger siblings gave her pressure that turned to sleepless nights. The outcome was that she could not go back to her aunt and had become very uncomfortable with her new found abode. She found herself at the crossroads. She regretted her decision to move in with Benedict and wished she had been more patient.
My Dear Readers, the year has already ticked off 15 days as you read this column. Resolve to calm down when situations come up. Take a step back, evaluate the situation critically, let wisdom, rather than emotion, lead you into the right decision called for at the material moment. This way, you will be able to kick out the devil and thus avoid regrets.