We can ignore reality, but we cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality…Ayn Rand
Expectedly, most Nigerians are still in shock over the death of 12-year-old Sylvester Oromoni, a student of Dowen College Lekki, Lagos, who received grievous fatal beating by some senior students of the school, which led to his demise within days of the gruesome incident. As in the case of the biblical Abel, the blood of Sylvester has been crying.
Not a few men shed tears after reading the account of his father, who said that even after giving up the ghost, tear drops still rolled down the face of the young boy whose last words were: “I don’t want to die.” Without a doubt, Sylvester died a painful, agonising death. Death that could have been prevented! In the wake of the revelations that are tumbling out, you begin to understand why parents of the alleged culprits who are now resorting to what Americans refer to as “cover you a*se) are getting heat from Nigerians. For too long they condoned the irresponsible behaviour of their children. And now Sylvester has borne the brunt of their parenting failure.
Instead of the cool breezy greenery of the Christmas season, there is pain and flow of blood. Hearts have been broken by the unfolding details of what transpired. Saddening as it is, the unfortunate and absolutely preventable death of Sylvester should serve as a wake-up call on all stakeholders to end the evil called bullying in public and private schools.
What is emerging is the stark realisation that bullying has eaten deep into the school system. No school, whether big or small, expensive or not, in the city or rural community, is free from bullying because it comes in various forms. The evil is driven by the egotistical spirit of the bully who wants to intimidate the one being bullied. Intimidation is not only about beating which is the most common type, when a student develops hatred for his or her school, exhibits cold feet close to resumption day, becomes withdrawn, watch it, bullying is taking place somewhere, either by forceful dispossesion of beverages, money, food and other forms of oppression.
While my children were boarding students, I had on occasions heard a vice principal encourage the junior students to speak up whenever they were bullied. Very commendable, but does that vice principal sleep in the same dormitory with the students after the day’s activities? Does he/she know what happens at the dark corners of the school? Does he see the hidden signs in the night when they are expected to be sleeping? Victimization in school is carried by cabal because it has ‘modus operandi’ strategically hidden from the authorities of the school. A bully and the bullied might stand before a teacher without the teacher getting an inkling of the bullying going on. The worst scenario of bullying is the intimidation that comes with it. The main reason victims of bullying keep tight-lips and endure it is because they expect to get to senior class, to retaliate and avenge themselves on the junior ones. That is how bullying becomes a vicious circle of criminality. When a bullied child keeps suffering and pretending that all is well, it definitely affects the psyche of the young growing one even as he grows into the larger society.
The school, ab initio, is meant to be a vehicle for positive social change and societal transformation through thoughtful learning, but regrettably, most of the schools and their administrators have failed in their laid down responsibilities while imitating the social world. They cover up bullying as we are now getting to see, from the revelations being made. The goal of raising children who are worthy ambassadors, whose lives should be shaped by higher values has been lost with recent actions and activities of our young adults in secondary schools. Schools, especially the ones with boarding facilities, are meant to create a system to develop and raise fit and proper individuals for the larger society.
Clearly, schools should ultimately produce leaders who stand out as shining examples for the wider society. The first responsibility of institutions of learning is to accomplish mission of producing trailblazers in all walks of life, who should fly the country’s flag high at home and in foreign lands.
Schools are designed to uphold, define and ingrain uniquely esteemed values of heroism, brotherhood and excellence into students but most unfortunately, some senior students who were also bullied by their own seniors in various institutions of learning have turned boarding schools into a nightmare, trauma and punishment for the younger ones. This is a sign of system failure, and a slow but steady descent. Certainly, the society cannot allow victimization of junior students to be perpetuated. There must be nationwide move to break the vicious circle.
The recent Sylvester case and the much earlier incident that compelled the Edo State government to shut down and given indefinite suspension to the principal of the school, have reinforced the belief of many that boarding are fast tuning into a den of bullies and killers. In a situation, where a child leaves the home for the school and rather than focus on pursuing academic excellence, the child gets carried away by frivolities and bullying is condemnable. I have not forgotten an encounter I had on September 14th, 2015. My son just gained admission into King’s College, Lagos and we were on ground for registration processes. A very old boy of the same school, who was in his 70s, knew we were new and beckoned on my boy, I followed suit. He had seen our file with us and congratulated my boy. The next thing he said was: ‘You will be the first beneficiary of your success.’ What he said registered in subconscious. Oromoni might not be the first student to die due to pains inflicted by bullies, but the senior students who are alleged to have bullied and fatally beaten him are now are cooling their feet in police custody. If God had not kept Sylvester alive, long enough to mention their names before giving the ghost, their parents would have quietly withdrawn them from the school and perhaps relocated them abroad, to do more havoc.
This death should be an eye opener, a turnaround moment for all stakeholders. For the five students accused of killing Sylvester, their hands are soaked with blood which will haunt them as long as they live until the die. Hands will obviously point at them in future as the killers of Sylvester, no matter the heights they attain in life. When they were bullying Sylvester, they were jubilant big boys, but today the long arm of the law has caught them.
School owners and administrators, who cover up evil, should have a change of heart. Do recall the case of the 14-year-old student of a private school in Lugbe, Abuja, who died of sepsis earlier this year? A used condom was found inside her. The school successively stonewalled and prevented all information from emerging. Her mother wept all over, yet the school stood its grounds.
In the light of what happened to Sylvester, schools can afford to engage the services of duty officers whose responsibilities would be to man the dormitories in the wee hours. Schools should illuminate the whole school premises. Parents pay PTA dues every term; let the funds be used to run the schools.
I saw a meaningful WhatsApp post: “We should be vigilant about senior boarding house masters and house mistresses, who should not be too long on a particular duty post so as not to sit on intelligence reports. I recommend occasional closed-door meetings with junior students and quietly reward those who provide useful intelligence report. Their identity should be directly protected by the principals. There should be unscheduled visits to senior hostels, to look for torture devices like recline wire, rod, belt buckle, broken tables and chairs, spoilt hanger, ropes and sharp objects. Then, avoid putting senior students with junior ones in the same dormitory as mates do not bully each other. At most they fight it out.”
This other Whatsapp post is equally germane: “We have Dowen Colleges in our homes, environment and everywhere. When a parent is beating a house help and bragging, “I will kill you and nothing will happen”, your child’s subconscious mind is recording it. When you keep on defending and denying your child’s misbehavior at home and elsewhere instead of scolding and beating the demon out of him or her early enough, you are rearing a potential monster. When you boast in front of your children how you dealt with this person or that, they are learning from you.”
Dear parents, boarding schools are training grounds for future leaders, and not correctional centres for badly raised children. All hands must be on deck to end the evil of bullying. If we ignore reality, we cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.