I was raised in a family, where we all ate together and apart from dresses, nobody had anything personal. In Standard 2 in 1951, I spent some months with one of my Aunties, married to a polygamous man. She was old and had no children. I would watch with envy, how her husband would gather all his children for dinner.
The wives, except my Aunty, would serve him food. Each of them would taste the food she brought before he and his children would eat it, to be sure that it was not poisoned. I loved that, and wished I had also, a polygamous dad!
When I was in Standard 6, I lived with a Head Master of a junior primary school, making me to be trekking five kilometers to a Standard 6 school. During the Easter holidays, my Oga and his spouse travelled home for the burial of his mum. His son, who was a teacher in my school, came to spend the holidays with us. I was surprised that he would ride my OgaTs bicycle secretly as his dad would not allow him to be riding it. Imagine! When he gained admission to the Teacher Training College, our Head Master was so excited that he accompanied him to our house, to break the good news to his dad. Our Head Master, my Oga and his son, sat at our living room, discussing it. I was told that it was the first time my Ogass son ever sat there, though he was the only son! Things have changed today. My sons started driving our cars from their secondary school days.
I was surprised when a mum and her nannies were asking her young children what they would eat during each meal time and they would respond according to the childss preference. I wondered what would happen when the children would be in the boarding houses in the secondary schools. I wondered whether they would be dictating then, what to be served during breakfast, lunch and dinner. In those old good days, we, as parents, served our children what we could afford. We felt also that the health of our children might be affected adversely, if they were allowed to eat what they wanted. Their delight, for sure, would be in foodstuffs that contained much sugar, and that they might not like the ones that contained the necessary vitamins their body would require.
In the past, children were attached emotionally to their parents, asking them questions always and they were receiving answers from their parents. Today, children are attached to their telephones, and video recordings instead of their parents. Depending on their age, most of them direct their questions to Google and the response is formal and not personal. In a certain family, where the oldest child was five years old, the parents were constrained to go to another family to rest for a while. It was surprising that after asking for the whereabouts of their parents for a few days, none of them bothered again. They would have behaved differently if it was their toy, telephone and videos that were taken away from them!
I muse each time I see young children wasting time as they argue with their mum or nanny on the dress to wear during the day or at bedtime. The reason is that they have hundreds, from where they make their choice. In the past, the story was different. It was almost the same, during the day and at night, until it was washed or when it was torn. There were no other clothes to choose from. Rich parents did not overload their children with dresses.
Parents were choosing, relatively, also their childrenss friends and the families their children would be relating with. sDonDt go to this house, the father of these children poisons people,t a dad could be telling his children and they would comply. Things have changed today. Children decide where to go and who they will be relating with.
Children, in the past, leaned on their parents, seeking for guidance on some issues. Parents, today, lean on their children on many things, such as the internet, computer, et cetera, in which the children know better. The children are no more keen in knowing and visiting their extended family members but are contended with their parents.
Parents in the past would figure out the professions they wanted their children to pursue, irrespective of the interest of the children or their inert ability. Imagine, compelling an art s student to be an Engineer or a Medical doctor! It is possible for the student to manage to qualify in that discipline but he will not make much progress in it. One of such people, after Medical school and earning his MBBS, he quitted and joined an Audit firm. He sat the ICAN examinations and passed, winning the third prize position, thus, he qualified as a Chartered Accountant. We met when his Audit Firm came to audit our company. I asked him why he abandoned his Medical practice for Accountancy. His response was that his parents chose Medicine for him, though they had two doctors, that he loved Accountancy, the great profession!
Today, it is strange for parents to choose a profession for their children. Children choose the profession they like, only to be guided and encouraged by literate parents. This explains why, most of them, unlike their parents, excel in their various fields, even at a tender age. They are making the most out of the professions, we, during our time, had thought to be demeaning. These include modeling, acting, movie industry, et cetera.
In the past, people who lived in urban towns were respected highly in their various villages. It was exciting if someone was invited there. The thrill of entering the train or bus was enormous. Young girls were thrilled when they were brought to urban areas for babysitting, and their services were free. The internet has brought the urban areas home to everyone, no matter where. It means nothing any longer for one to be invited to the urban areas. The salary of housemaids today is enormous.
My friend, a Professor, took me last December to his office in his university at Atlanta, US. I was surprised to hear, that most of the time, his lectures were on line. In Nigeria, it was the lockdown that forced children, even the young ones, to be studying on line! It would be strange to imagine such a thing in our old good days.
For further comment, Please contact: Osondu Anyalechi: 0802 3002-471; [email protected]