Mrs Obi, for that was her name cried for so long that at a point I wondered if she will stop. What could have happened? I pondered; it must have been really shattering. After 30 minutes, my pack of tissue emptied, the tears subsided. She looked forlorn. “I am so sorry, Barrister. I didn’t mean to breakdown like this, it’s just…it’s just that I feel overwhelmed. I have been carrying this burden of guilt since the incident,” Mrs Obi stammered between hiccups with a shaky voice.
“It’s ok Madam,” I said, smiling encouragingly. Mrs Obi’s story sounded like something from a Nollywood movie. Apparently her younger sister, a senior banker in one of our new generation banks had met this young man a few years back and married him in 2013; the marriage was plagued with physical, psychological and verbal abuse.
The first time this man embarrassed and beat up her sister in public before they were married, he came to her to plead with her sister to forgive him. “I didn’t know he was a demon in human skin, I can’t forgive myself for the role I played, I only pray that God and my sister forgives me for encouraging her to marry that good for nothing brute,” Mrs Obi said and broke down in tears again.
I sighed; this was going to be a long day. I felt like shaking her and telling her to get a grip on herself, tears were good to relieve tension but it would not solve the problem. She finally calmed down enough to finish her sad but true story.
I was mortified at the extent a man will go to ‘control’ his wife. I better give you guys a summary; in the five years (let’s call them Nkiru and Emeka) they were married she had four miscarriages but finally managed to give birth to the fifth child which eventually turned out to be their first.
All this happened in the midst of incessant beatings to the point that she will pass out. Nkiru had her child after a gruesome labour, Emeka again took out his frustration on her five days after giving birth. He blamed her for his joblessness (when in actual fact he couldn’t get his lazy ass off the bed to find a job. He preferred to ‘burn’ her money) and had gone to the Bank a couple of times to embarrass Nkiru at work.
Mrs Obi, like most people, did not realise on time that Emeka was a serial abuser and continued to encourage her baby sister (fifth removed from her) to endure and be patient. Nkiru not really the talking type eventually stopped complaining and continued to endure the abuse until it climaxed that faithful day, five days after she put to bed. Obviously suffering from postpartum depression coupled with the fact that she was tired of reporting Emeka to her family, she literarily stopped talking and created a make believe world that all was picture perfect.
Something must have finally snapped in Nkiru’s mind because after the beating five days post-delivery, she lost her mind. Yes, she went mad and full blown too. She is presently in a Psychiatric hospital, has never breastfed her baby or had a chance to hold her baby lovingly to her bosom.
Mrs Obi blames herself for her sister’s condition and wishes she had listened to her when Emeka first hit her and she said she wanted out of the relationship before they got married. As I listened to Mrs Obi lament, I wondered why she couldn’t see there was no need crying over spilled milk.
It is time to get practical. At Warien Rose Foundation, we have an in house Psychiatrist and a Psychologist, so I gave her my Psychologist’s number who is a Principal Clinical Psychologist in a Neuro-Psychiatric Hospital. “Madam I know you are very angry with Emeka, but it’s best to concentrate on getting Nkiru better. We will deal with Emeka later,” I said wearily after one of the longest sessions I have had in recent times. Emeka would certainly get what’s coming to him. If anyone out there has an issue with that, then it’s your problem!