Money problems can bring uncertainty in the relationship, which can cause it to live a short life. The quality of life will go down if the two of you live in poverty, and not everyone wants that. And if the person doesn’t want to improve, it can be extremely difficult to live with them.
Money issues can be a sure short cut to ruining marriage. Let’s look at a few scenarios…
When the philosophy of your earning and spending is divided in this form, “Mine, Yours, Ours”, it may lead to disaster. This is because you can’t seem to agree on how to divide the income in the home. Sometimes, when each spouse works and they can’t agree on financial issues or find the time to talk about them, they decide to split the bills down the middle or allocate them out in some other fair and equitable manner that suits them. But, couples should be able to agree on which account will be used for paying bills and how much of their cheques go into that form. I suppose that it would be alright for each partner to maintain a separate account for their needs.
Debt: it is important to decide who owes what, the balances on each of those and if they will be absorbed into the relationship expenses. For instance, if Tunde is carrying a N300,000 credit card bill and Bola only has N25000 in credit card bills, then both must sit down to decide whether N325,000 gets to be added to the family liabilities or whether each party will continue paying their own bill. Without this agreement, soon there will be resentment.
Extended Family: Couples always look to see if one partner favours her side of the family when it comes to gift giving. Does she spend N20,000 to buy gifts for her mom and dad while she allocated only N5000 for his side of the family? This always causes problems. Who is nicer to the other side of the family is a question that couples ask of themselves unfairly. Both have to agree to spend a uniform amount for the gifts going to the in-laws. This should be mutually agreed upon. If the other person randomly decides to give at any other time, then it should come out of my-stash account and not fromour-stash account.
Be mindful to talk about money. Do not shove unopened bills into the closet. Discuss why it was late and have a plan to bring it up to date. Do not allow shock and bitterness to spring up when one partner erroneously thought bills were being taken care of as designated. If you can’t meet up, be open and tell your spouse that you can’t handle the family finances. Do not take on more than you can chew.
Money problems can cause a rift in your relationship if it is not discussed and resolved. Do your best to be transparent and learn to be frugal. Living an extravagant lifestyle on a student budget is a prerequisite for disaster. Be careful.
ν Dr. NJ