A young lady’s father abandoned her mother and two elder sisters when she was five years old because her mother couldn’t give him a son. He abandoned them for another woman to give him a male child.
When this lady was 26, she met a man who was serious about marrying her but her husband-to-be gave her the condition that she must apologize to her father and make peace with him before they tie the nuptial knot.
This young lady agreed to go and look for a man who abandoned her, who didn’t know how she went to school because her husband to be wanted to pay the bride price to her father so that he can bless their marriage. She obliged because she didn’t want to lose the man.
Why would a man who wants to marry a woman ask her to apologize to a man who abandoned her and her sisters for over 22 years as a condition to marrying her? Why would a she put up with such a condition in the first place?
That man was a deadbeat dad and his daughter just broke her mother’s heart by going to look for someone who abandoned them and begged him so that she can receive marriage blessing from him.
Deadbeat fathers are in the spotlight again on the Nigerian social media scene because the ex husband of Nollywood actress Ngozi Ezeonu accused her of giving out their daughter in marriage without his consent.
According to him, his daughter is not married because he believes in the culture and tradition of Anambra people that says a woman doesn’t have the authority to give out her daughter in marriage.
A deadbeat dad is someone who doesn’t fulfill their parental responsibilities, especially when they evade court ordered child support obligations or custody arrangements.
Here are 10 characteristics of deadbeat dads you can’t miss:
1. They don’t know important details about their children. They don’t know the size of their children’s clothes and shoes. They don’t know the school their children attend or their classes. These are all basic things a good father should know.
2. They make life difficult for the mothers of their children. Deadbeat fathers are bad news. They are good at making life difficult for the mothers of their children who are trying so hard to make their children feel the impact of their absence less.
3. They are clearly absent in the lives of their children physically and emotionally. Deadbeat fathers have little or no relationship with their children because they are not present in these children’s lives. They don’t provide their children with emotional or financial support.
4. They blame their children’s mothers for how bad their lives turn out. These women are to blame for their inability to provide for their children. These women are the reason their children hate them. These women are the reason they can’t make headway in life.
5. They spend time with other people except their children. Deadbeat dads are there for other people but for some weird reason, they are not present for their children. If a man has the ability to see his children and chooses not to, he’s a deadbeat dad.
6. They don’t contribute financially and emotionally to the upbringing of their children. They are always broke. They always don’t have money to take care of their children’s needs.
7. They use their children as weapons to fight their exes. Men who are deadbeat dads use their children against their mothers. They tell their children how terrible their mothers are without pointing out their own failings.
8. They hurt their children with their words and actions. They try to get back at their ex by saying hurtful things to their children. This is not fair. Children hardly forget hurtful words from parents and it may mar them emotionally.
9. They refuse to sacrifice for their children. They put themselves and their needs first. They only care about their personal satisfaction, even if it’s at the expense of the happiness or safety of their own children.
10. They blame their ex for their absence on their children’s lives. While it is true that some women alienate their children from their fathers, deadbeat dads always find ways to make their exes responsible for the poor or non-existent relationship that they have with their children.
It is sad that in this society deadbeat dads get a pat on the back for refusing to take responsibility for their children whenever their daughters want to get married instead of being ignored.