there are some relationships that start off like a whirlwind and all of a sudden they begin to wind down and we wonder, what happened? Some people in this type of relationship see signs that the heat has been turned off but they do nothing to crack it up a notch. Well what happens is that it eventually dies off. Often times when the relationship cools down this fast, you may be better off stepping off than trying to revive what is not there.
Here are 5 signs that the relationship is already dead and cannot be revived.
1. He no longer texts or calls you first. If you do not initiate any phone calls or email and text, you don’t hear from him. At this point, he is already taking a walk and might soon start running but not towards you. He is tired of the relationship and just hanging on to be polite. You do not want anyone treating you in this way. If he must go please let him go. You deserve more than pity.
2. These days when you manage to drag him to the restaurant for dinner he does not offer to pay. His attitude is, ‘You invited me, I didn’t want to come.’ Please do not let his attitude turn into an argument all the time. Just cut him loose.
3. Neither of you use terms of endearment any more. It used to be ‘Hi honey, how was your day?’ Now you barely use his name and he just screams your full name including your last name as if he wants to make sure that no part of you remains.
4. You hardly hang out anymore and even when you do, you prefer to go to a movie to avoid talking to each other. After the movie, you pretend to be sleeping as he drives you home. He is occupied on the phone the whole ride to your apartment and when you get there, he just waves and speeds off. Neither of you want to remain in this relationship, why are you torturing yourselves?
5. Of course when he calls to cancel that date, you are relieved because you never wanted to go anyway.
Your relationship has sailed away and you cannot anchor it, let it go. Next week we will explore other signs that tell you that it is over and you can move on without feeling guilty.
■ Dr. NJ