By Ebere Wabara
HERE is the latest vituperation from the incurably deranged brute with a nomenclatural notoriety known as Don Ubani: “Before he became a governor in 1999, Kalu was not a millionaire.” After my holistic exposition on this old buffer on September 9, this year, I had thought that the monumental shame and perpetual bondage of curse ghastliness on him by his father would subject him to taciturnity and optimal avoidance of the social media or any other public space/sphere. Alas, the shameless and grossly irresponsible sonny still responded with more monstrous tantrums penultimate Saturday as excerpted above and below!
Anarchistic Don Ubani should go and ask some of the founding fathers of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), like Dr. Alex Ekwueme, Alhaji Atiku Abubakar, Dr. Sule Lamido, Prof. Jerry Gana, Chief Audu Ogbeh, et al, about the N100 million Dr. Kalu donated to the PDP at its formation in early 1998 long before becoming Abia State transformative governor in 1999, among other mega-financial contributions to the party. Yet, the mod and uncivilised skinhead has the rocker temerity of a chronic alcoholic and inveterate gambler to declare in his stupefaction that Dr. Kalu was not a millionaire as at 1999!
This is the last time I will dignify the buffoon called Don Ubani with the mention of his accursed and worthless name in The Sun or indeed anywhere else. Why should I condescendingly be expending precious resources on an ill-man (by virtue of my unassailable and irrefutable expose on him a fortnight ago)? Please, vide Daily Sun, Friday, September 9, 2016, Page 35.
The second asininity from Don Ubani: “As a formidable member of former Governor T. A. Orji’s media team, I was vigorously at the forefront of projecting and defending that administration.” It is only an imbecile that will barefacedly and stupidly identify with the worst governor in human history. And to compound the idiotic brazenness, the rascal delusively describes himself “a formidable member….” I can now appreciate why information mismanagement and dysfunctional communication characterised that disastrous administration. With a perpetually inebriate bohemian and an asinine sycophant like Don Ubani in Orji’s media team, among other equally charlatanistic blokes with bovine intelligence, T. A. Orji was inevitably doomed ab initio!
In his response to the prefatory of my sizzling triad (and other clinical dissections) on this stupid Ngwa wretch, he kept begging the question instead of comprehensively and imperatively addressing the critical issues I raised to wit: The fact of his being cursed by his father for supporting his mother’s adulterousness; dropped by the former Senate President, Chief Adolphus Wabara, for kleptomania; dismissed by the former action governor of Abia State, Dr. Orji Uzor Kalu, for traitorous disposition and dumped by T. A. Orji after using him, as an attack dog on Dr. Kalu! What were Don Ubani’s crimes? According to a member of the so-called media team, Don Ubani was notorious for flirtation with just any lady and treachery, among other infractions, hence T. A. Orji had to tolerate him till the end of his uneventful tenure. This buttresses why T. A. Orji owed him seven-month allowance – a development that led to Don Ubani’s uncharitable and unprintable charades on his immediate-past benefactor. Other afflictions of Don Ubani included floundering ephemerally from one political appointment to another, as a consequence of the trailing curse and generally not having any cognate employment record in any first-tier establishment or blue-chip company. All his miserable life has been dogged by subservience to politicians, who dump him once they discover his inclination and charlatanism. His younger brother based in Umuahia, Stamford, confirmed these indulgences and more.
The foregoing damnations are what I had expected this certified clown to elucidate instead of juvenile and specious stupidities of the public jester he is about Dr. Kalu, this columnist and my family with a rich history in Ndoki, Aba, Abia, Nigeria and the world on account of our academic and employment track records. Despite my cousin taking this insane four-foot local Ngwa public entertainer to Abuja for errand duties and up till now, who knows Don Ubani? I apologise to my readers globally for giving this short brat unprecedented visibility and recognition, which end today. Never again!
Another vicious deviancy from moronic Don Ubani: “When I started debunking the spurious claims and accusations of Orji Kalu, he had to hire an ill-mannered mercenary and exploiter in the person of one Ebere Wabara, who knows and does only one thing, insult people.” If this harebrained brief Ngwa tomfool were not an amnesic ingrate, he could not be talking scurrilously about Dr. Kalu, who once rehabilitated him before kicking him away for ignominious reasons adduced above. It is obvious this full-stop Ngwa baboon does not understand the rudiments of English language vis-à-vis “mercenary” and “exploiter” as they apply to the currency of my employment and official relationship with Dr. Kalu amid other personal engagements of mine. I excuse the ignorance of the small fry and move on.
