This week, I have chosen to delve into an unfriendly territory. I am not penning this out of mischief. I respect our legislators. For me, they are the true representatives of the people. That notwithstanding and unlike Emperor Nero, I cannot sleep, while Rome burns.
Lawmaking anywhere in the world is serious business. Nigeria must therefore not be an exception. In Africa, we ought to lead the way, while others must follow. After all, our presidential system is the biggest and most expensive in the world, with the exception of the United States of America.
Regrettably, the composition of the current Eighth Senate is a far cry from what is expected. Yes, there are serious and active senators. They sponsor people-oriented motions. They make robust contributions. They are serious representatives of their people.
Unfortunately, the Senate is gradually becoming a retirement home for former governors. The Red Chamber, as it’s often called is now populated by tired and sleepy old men who should ordinarily be tending to their grandchildren.
In the current upper legislative chamber, there are about 20 former governors and deputies. More than eighty per cent of this league of former governors is either being investigated or currently facing trials at various courts.
Senators who once served as governors are Bukola Saraki of Kwara State, Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso of Kano State, Kabiru Gaya of Kano State, Godswill Akpabio of Akwa Ibom State, Theodore Orji of Abia State, Abdullahi Adamu of Nasarawa State, Sam Egwu of Ebonyi State, Shaaba Lafiagi of Kwara State, Joshua Dariye of Plateau State, Jonah Jang of Plateau State, Aliyu Magatakarda Wamakko of Sokoto State, Ahmed Sani Yarima of Zamfara State, Danjuma Goje of Gombe State, Bukar Abba Ibrahim of Yobe State, Adamu Aliero of Kebbi State and George Akume of Benue State.
Former deputy governors in the Senate are Mrs Biodun Olujimi of Ekiti State and Enyinaya Harcourt Abaribe of Abita State.
Danladi Abubakar Sani served as the acting governor of Taraba State.
This league of former governors and deputies parades the highest number of sleeping and tired senators. They are seldom in the chamber. Whenever they feel obliged to ‘visit’, they neither make contributions nor sponsor serious motions and bills.
They are committed bench warmers. When the lens of cameras is not ‘watching’, they take a quick nap. They are the last to come into the chamber, but the first to leave.
Within the vicinity of the Red Chamber, these ‘distinguished’ senators need no introduction. By their appearances, you shall know them.
This league of eminent lawmakers is on permanent holidays in the chamber. During the screening exercise of ministerial nominees in late 2015, these ‘elite’ lawmakers did not make any contributions.
The Eighth Senate has considered and passed two budgets since the inception of this current government. During the serious considerations of these important documents, the league of tired and sleeping senators looked the other way.
Pa Jonah Jang, octogenarian former governor of Plateau State, tops the list of tired lawmakers in the Senate. It’s always a beautiful sight to behold, whenever Senator Jang walks into the chamber.
For journalists covering the Senate, we usually observe a moment of silence whenever Pa Jang makes contributions. No journalist is permitted to speak. This is because we must pay extra attention in order to hear him. He struggles to speak.
Former governor of Yobe State, Senator Abba Bukar Ibrahim is a prominent member of this elite group. Since he left office as governor of the northeast state, he has been repeatedly reelected.
He is a frequent face in the chamber, no doubt.
He cracks jokes and illuminates the parliament. He seconds motions and sometimes makes contributions. His seat in the Senate, serves as the ‘Mecca’ of the Red Chamber. He is always consulted by other lawmakers.
Senator Ibrahim never misses plenary.
Despite his frequent attendance, he does not miss the slightest moment to take a quick nap when serious businesses are considered. Like Kano State Governor, Abdullahi Ganduje, Senator Ibrahim does not sleep at plenary. He only ‘pretends’.
A prominent member of the league of former governors, Senator Joshua Dariye, is another high flyer. He is the bench warmer-in-chief. For him, the Senate is a perfect retirement home. Like a retiree, he enjoys his largesse.
Senator Dariye is allergic to debates on the floor of the Senate. He is also allergic to sponsorship of serious motions and bills. He is however a champion of secondment of motions whenever active lawmakers lead the way.
Ochendo Worldwide (as he is often called in the Senate) and immediate-past governor of Abia State, Theodore Orji, is another retiree in the Senate. The South East parades some of the best brains in the Eighth Assembly. There are a few exceptions, however.
Give it to him, Senator Orji has sponsored motions and bills. He also seconds motions. But among the crop of South East lawmakers, Ochendo stands tall as the least contributor to serious debates and motions.
I cannot end this piece without giving honour to ‘distinguished’ Senator Jeremiah Useni. He’s a former Minister of the Federal Capital Territory and retired Army General. Like Jang and Dariye, Useni is from Plateau State. In the chamber, Useni abhors sponsorship of bills and motions. On the floor, he looks the other way or chats with fellow idle colleagues. He is also irritated by the presence of journalists outside the chamber. Maybe he still harbors the false belief that he is in active service in the military.
Outside the chamber, he also keeps mum. Journalists are often instructed by his staff to write formal letters to secure appointments with the ‘distinguished’ senator.
It’s unprecedented in the Red Chamber. It’s a taboo for media guys to visit his office without prior approval by the General. He is a special breed.
There are other idle people in the Senate, who in the real sense of it, should not be addressed as lawmakers. They only wear the toga of lawmakers, but fail to perform the responsibilities attached to the title.
I hold the Senate in very high esteem, but the truth must be told sometimes. Tired and sick lawmakers who have nothing to offer should not convert the revered chamber into a retirement home for spent forces (politicians). I do not want wahala. So, let me drop my troublesome pen here. Cheers.
One more thing…
The Senate is gradually becoming a Fuji House of Commotion where anything goes. Senators, who ordinarily should set the standard need to be tutored on how to comport themselves whenever serious issues are considered at plenary.
Everyday, the Chief Whip of the Senate loses his voice while trying to call erring and noise-making lawmakers to order. Their movements disrupt proceedings and the Senate President, Bukola Saraki is sometimes frustrated.
No lawmaker is exempted. Maybe Saraki may have to secure a whip and ensure that it’s ‘used’ whenever lawmakers err.
Imagine folks from other parts of the world watching the misnomer and the funny impression they create.
Lawmakers should lead by example and observe some decorum. Besides, senators do not sit beyond 2pm daily. They commence the day’s legislative business between 10.30-11am and conclude before 2pm. Moreso, they attend plenary three out of seven days in a week.
If you add up everything, senators only spend 10 hours, 30 minutes weekly in the chamber. If they cannot maintain the minimum decorum within this brief period, then we are in trouble.