PAGE 2 BUSINESS of June 22 welcomes us today with this brief case: “Consumers laud ‘Everyone has a Chivita campaign” A rewrite: Everyone-has-a-Chivita’ campaign

“Ibeto vs EFCC: Out of court settlement failed woefully” Another reconstruction: Out-of-court settlement failed abysmally—not ‘woefully’ Also note the hyphenation in the correction.

“NDLEA arrests 487 for drug related (drug-related) offences in Yolanue”

“The status of Chris Ngige, Pauline Tallen and Timipre Sylva, who initially indicated interest to contest for elective positions, but chickened out, are (is) unknown.” (NATIONAL NEWS, June 22) Subjects and verbs must agree!

“President Buhari also assured to provide an enabling environment for….” Who did PMB assure?

“To avoid future occurrences (avoid recurrences)….”

Overheard in the morning of June 20 as I was sun-bathing in my sabbatical circumstance: “How is children”? From time to time, I get to hear this tragic salutation! Please, how are your children?

The Guardian of June 5 goofed: “The decision by the Federal Government to once again increase electricity tariff against public disapproval, and despite the poor power supply situation, smacks of obduracy and disdain to public feeling.” Before the irresponsible hike: disdain for (not to) public feeling. You do not need to be a lexicologist to know this.

The PUNCH of June 4 published multifarious improprieties on the country’s hapless insecurity and leadership disaster: “As at 8.15pm (8.15 p.m.) (‘when’ is missing at this point) our correspondent left the area, the policemen were still keeping guards (guard).” No callousness intended in this season of national grief.

“My children and I escaped death by the whiskers (by a whisker). My son…who is 13 year (why?) was just about to step outside to buy recharge card (what of the article ‘a’?) when the crash occurred.”

“Suddenly (a comma) I heard the sound of the plane; it was too close, so I look (looked) out of the window….”

“I heard a loud bang.” The woman (that’s the respondent) heard a bang (not ‘a loud bang’!). It is the reporter’s (and the editor’s) responsibility to check for basic grammatical lapses in an interviewee’s response—even if it is verbatim reportage! I stand challenged on this twist. Mind you, communication is dynamic. No convention in language deployment.

Lastly from The PUNCH under review: “…there is (are) also a two storey (two-storey) building and a storey building.” And this: single-storey and two-storey buildings to avoid structural clumsiness.

Let us welcome back Sunday Independent to this column after its long absence from our lexical court. Its June 19 edition threw up a couple of errors: “The best way of to (sic) describe the PDP primaries last week Saturday….” Beyond electioneering (not ‘electioneering campaign’): last Saturday or Saturday, last week.

“Bimbo Akintola, Gbenga Adeyinka, Funsho Adeolu shines (what?) at May Celebrity”

“Our leaders should be sworn-in (sworn in) with traditional objects” Will there ever be an end to this serial goof? Phrasal verbs abhor hyphenation.

Related News

“Sexual (sic) transmitted diseases” Humanity has moved from sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) to sexually-transmitted infections (STIs), just as we have moved from total quality management (TQM) to total quality improvement (TQI) in health and management science scholarship.

“Two epoch making (sic) events” (Full-page Colour Advert by Government College Ughelli Old Boys (sic) Association) Keep the Ship sailing: Two epoch-making events and old boys’ association.

THE GUARDIAN of May 31 disseminated two shibboleths to round off the month: “…I think what the country requires at the moment is to amend the law that would empower INEC to begin gradual use of the equipment culminating into (in) what will be perfection.”

“Mixed reactions over CBN’s cash reserve ratio” My reaction to (not over) this is that a publication of THE GUARDIAN status should not commit juvenile blunders!

“Some people have in recent times been advocating for a sovereign national conference” No government in power (and authority) will allow such a convocation that has the potentialities of invalidating its constitutional mandate. By the way, ‘advocate’, as a verb, does not take ‘for’.

“…the prospects of bilateral military co-operation between Nigeria and the US in the troubled spots of West Africa.”  One of the fascinating aspects of the English language: trouble spots.

“…the first to establish a coloured television in sub-Saharan Africa.” Creating a new NTA: colour TV station.

“The truth or otherwise of these allegations were put on different occasions to both….” The truth was (not were).

“The untimely and avoidable death (which one is timely and unavoidable?) is another bloody feather on (sic) the cap of drivers of trailers and other haulage vehicles.”  Another lexical feather in the cap of my late ‘cousin’, Mr. Bayo Oguntuase, who exited this cruel world a few days before his 80th birthday not long ago!

Still on the Dana Airline fatality 10th anniversary; take note that it is contradictory and blasphemous to say: “With gratitude to God for a life well spent, we regret to announce the death of our.…” It is impossible to be grateful to my Almighty Father and in the same breath express regret, sadness, grief…. If your emotions overwhelm your spirituality and belief in eternal life, then swallow your gratitude.  In that case it becomes: “With grouse about the Creator and disappointment in all He stands for, we regret to announce the untimely (excuse the trite expression) demise of…!

“It must also be remembered that the party made an effort to integrate with either of the two parties….” No riot: either of the parties. ‘Either of the two parties’ can lead to avoidable morphological brouhaha.

“The players were now absorbed in the game when somebody ran into the yard, towards the backyard and breathlessly dashed passed (pass) them.”

“Oil prices hit $33, Iraq accuses U.S. of double standards” Conscience, nurtured by truth: double standard (not standards).

“Iraq…continues to point accusing fingers at its major adversary, the United States, over alleged double standards (sic).” Fixed expression: point the finger.

“Students of the University of Lagos sometime ago demanded for immediate and unconditional restoration of the institution’s brand name, insisting that the equity is beyond political placation.”  ‘Demand’ does no admit ‘for’ except when used as a noun. For those who do not know, this my Alma Mater is the country’s university of first choice.