When Dr. Kalu “hired” me because of my prodigious and quintessential pedigree of robust journalism, what happened thereafter? T. A. Orji’s euphemistic media team ran for cover! There was calm immediately as one of the most celebrated, intellectual, developmental and national award-wining journalists in the country (excuse my immodesty) and language therapist, according to Otunba Femi Adesina, FNGE, had come on board. Just six combustive rejoinders and two no-holds-barred articles on the tragedy that was governance in Abia State between 2007 and 2015 under the obfuscation of T. A. Orji, he (the erstwhile governor), one callous Barrister James Okpara (his aide) and the tiny tot called Don Ubani connived and executed my historic abduction in 2014 for having the ferocious audacity to challenge the despicable developments in Abia State and its holistic ruination by the one Don Ubani and other bootlickers comically call “Ochendo” in regular, unparalleled theatrics!
Still on the political brigand known as Don Ubani with another hog-wash: “Ebere Wabara should, therefore, be sympathised with instead of being vilified each time he rains abuses on highly respected gentlemen. Ebere Wabara only (sic) knows and has the register of insult (sic).” Who are the highly respected gentlemen? T. A. Orji, cabalistic clan of “Abia Elders,” the famished tribe of “Abia Patriots,” the gangsters that constituted “Mezie Abia Organisation,” the murderous “Ochendo Vanguard” and the diseased clan of Don Ubanis and similar nondescript hooligans? If these mites, who hallmark penury are gentlemen, it means words have lost their meanings indeed! How can these accomplices of T. A. Orji be gentlemen by any shred of the parlance? Don Ubani, you and your co-travellers deserve to be stoned to death at the township stadium in Umuahia where you foolishly conspired with T. A. Orji and Barrister James Okpara to disallow Candidate Muhammadu Buhari from campaigning in 2015 with you in the first stead – not merely baptised with abuses endlessly!
Yet another tirade from the cursed papoose: “Ebere Wabara that is paid peanuts to protect, defend and project Orji Uzor Kalu…Many of us who made Orji governor left him after 2003 election. When we left, purely on principle and patriotism, nincompoops (sic) (a nincompoop) like Ebere Wabara became his advisers (sic).” The blatancy of falsity: Don Ubani, a bambino of incomparable smallness, was fired by Kalu on grounds of copious improprieties and financial recklessness. I have a copy of the letter formally terminating his subservience to Dr. Kalu.
Even as I receive a fat salary from The Sun, as the media advisor to the publisher, my relationship with Dr. Kalu is not about mercantilism, which Don Ubani is used to as an unemployable hack. Outside of my savings and investments as the youngest area manager (South East and South South) of the old Daily Times in its heyday, a former editor of a national newspaper, former Corporate Affairs Manager in ETB/Sterling (before I gracefully resigned from Sterling Bank PLC) and a PRM in Globacom not too long ago, among other institutional and individual accruals, the recent gargantuan beneficence of Dr. Mike Adenuga Jr. (GCON) to me on my book launch is so bullishly invaluable that Don Ubani in this his vanishing age and the entirety of his existential stupor with no gainful engagement/employment, in the past 40 years or thereabouts, will never dream of except in his malarial affliction!
If I am “porous (word abuse) and immature” for telling the world that a certain Don Ubani was cursed by his father and that banditry is in his lineage, I don’t want to be mature!
There is nothing hyperbolic or false about living in my Surulere five-flat home or my wife having a chain of shopping malls. Truly, when Don Ubani and his co-gangsters led by T. A. Orji and Barrister James Okpara came to abduct me in March 2014, I was in a rented apartment in Aguda, Surulere, but, following the near-fatalism of my kidnap, I had to expedite work on my second apartment in Surulere and moved house on April 14, 2014, to foreclose another abduction! Free lesson for barbaric Don Ubani and Co: Tenancy does not invalidate property ownership elsewhere. This Ngwa laddie cannot buy a plot of land in Aba let alone build a house in suburban Lagos (certainly not Surulere) or any other major city, as I have done, all to the glory of God. It is this reality that makes him counter my modest opulence from years of communications professionalism and diligence. An indigent hustler-for-life like Don Ubani can never understand why Dr. Kalu should be fabulously rich from his global entrepreneurship decades before becoming a governor.
The final idiocy from the cherub under focus: “He (Ebere Wabara) said he hates (sic) social media platforms and has (sic) nothing to do with them.” This dunce of a Don is incorrigible! My grouse is not about the social media, but their unmitigated abuse! Everyone can now see that really I should not be exchanging words with a stripling, who commits egregious grammatical blunders. One of the etymological solecisms in his online yarn is his inability to distinguish between ‘lose’ and ‘loose.’ It is obvious he does not comprehend most of my interventions, hence his incapacity and incompetence to constructively address the question marks on his humanistic juvenility.
I have deliberately left out most of the gory spins of this cub, as there is no point ventilating such fictional entries by a yob lest they gain relevance or become the truth.
•Wabara ([email protected]/080055001948) is the media adviser to Dr. Orji Kalu.