Something offensive is really going on and people, especially the ‘Internet generation’ pretend it is probably one of the fallouts of the new normal caused by the COVID-19 pandemic.
No, it is not, rather it is one of those societal ills that needs to be to nipped in the bud and corrected immediately before it becomes a standard practice.
Not too many would pretend that they have not noticed the offensive display of various sizes of bare buttocks, especially by females who refused to package or cage their “backside” with decent underwear to stop offending the sensibilities of others. Now, that backside is mentioned here, one popular and sometimes controversial Pentecostal pastor was associated with that word in a popular song in the days before He had his Damascus road experience.
But wait, have you ever woken up for an early morning assignment or engagement and caught sight of ladies shaking their bare buttocks and half-covered breasts on the street without giving a hoot about who is following behind or staring at them. How do full-fledged adult women wake up and hit the road without covering up that vital part of their anatomy with adequate inner wears? It is so rampant among the ‘jet age’ and I ask, has it become a crime these days for ladies to wear undies and look decent in appearance? Or has such habit become old school syndrome? Is it better to walk on the roads without proper dressing because the Internet age dominates such space and, therefore, should be a welcome idea. I know professional critics will label me Mama Old School. No problem, but let us bear in mind that someone is addressed the way he/she is dressed. No matter how we claim to be spoilt children otherwise known as ‘buttie children’, there is a standard practice and accepted way of living.
Unfortunately, one of such embarrassment came the way of Mrs Bowale who dropped her children off to school, and the attendants took the children in. She rushed out of the house half naked because the children were running late to school and the comfort of her Toyota RAV 4 was a big shield for her. But then, she became very unlucky when the ignition of the vehicle could not start again. Even as a few other male parents came to her rescue, she could not come down because if she tried it, it would have been a major disaster and offensive sight bearing in mind her huge frame.
In all honesty, stylish and elegant women like wives of presidents and governors, senior executive officers in various parastatals, women who hold position of responsibility and authority do not walk half naked. Have you ever seen women who attended finishing schools and taught how to present a near perfect look to complement their offices, parade themselves without underwears? They are not taught to display bouncing bums and boobs in the presence of their guests without underwears. Rather, they are trained to kill the style from the inside and the outfit just rests on the body while the shape and figure packaged from the inside sits comfortably for admiration.
Now, ladies who were raised and trained by accomplished women of the old generation do not walk around without underwear because it is an abhorable sight. This brings Mama Orewande Januario, the great-great grand-daughter of Bishop Samuel Adjayi Crowther and the first set of Queens College, Lagos, in the 40’s to mind. My last interaction with her was during her 80th birthday many years ago. I went news hunting around her, and on sighting me from her sitting room, she quickly walked into her room and reappeared with all essential chest and waist package. She said as young girls in QC then, their Irish principal, Miss Hopkins, taught them how to dress to look smart without others seeing through their bodies. “Our Irish principal taught us to dress from the inside with well-rounded panties and firm brassiere that give that expected look of a lady. She would announce at assembly ground to hold the stomach, push out our chest and shoulders, then walk with calculated gaits like queens without the buttocks flustering and distracting others.”
Mama Januario said that in no time, every student picked up that advice and all shaky backsides and big tummies disappeared among the bevy of girls. Most of the girls with big frames wore tight fitted panties and girdle to hold firm their love handle.
In the same vein, Mama Edith Morenikeji Sawyer-Hutchfall who was Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe’s secretary, in one of the interactions I had with her before her passage, said that one of the vital components of the training of a secretary at High-Holbein Secretarial School, London, was how to dress as a smart ladybird and walk with confidence. She said: “In fact, when I came back from London and applied for the high executive job, two other sophisticated ladies and I were chosen for the final showdown. On the ultimate interview date, my appearance became my first consideration as one of the female judges commended my dress sense. Don’t forget, I was fresh from London, with the right prim and proper short frock, high heel shoes, flat stomach and held my handbag as if it would drop off my hand; Alas, it was not going to drop, we were trained on how to carry lady’s handbags, sit, smile, laugh, eat, walk and interact with first timers, both men and women, in High-Holbein which was more of a finishing school for privileged girls. It was a stiff competition between us because all had great speed when it comes to typing and other secretarial works, but my appearance was perfect and that was it. We were taught to hold firm the bodice from the inside and allow the dress just sit perfectly on the body and that was exactly what I did. “With firm underwear, I held all my contours and there was no unnecessary body movement; my appearance alone gave me an added advantage and the job became mine. It required a great skill and zeal to be the secretary of a prominent and distinguished personality like the Great Zik of Africa.
Remarkably, going through the accounts of these women, none was described as being naked or wore G-string pant and push-up brassieres that allow the bum and boobs be outside the ring, and bouncing about. If it ever happens, such would not go scot-free from hounding by the press. Even ladies like Cossy Orjiako whose blessing of boobs runneth over, display it without caution.
A dress seller who drove away students that could have been her clients recounted the experience this way: “Three ladies came to my shop to buy clothes for their sent-forth party. They appreciated what they saw and removed their clothes to try on the outfits. On sighting their naked bums with the G-string they wore, I screamed and refused to sell to them again. I called them ‘Umu mmebi uwa’…which means children of the end time.
My dear youthful boys and girls, I am not blaming your choice of underwear as the cause of the incessant rape because a rapist is a murderer. I am only wondering whether anyone has ever won a laurel for displaying naked body parts all over the town. Agreed every adult has his or her life to live to the fullest, but ask yourself what real profit will you get if you satisfy the satanic urge to flaunt flesh and then lose your soul and dignity in the process.
Let’s be honest, even my critics will agree that the sight of naked buttocks fills them with revulsion.