Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, but some women will not get rose flowers or other romantic gifts from their husbands. And why not? Such women have paid attention to the devil and sowed discord between their husbands and the children of the marital union.

These women have effectively drawn the children into their unwise plan of emotional blackmail against the man, all in the bid to win the children over to their side. This is a pure case of a woman pulling down her home with her own hands, destroying what they had built together with their husbands. What a pity!

Really, when a seed of discord is sown by a woman between father and children, siblings or spouses, it often takes a long time to recover from the damage done. How does it start, you may ask? It begins when a woman starts misusing the advantage of having carried the children in her womb, to poison their minds against their father. In such situations you may find the woman telling the children what they ordinarily should not know about what’s going on between the spouses – especially when she constantly tells them about the bad side of their father. By regularly complaining about the husband in the hearing of the children, she is indirectly sowing evil seed of discord and poisoning the children’s mind.

The danger in this is that by the scales fall from the eyes of the children when they are older and able to better judge what they had been hearing for some time, it could boomerang and then begin to haunt the woman for spreading lies about the man. That is why a sensible woman should not use the psychological weapon of capturing the minds of children when there is a quarrel between her and the husband. The Good Book cautions that a “wise woman builds her house while a foolish one tears it down.”

Let us face a little truth: no marriage ever happened without the man and woman having been lovey-dovey at some point. Yes, after all they exchanged saliva and experienced “other things” along the way and eventually the romance took them to the labour room and maternity ward. The coming of babies expectedly added more strands to strengthen the bond between them. Yes, the pressures of being together can cause some friction but God expects them to learn to lubricate the relationship, to reduce the heat generated by marital friction. And in the process recognise the higher goal of raising good children that will give them joy and contribute to the good of the larger society. That would only be possible when neither of the spouses deploys ungodly tactics, sowing evil seeds in the mind of the children and manipulates them. Doing so only fulfils the three-fold ministry of the devil: “to steal (joy, happiness), to kill (the spirit with bad influence, hurtful words, etc) and to destroy (relationships, unions, etc).”

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In essence, women who brainwash, sponsor and reset the mind of their children against their father are simply evil. Such women can kill and maim. Fornication and adultery are the only sins associated wioth marriages. To slander one’s spouse is equally sinful. In the same manner, a wife who would take unilateral decisions that could negatively affect the husband without caring about his input is clearly acting in error, and hurting her union. Take the case of the Nelson family, where a mother pulled her son out of school and registered him in another school without the husband’s consent. That move was very wrong and a clear insult to the man. Actually the couple agreed that the man should focus on earning income to sustain the family, while the non-working wife would take care of the school runs and associated activities. As it turned out, the child had complained to the mother of being bullied by senior students, but the same complaint was not made to the authorities of the school. Being a father concerned about the future of the son, he was incensed and ready to confront the school management.  On getting to school the next day, he discovered that his boy was just playing pranks and was not ready to submit to the discipline and ‘confinement’ of the school. The development did not warrant the woman pulling out the boy without the father’s. When the father insisted that the boy must return to the school, the poor boy’s mind was poisoned and made to believe that his father disliked him and that was why he insisted he should get back to the boarding school. Meanwhile, the mother projected the image of an angel who loved her son better than his father. It got so bad that the other children greeting their father in the morning and when he was coming at the day. Whenever they heard the sound of his feet returning home, the children would scamper to hide as if the father was a ghost.

The COVID-19 lockdown affected numerous business enterprises in a negative away with result that several of them had not come back to life. So, in some cases the wives have come the breadwinners because their enterprises were not affected and they carried on. Suddenly able to bear the cost of providing for the family, such a woman would begin to say terrible, demeaning things about the man. Words that make the man feel like jumping into the lagoon. When a husband is called names, spoken to carelessly, ridiculed and cajoled in his own home, a mother brags about how she pays all the bills to the hearing of the children, it is a big sign of disrespect, that poisons the minds of the children against their father.

A family of four in Port Harcourt, Rivers State sorted this type of issue out immediately when it reard its head, before the devil got involved. The man, Mr Samuel Onyeyiri, was a successful building contractor that worked for multinational companies. As his job took him far and wide and he often was away for weeks. But he was always conscious to carry out responsibilities to his family. Despite this, his wife continued to suspect of having extramarital affairs when he was away. She kept wondering how he was surviving sexually? As her suspicion heightened, the husband asked her one certain day, ‘Have you seen another woman with me?’ What is the proof of your suspicion? Those questions rattled the marriage of over 28-years. The wife, a teacher, began to feed their two grown children with lies, claiming she was strongly behind the payment of the school fees. The man was not aware of what was happening until he returned one day and asked his 24-year-old, Isaac, to clean his car. The young man arrogantly refused to do it. He even boldly blurted out to the father: “After all, you are not responsible for my education.”

What the son, shocked the man and made him do a sober reflection, wondering where that statement came from. Instead of querying or challenging his wife, he put his mouth on mute mode and waited for the drama to play out as school was about to re-open. He stayed at home, refused to eat food and told himself to wait for the miracle that would enable Isaac and Isabella return to the university. School finally resumed and no news from the self-acclaimed buoyant mother. The two weeks became hell on earth. The daughter went to her mother to remind her that schools had resumed and there was need to return to school. The mother could not cough out the said amount; she shamelessly went to her husband to ask for her children’s school fees. The gentle Onyeyiri summoned a family meeting and asked his son to get school fees from his usual purse. Isaac asked his mother at the early morning family gathering to give them money as usual, but mother could not. At this time, the father brought out all the documents that proved his responsibility as their father; the two children faced their mother squarely and insulted the living daylight out of her. She was left in bitter pains and until date she never earned the respect of her children as they saw the sharp division she almost brought to the entire family.

Mothers, please tread carefully in this journey of life. Look before you leap, stop feeding your children lies, bitter stories and sowing seeds of discord between them and their father, you husband. There are times a woman covers her husband’s shame and not make it a public show, especially when children are involved. That adage that says whatever one sows is what one reaps is a deep statement.