He was very sick and the diagnosis was not good. The illness was terminal with little chances of survival. While he was willing to take his chances even though his treatment will be capital intensive, his wife and children felt it will be an effort in futility. They asked him why he would waste so much money when he has just 20% chances of survival? They reminded him that at 60, he has lived a good life.
But he ignored his wife and children instead. “They are entitled to their opinions. As long as I have breath, can afford it and can still take decisions, I will exhaust my options”. He said. He needed someone he could trust aside his family. He needed this person to carry out his wishes even if he turns out vegetative.
His car mechanic of many years readily came to mind. He is the most honest and trusted person he knows. Blank Cheques were signed, his account officer at the bank was instructed to pay the mechanic whenever he presents a cheque, it doesn’t matter the amount involved. The hospital were aware who to give the medical bills to.
He was wheeled into the theater. He came out barely alive and was in coma for several weeks. His wife and children visited him as much as they could even though his decision to explore the capital intensive option didn’t go down well with them. But the mechanic was in the hospital all day every day running errands. He also provided every meal that was fed the unconscious man.
He pulled through. He survived the surgery and started feeling much better but he needed further examinations and treatment overseas. He announced to his immediate family of his intention to travel abroad for further medical checks, his wife and children were excited that at least one of them will accompany him abroad, but the old man had other plans. He told them he has chosen his mechanic to accompany him instead. His wife and children started to threaten thunder and brimstone.
These people were less concerned while he was in the Nigerian hospital. They were only keeping up appearances for the public, because to them, he was as good as dead, but all of a sudden they are willing to accompany him abroad for medical check up. He called their bluff once again and traveled with who he felt most comfortable and safer with.
One time, I listened to a conversation between some relatives. A lady narrated how her brother was in critical condition, they had no money to foot his medical bills, so they reached out to the public and eventually help came. Even though the guy’s condition was between life and death, help kept coming but it was not enough to pay for his bills. This lady was spending everything she had to get the best treatment for her only brother.
Then her cousins started telling her some funny things. They told her how the money she’s spending on treating her brother may be a waste. They said this could be the opportunity God is using to uplift their family financially. They advised she forgets about her brother and keep the money to herself and that if God wants him to survive, he will survive anyway, but if He doesn’t, no matter the amount spent on his treatment, he will still die.
When she told me about this conversation with her cousins, I doubted if any sane family member would wish such on their relation, until I listened to a recorded clip of their conversation. It was chilling to say the least. They called her names for refusing to take to their advice. It wasn’t long after that, her brother passed away. While she was mourning, her cousins wouldn’t stop reminding her how her brother finally died and still left her in poverty because of her foolishness.
Be careful who you listen to most times. Some family members are very toxic. Most of them are after their own interests. Do not be fooled by those who swarm around you when you are at the top of your game, most will not break a sweat to save you if the need arises.
There is something called power of attorney. While alive, hale and hearty you can decide on who represents or acts on your behalf in private affairs, businesses, or some other legal matters in the event of any eventualities be it death or being incapacitated.
In advanced countries, people decide on every issue that concerns them, their health, children and spouses based on observations. They even decide on who takes custody of their child or children if they pass on suddenly. These people think and work ahead of time. They don’t believe in God forbid. They live deliberately by planning ahead.
Over here, we hate to discuss some of these salient issues that has become the bane of our humanity. We feel talking about them means inviting death or something. Unfortunately, nothing is guaranteed in life. Families are torn apart at the demise of loved ones or when they lose consciousness and become incapacitated.
We must wake up to the realities of the world we live in today. Protect yourself and those who matter to you in case of eventualities. Decide on who takes certain decisions on your behalf should need be. Some family members including your parents, siblings, spouses and even children may not always have your best interest at heart. Observe and decide on those you trust will protect you and your own on certain issues of life if push comes to shove.
Those who do what is expected of them in the event of death or when one is unable take certain decisions on their own are your real family, not those related to you by blood alone.