Dear readers,
Since we have been talking about different problems that can crop up in a relationship, here is yet another problem that could be affecting your marriage right now: boredom. You might have been married for five or 20 years, but your marriage has become so predictable, sort of a routine where you can literally envisage what your day would look like for weeks. First, you both wake up, each in his/her own corner reading or sipping coffee. Both of you get ready for work and catch up in the afternoon just to find out what he wants for dinner. You get home, dinner is served, each in his own quiet moment and soon you retire to a different room either to watch television or to return phone calls and then it is bedtime. He is waiting to climb on top of you as you wash up, change, tie your hair and get into bed. He is ready, he just climbs on top of you, doesn’t say anything and in a few minutes, he gets his release, doesn’t say anything and just rolls away. Couple of minutes later, he is snoring away, and you are left high, dry and staring at the ceiling. Soon you sigh, wipe off a tear, turn to look at him but he is far gone in sleep. You turn off the light and with another sigh, you drift off to sleep. That is the routine for everyday and you are BORED. Is this your problem? If you do not take care of this issue now, you will end up in the divorce court. Is this what you want? I think not. So, what can you do about this problem? Let’s share some tips.
1. Be spontaneous and allow the element of surprise to be there all the time
Surprise your partner from time to time in a variety of ways. Arrive home with a small gift, cook your partner’s favourite meal or book a surprise weekend getaway. These types of surprises will keep the excitement alive and prevent you from getting stuck in a relationship rut.
2. Send exciting text messages that are laced with passion
When you’re apart, send romantic text messages to one another. This can build up your sexual hype for when you’ll see each other again. Encourage him to use texting to send romantic short messages of love, admiration, and encouragement. Don’t be afraid, use texting to spice things up. It is a simple and easy way to keep the romance in your relationship.
3. Schedule regular date nights
Most couples go on dates regularly during the initial phase of their relationship. However, going out to dinner often gets traded in for sitting on the couch. As a result, the relationship can become a little dull. Schedule regular date nights so you can spend quality time together as a couple.
4. Verbalize your loving feelings
Don’t forget to use your words to express your feelings. Sometimes people forget all those mushy things they used to say to one another once the relationship matures. Say, “I love you,” often and don’t shy away from words that truly express how you feel.
5. Try something new together
Participating in a new activity together can keep the relationship exciting. Take a Chinese cooking class, volunteer at a soup kitchen, or take golf lessons together. A willingness to learn something new together can help you grow together.
6. Spend time with friends who are couples
Spending time with couples who have healthy relationships can be good for you. Look for couples who share your values and who have a strong relationship. It can help reinforce the importance of commitment and help remind you to keep the relationship exciting.
7. Establish goals together
Create some goals that you can work on together as a couple. It may include a financial goal, such as saving a certain amount of money to go to on a vacation. Or, it could include a fitness goal, such as running a half marathon together. Working toward your goals can help you feel like a team and gives you new things to talk about and do together.
8. Discuss your hopes and dreams
It’s likely that when you were dating, you talked about your hopes and dreams. However, over time, those sorts of conversations can fall by the wayside. Set time aside to continue to discuss your dreams for the future and support one another in making those dreams a reality.
9. Ask meaningful questions
The types of questions couples ask each another will change overtime, but they don’t have to. Questions such as, “What was your life like when you were growing up?” often get replaced with questions like, “What do you want for dinner?” Continue to ask meaningful questions about your partner’s future plans, thoughts on current events, and feelings about a variety of topics. Try to get past superficial day-to-day conversations and dive deeper.
10. Greet one another with excitement
Show him or her that you have missed them. Welcome the other partner with open arms. The way you greet one another after being apart can set the tone for the rest of the day. Do not get into the habit of only greeting him when he walks upstairs or whatever room of the house where you are. As soon as you hear the keys jiggling in the hall way, leave whatever you are doing and run to give him a hug. Changing small habits, such as the way you greet your partner when they get home, can be key to a lasting relationship. Greet your partner at the door with a hug and a kiss and express your joy at being together again. This can start things off on the right foot and set you on the path to reconnect after being apart.
ν Dr. NJ