Quit living for the moment. It’s time you looked forward and plan for tomorrow. Happy endings don’t just happen, it is deliberately planned.
Amaka Nicholas
Daily, we hear adults speak ill of their parents or spouses. People have taken to social media to share their joy at the demise of their parent or spouse, wishing that they rest in hell.
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I have heard spouses and kids say this to their partners and parents ‘see you at old age’ which is a well loaded statement.
Some parents and spouses are as difficult as hell. They are highly irritable, unapproachable and do not love or show affection.
Once they are home, their spouses or children literally go into hiding or quiet mood because every move they make is met with very unpleasant and toxic words including physical assault.
Your family is afraid of you and they live in this nightmare for years. You go on terrorizing them. They pick up damaging behaviors that come with the trauma of living with toxicity daily. It has to always be your way or the high way.
You are busy building permanent structures with temporary situations. You forget there’s something called old age and tomorrow when your strength has faded, when you will depend on these same people you are barely nice to.
If you treat them like a burden while you had strength and control over them, they will treat you like a burden at old age rather than a responsibility.
If you build your ego on the suffering and humiliation of your partner or children, you will never enjoy peace of mind at old age. You will live with the consequences of your own actions.
There are no government retirement homes for aged people here. At old age, you will be at the mercy of your immediate family, God forbid if you treated them with so much disregard and disrespect.
They will so ruthlessly deal with you when you can no longer defend yourself. They will abuse you physically and psychologically for ruining their lives and self esteem while you still had strength.
Quit living for the moment. It’s time you looked forward and plan for tomorrow. Happy endings don’t just happen, it is deliberately planned. You cannot be an absentee and irresponsible parent or spouse, yet expect that later in life your children or spouse will treat you better and differently.
Absentee and cruel parents or partners don’t make good history subjects. And these people should know that cursing their spouses and children because they abandoned or mistreat them at old age won’t matter. They are just getting served by karma.
Money cannot be a substitute for your presence, love and affection for your loved ones. Showing emotion will not make you a weakling. Treating your spouse and family with iron fist won’t make you better either.
We know you are busy with work to make them comfortable, as much as possible, try to be there for them. Be present. Showing them you truly care about them does not stop you from being who you are.
Ignore the fear that they may take advantage of you. You wouldn’t know that if you don’t show them love. It’s best you are on their good side because you naturally attract what you give. If you give love, affection and attention, you will them back in return.
Picture your life as a movie, what happy ending do you see in your later years? Do you see a horror movie or a super hero movie? Think about this and make hay while the sun shines.
It is the longest holiday season and that time of the year we get to spend with family. It is not too late to make peace. You are dying to tell them sorry but your ego won’t let you.
They are waiting, hoping for a miracle. You just have to make a move, swallow your pride, look them in the eye, tell them of how terrible a partner or parent you have been and then sue for peace.
Ask for their forgiveness, you owe it to them and to yourself. They may or may not forgive you per say, they may say unprintable stuff and even walk out on you, but they will find closure eventually.
For every bad action towards your spouse or children, think about your old age. They will meet you there and what you sow is what you will eventually reap, even if they decide to pay you evil for good, let posterity judge them.
Nobody deserves to be treated less than a human being by their spouse, children or parents. Let true love guide your actions. Compliments of the season.
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RE: Are you single and always broke?
What a wonderful write-up. Thank you for your advice.
-08063882***
Under the sub-topic you are dating more than one woman; kindly continue to dish out more of this wisdom filled topics. As an ardent reader of your page, we are with you. God be with you and your family. I am wishing you a merry Christmas and happy New Year in advance.
-Elder Ashaolu Alege Olaleye, Osun State
Amaka, many thanks for this end of the year financial therapy ‘single and always broke’. There is no better time than now as opportunity to start afresh in the New Year. 2018 is just days away. Please post this piece on the internet where the mind and attention of our youths are for a wider coverage.
-From Pastor Stephen, Abuja