When a couple announces their engagement, people are supposed to be happy for them and assume it is a good thing.
There are couples who truly believed they were right for each other from the start, who went into this with the best intentions and then later, things changed.
But there are couples who get engaged for the wrong reasons, entering into marriage commitment already full of hesitation, reservations, and lots of doubt. They just hope it will go away. They just think that somehow, actually tying the knot will fix all of their problems.
Marriage is a commitment but when you are with the right person and you do the relationship the right way, take your time to know each other, go through some trials and tribulations before getting engaged—the legal commitment feels like a piece of cake.
So, if you are having a serious case of the cold feet before your marriage actually begins, it could be because you got engaged for the wrong reasons. Below are some signs that you got engaged out of fear:
You don’t want to discuss the wedding
Usually, people should be happy to talk about their wedding, but not you. You forgot that it would be all wedding talk after you got engaged. When people ask you things like, “So, when’s the wedding?” or “Have you found a dress?” you feel dizzy. You don’t want to discuss wedding planning. You want to change the subject.
You keep postponing the date
You keep putting the date off. You keep putting off the conversation in which you would choose a date. You keep finding ridiculous reasons to push the date back very far. For example, your best friend’s sister is getting married this year so it would be rude for you to also get married this year.
Your family was on your case
Your family has been on your case for years about you getting married. You dreaded seeing them because you know they would give you the third degree, psychoanalyzing you, trying to figure out what’s wrong with you and why you can’t find love. You wanted so badly to no longer be their project. You didn’t want them to worry anymore.
You recently broke off another one
Not long ago, you were engaged to somebody else. It ended badly. You were devastated. Truly, people wondered if you would ever get out of bed again. It was such a nightmare. There was a part of you that just wanted to pick up in a new relationship where you left off on the last one engaged and planning a wedding as if no time had passed. You didn’t want to grieve the broken engagement.
He’s big on family
This guy is huge on family. He made it very clear from the beginning that he was looking for a wife and hopes to have kids within a few years. His whole family is all about marriage and family. All of his siblings and cousins are happily married with children. You could just feel that, by not being married soon, you were contributing to his anxiety and the pressure he felt from his family. So you said yes.
Your friends’ dating horror stories
You have single friends. You hear the stories. You know that it’s bad out there. So rather than asking yourself if you are truly as happy as you could be and as in love as you could be, you started saying things like, “Well, at least he’s not totally narcissistic like everyone else seems to be.”
You feel left out
Everyone just seems like such a unit with their spouses. You want to be included in the conversation of married couples. You want so badly to have those forever conversations with your person. So, you are willing for it to be any person.
You can’t stand your family
You just want out of your family. Your whole life you told yourself, “If I can just find my perfect person, we can make our own family, and I will have excuses not to see mine as often. That perfect person didn’t come along but, somebody did. And the in-laws he comes with are great.
You forget to tell people
You keep forgetting to tell people that you are engaged. Friends will ask what’s new with you and you will tell them about your job, your new workout class, your new dress, a trip you have coming up etc. You forget to tell them you are engaged. You keep call him your boyfriend, too—not your fiancé.