A common, bloody egg has caused an “earthquake”! With just an ordinary yoke and shell, Miss Egg staged an unprecedented coup – dethroning the queen of virtual media. Family sources said last night that Kylie Jenner, the disgraced Instagram monarch, might sue the “little egg” to a lawn tennis court!
Kylie had 18 million likes, including those of flies and grasshoppers on February 6, 2018, when she posted the first picture of her daughter, Stormi weather, sorry, Webster. The little girl’s fresh excreta must have been so irresistible that hordes of flies and other insects descended on it! An “egg-test” in Jenner’s DNA showed that her penchant for unreality is hereditary! Her stupidity and unquenchable taste for publicity was overthrown on January 14, 2019. By – what for it – an egg, without a conscience! At a post-match briefing, Miss Egg stuck out her tongue, calling Kylie desperate.
Miss Egg: Take it easy, little Jenner. Instagram likes do not translate into reality.
Kylie: How dare you overthrow me? Don’t you know that hunger for publicity runs in my family? My father is now a woman. And, my step-sisters breath and eat fantasy. Fake living is our life.
Miss Egg: Really!? But why is your family so desperate for publicity?
Kylie: Watch your mouth. I mean, shell – little egg! Or I fry you and eat. You are just an egg, ok? (In anger, she gave Miss Egg a knock with a little note): “Take that little egg”!
Miss Egg: I wish you the same. After all, we are the same!
The battle between Kylie Jenner and Miss Egg is an eye-opener. When we were kids, someone, must have been Lai, told us that if we ate eggs, we would steal. And now that we are older, they tell us that egg is not good for old age. Kills fast with calories, I was told! Even as a child, no one bothered to tell me that egg is more than just the shells. It contains the white, the yoke and a lot of morals. Raw life contains hardship and plain living. It also has a portion filled with richness both in colour and texture. But life requires us to be alert lest our shells get broken unceremoniously and life ends in rot and stench!
This Kylie-Egg “battle” reveals how important egg is to the world. For instance, in times of kwashiorkor, doctors are quick to advise us to give our kids eggs. Egg stores enough protein needed for nourishment of the body. The “battle” is also an important reminder that we are all eggs. Besides, it is doubtful whether some living organisms would have multiplied without eggs. The egg “story” may also expose human stupidity. What can we say of those who hate eggs but eat chicken? Did the chicken not evolve from the egg?
Egg is not just a source of protein, it’s also a source of money. If you doubt me, ask Babasanjo! And other retired military brass-turned-egg farmers. And most importantly, egg is a teacher! It taught Kylie that no one has the monopoly of (Instagram) likes, enthronement and stupidity! It also teaches that we are all eggs! Humans, say biologists, emerge from the fertilization of eggs by some stubborn sperms! Oh, common! There are good eggs and bad eggs, too! Like life, while a good egg settles down in a glass of water (and enjoys); a bad egg floats – perhaps, struggling for fresh air.
Another lesson is that inside the egg is life. In other words, egg harbours life. Egg has the potential No, egg is a potential! It is prone to growth and change. It also embodies rot and stench! The same egg we eat for good health; the same egg that could eventually produce an animal or bird, could rot and send a community scampering for fresh air. The egg which looks adorable one minute can smash and become useless the next. Egg calls for care and caution. It calls for attention!
The philosophy of the egg is that of small beginnings. The scripture urges us not to forsake the days of “small beginnings”. Usually, the small beginnings (of an egg) lead to something big. Take the humans for example. That is why, in practical terms, any government which genuinely impacts on the people even with “small-small” projects with big potentials, must be appreciated. Didn’t they say big things come in “small” packages? Ask Akwa Ibom people, for instance, why they appreciate Gov Udom Emmanuel. Some insist the governor’s “small-small” industries have the potentials of growing big tomorrow and accommodating more of their children. Already, a number of the citizens are gainfully engaged. They argue that if the state had progressed with the “small-small” industries established earlier by the late Gov Clement Isong, the sky would have been their stepping stone by now.
We are all eggs, jare! The lesson in the egg is enormous and enduring. If only we stop to learn from the egg, then as humans, we all would be careful how we treat others. Today, Mr Mighty, a product of an egg nonetheless, can be a nobody tomorrow. The moment he dies, his ego, stature and status are deflated like a smashed egg. And, Mr Pauper, when he also dies, takes the form of a shattered egg. Both, irrespective of status, decompose under the ground – smelling like rotten egg.
Egg teaches us to pay more attention to life. And our fellow beings. Egg amplifies the biblical insight that life is “vanity upon vanity”! Egg teaches us that life and living may discriminate; but death is a leveler! Egg teaches us that life is in stages –there’s the shell; the white and the yoke. Each has its value and function. Egg belongs to no party and has not ethnicity. No gender! Once it has gender, it is no longer an egg. Oh! As fake life increases, fake egg emerges. Not all eggs are natural anymore. Some are as fake as Instagram (social media) lifestyle!