It is not uncommon to hear women say that they have been victims of rape, sexual harassment and molestation. To some people, it sounds incredible that a woman can rape a man. But the truth is that both boys and men have experienced sexual molestation or rape in the hands of women. And it is still happening till date. In the same way that some men get aroused at the sight of a woman and want to have carnal knowledge of her (which could lead to rape) that is also how some women admire and desire a man secretly until they have an appropriate time to express that burning desire.
Warped and as incredible as it may sound, it seems that some men enjoy being raped or sexually molested by women. You get this impression from hearing the ‘victims’ who are supposed to be psychologically crushed and ashamed of such un-consented act utter with a sense of pride: “I have been raped.” They discuss it with raucous laughter, relishing every minute of the experience as they tell again the story. They do not take the molestation or rape as sexual abuse, the way the same un-wanted sex act is viewed when a woman is the victim. It is not a low moment for the men rather it is seen as one of those challenges that life throws at people.
Prosecution and awareness is less when a man is molested and raped.
From the accounts of personal experiences shared by a number of men, there is now evidence that men are also victims of rape and other forms of sexual abuse. A typical example is a situation where career women leave their young male children for bastardized housemaids to play around with their emotions and induce them into compelled sex acts. In such situations the hapless boy is intimidated with the stern warning: “If you tell anyone, I will kill you.” These bizarre maids begin by fondling the private organs of the innocent boy. From that point the maid-abuser or auntie deploys other weapons in her arsenal, including sex scenes in movies and other explicit adult movies to coach and suborn the young boy and then go on to actual sex act where she plays the lead role. Step by step, a once innocent child is corrupted. Not a few young boys have contracted sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV, through such sexual abuse of minors by devil’s incarnate masquerading as housemaids. One can only imagine the mental torture the hapless victims may have been put through before they became hardened offenders.
Rape by nature does not only occur when the opposite sexes, whether older men or women, lure a victim into such, but same sex version, either homosexuality and lesbianism, amounts to rape as well. Findings have also noted that homosexuals do not really stick to one partner. The tighter the more interesting it is for them; hence the quest for young virgin boys. Women also lure fellow women into illicit sex. Most of them claim they want to avoid unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. When two female partners were allegedly accused of being together, the older woman confessed that she did not want to get pregnant since her husband was serving a jail term in a foreign country and she used such as an excuse to destroy the younger girls in her neighbourhood.
Adolescent boys are considered hot cakes by female paedophiles. The mind of this category of boys is not actually strong like that of an adult. They are drawn by the fantasy and want to experience it, but some others are only propelled by fear, threat and intimidation. So many of today’s male rapists were mostly victims when they were much younger, and the experience left an indelible mark on their psyche. Some victims eventually experienced healing while some saw it as stepping stone to go into illicit harassment on either the girls or boys. Recall the media report that a JSS2 student in one of the unity schools impregnated a female youth corps member. In this situation, who is to blame? Between the corps member and the student, who was older? Who should have cautioned the other? Who was more experienced in the discussion, practice and modus operandi of sexual activities between the two of them? Was it not in this country that an accomplished female lawyer took in a young boy who lived in the same home with her and molested him for months before the bubble burst. A colleague told me of how he ran into the lavatory to escape from an aunt he suspected of attempting to rape him. Another told of how he was bought over by a lady, who told him what to do on her. He did it and innocently told the story of how he urinated inside a lady. How about an undergraduate that was locked inside a room? He was only let go after he had a head injury in the course of the struggle with the lady. Though the wound healed, it left an indelible scar. The list is endless.
Now, women who step out in all manner of suggestive dresses to public places are agents of sexual abuse, who either willingly want to be raped or looking for whom to sexually molest. When half of the breast is popping out of a dress, when the slit of a dress is showing all the inner wears and private areas; when some lingerie meant for the other room is worn and showcased publicly, who is the prey and who is the predator? Backup singers who are not the original owners of the music would wear only bikini and piece of cloth that barely covers their upper region while the musician is dressed in full, but funny apparel or musical costume, but still properly covered.
To avoid pastors being tempted or seduced by indecently dressed female members, who may also sit carelessly without properly closing their legs that women in some churches were banned from sitting on the front pew. Women take their seats from the fourth row and backwards. In one of the churches, it was regarded as ‘discrimination in the house of God’; the front pews were then converted into a mini-proper cupboard with a thick demarcation between the preacher on the pulpit and his congregants. So, even if a woman purposely opens her leg before the preacher, he sees nothing, but the wood that covers her up.
Now, homes that see the abuse of the girl-child as a big deal and that of a boy-child as a small deal are making a huge mistake. Both are abuses and should be treated with the same magnitude. Upbringing of male and female children should be the same. No one is greater or stronger than the other. An abused boy should be taken as seriously as an abused girl. A layman’s language described it thus: “When a girl spoils, she don spoil, but boys will always be boys who no de spoil.” This is a big fallacy because, stories have been told of rampaging men who were finally nailed down by HIV/AIDS and died in the process while their victims lived to battle it out.
The long vacation is here and it would be ideal for parents to closely study their wards. The youngsters should be actively engaged in both academic and house works. Let boys learn how to cook, wash clothes and plates, clean the kitchen and wash toilets. Let their minds be engaged with meaningful activities to reduce the risk of rape of the boys and girls.