For those well-versed in the world of online dating, it often seems like your list of potential matches is nothing more than a veritable cesspool of creeps, horny teens, and illiterate folks.
There’s nothing more frustrating than swiping right on someone you are sure is future spouse, only to then receive a barrage of sexist messages or, even worse, an unsolicited private part picture.
Dating Apps can also be a breeding ground for uncomfortable exchanges that leave you wondering if you would be better off finding a new partner in the wild.
Finding a suitable partner on dating apps can be like navigating a mine field. You swipe around hoping to land on a good catch, but your optimism could easily end up blown up with disappointment.
Here are some mistakes many online daters make:
Some people are tempted to treat others less than respectfully on dating apps because they are essentially strangers with no real ties to one another. While this problem definitely applies to both genders, it seems more common that women are the victims of disrespectful and hostile messages online.
Sexual harassment is never okay and you should think twice before sending someone a terrible message. It’s not cool to be disrespectful.
Don’t think you are too good to date online
First of all, get over yourself. Dating online isn’t something for losers or people who can’t score a date in the wild.
A lot of people go on these apps very passively, very hesitantly, like they are ready to delete it any minute. In order for the apps to work, you really have to commit to actually being engaging on them.
If your profile looks like you don’t give a hoot, other people are probably going to assume you genuinely don’t care. If you take the time to put forth a little effort in your profile, you are more likely to find like-minded people with whom you would have a great date or even just great sex, if that’s what you are into. There’s no need to spend hours perfecting every sentence, just completing your profile in a fun, succinct way is good enough.
Choose true to life photos
You want to make sure your photos are recent and fresh–not crazy filtered or throwbacks. Whether it is pictures of you from 2015 or pictures of you where you appear a little thinner or a little better looking than you might actually be, that’s a mistake. If you think you might be doing this, check with a stranger, because your friends are not going to tell you that your favorite picture doesn’t look like you.
Short messages and responses
A conversation can’t go anywhere if the messages stay as basic as “hi” or “sup?” While it’s certainly not required that you write a novel to every new person you come across, your likelihood of getting a quality date will increase if you put in some effort and write creative, thoughtful messages to the people you are interested in. Spelling and grammar count counts too.
Don’t prioritize texting over real life interactions
Don’t get caught up in back and forth direct messages. If you are not meeting in person, this online connection will probably never make it in real life.
A lot of people are judging effort by the fingers and not by the feet. Make the time to meet your new date. That’s real effort. Texting is not effort.
Don’t fall too in love with what you see online
Make sure you don’t get ahead of yourself emotionally because of what you see of their social media profiles.
You match with someone and look them up on Instagram, look them up on Facebook, do a gentle stalk and you are like, ‘Oh, we are together. This is perfect. We are getting married.’ Hold your horses. Make sure the fireworks translate in person as well. Don’t jump the gun.
Being shallow often comes with the territory of online dating, and you should certainly not lower your standards just because, but users of dating apps should try to step outside their comfort zone for maximum results.
For example, if you always talk to or swipe right on the same type of guy or girl, consider expanding your horizons — best case scenario is that you meet someone new and great, and the worst that could happen is it doesn’t pan out and you revert back to your old ways.