A friend has always wanted to buy himself a better car, but couldn’t afford one at the time and every effort to save towards it was always met with responsibilities that made it practically impossible. 

As a friend and financial advisor, he shared his concerns with me and I guided him on how to go about saving for the car with a company I work with. He became my client in 2016 and we drafted a two-year financial plan based on his monthly income. A specific amount of his monthly salary is sent to the company on a monthly basis. Certain luxurious lifestyle and extravagant spendings were put on hold as well. And he bought himself a new car last year. Remember he started saving for this car since 2016. 

This came as a surprise to many especially his friends, colleagues and relations who already started insinuating he’s stingy or involved in shady deals. A mutual friend complained bitterly how he ran to this friend/client for financial assistance and he told him he had no money to spare, but look at the expensive ride he just bought. He was already calling him a fake friend. “You only know your true friends when you are in need”, he said. 

Dear readers, that your friend (s) did not come through for you financially in your time of need does not make them fake. It does not matter that you think they have, yet refused to help you. Truth is that a lot of people are merely surviving, some are even feeding from hand to mouth but they keep their struggles to themselves hoping for better days, they would rather die than borrow or ask for assistance from anyone. 

Learn to see things differently. Some friends and family will even avoid you by every means possible when you are in need because they are ashamed to own up to you that they don’t have. Some friends may be unable to come through for you now, but definitely will in the future if a need arises and they are in better positions to help. 

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To people who are quick to call their friends and family members who have supported them financially one time or many other times in the past fake just because they are unable to support them again going forward, you are the fake friend yourself. You are not only fake but selfish and irrational. It means you are overly needy, always shamelessly disturbing for financial assistance and have gotten so comfortable that you see it as your right. You are the major reason most friends would rather not be too generous because they are afraid you might start to abuse such kind gesture. This entitlement mentality needs to be silenced in your life and it has to start by thinking these possibilities through. 

Smart people in the midst of scarce resources are keying into financial savings plans to take care of specific projects in the future. They set 2, 5, 7, 10,15 or 20 years financial plan for themselves. They dedicate a portion of their income no matter how little either on monthly, quarterly, or even on annual basis. This plan could be for a building project, travel the world on adventure, go on vacation, send their kids to school of choice or even live a more comfortable life in the future. They discipline themselves, deny themselves of certain luxuries and unnecessary expenses just to fund such savings. While at it, they could be broke and in dire need of money to settle some financial needs but they keep holding on because they are looking at the bigger picture. Learn from them as well. 

Waiting for a bulk sum may take longer than ever. Complaining that your income can barely take care of your basic needs is no longer a viable excuse. Save however little, you can start with a piggy bank. Always drop some money in there. You will be surprised how much you are able to save at the end of one year. 

Do not be quick to discard friends who do not help you now. This is also not to say that there are no fake or stingy friends, they actually abound. And for your own good, it’s best to consider the thoughts your “friends” think towards you irrespective of their financial status. You should have this consciousness that financial assistance on its own does not make anyone your true friend. Some people will always come through for you financially but it’s a grand plan for their own future selfish gains. They would have gained your trust and confidence, then hit you below the belt. This is also not to say that there are no genuine friends who will stand by you all the way with no ulterior motive. 

Whatever you do, plan for your future and stop antagonising your friends for money you didn’t give them to keep for you.