“Please, what best way would you recommend that I use to call off our engagement and not be the bad guy?”
“She is an amazing girl and I fell in love with her. She dots the I’s and crosses the T’s for me. I started to picture our lives together. On my birthday in the presence of many who came to celebrate with me, I asked her to be my wife and she accepted.
“We were doing just fine, until I met this other woman about a month ago, and she has taken over my heart. I haven’t felt this way in a while. I wake and sleep with thoughts of this new woman on my mind.
“I don’t just know, but I have developed serious cold feet towards my marriage plans to my fiancé. She has not done me any wrong in particular, I am just not interested in marrying her again and I cannot lay my hands on any reason for my cold feet. I guess love fades.
“I’m acting up, spoiling for fights, looking for the easy way out so as to blame calling off the engagement on her because I don’t know how best to tell her it is over after this whole time. I don’t think I can confront her one on one neither can I stand the hurt or feeling of betrayal.
“I am tempted to break up with her via text message. Please, what best way would you recommend that I use to call off our engagement and not be the bad guy?”
When it comes to marriage, I believe no one should marry anyone out of pity. You are still engaged to her because you are looking for the easy way to blame calling off the engagement on her rather than taking full responsibility.
You want her to live with the guilt and only cowards do that. Man up and tell her the truth if you are not feeling her any longer. She deserves better and you deserve more. Love should happen naturally. It should never be forced. Call her up, meet with her and tell her the truth. Explain to her that it is no fault of hers.
Ask for her forgiveness and be remorseful about it. You know that she’s the one who is wearing the engagement ring about, people already know there’s a man, and now she’s also left to go about without the ring, and explain to whoever asks that she is single again.
Breaking up with her via text message will be a low blow to say the least, do not do that to her. If you think you are in love with this new girl, think again sir.
A new relationship is like acquiring something new, it is exciting, but give it time and you will tire yourself out. Law of diminishing return sets in, you will get bored and want something better or new.
You don’t have to quit your relationship whenever you develop cold feet or anxiety except there are red flags, because cold feet will always happen even in marriage. It is very normal to have post-engagement doubts, because it is a life-altering decision.
Maturity is knowing that you need more than love to sustain a relationship. You need friendship, mutual respect, compatibility, good communication, financial stability to make your relationship a lasting one.
I would advise you hold on a little longer, let’s say for the next two months so you don’t regret your actions later and come begging after you have realized that you left the best for a mirage.
We have seen it happen before. And if your feelings for this new girl grow stronger in these two extra months, then go ahead and call off the engagement.
In addition, while calling off your engagement, you must take full responsibility for your action. Prepare for the worst too. Let her know she is not the problem. She may or may not understand now, but she will understand later or never. At the end of the day, that’s life, she will learn to roll with the punches.
If you insist you must end it with her now, timing is key to making it less painful as well. This is a New year, be sensitive, call it off after this festivity, this is not to say there’s a special time for beak up, just let her enjoy the season.
Dear readers, what’s the best way to call off this engagement?
RE: HAPPY ENDINGS DON’T JUST HAPPEN
Amaka, God bless you for this piece. Happy endings don’t just happen”
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Amaka, this is another thought provoking piece for our beloved Nigerians to digest and apply. To make a happy ending is not an entitlement, but an earning gotten from intentional investment and unconditional expression of care and love towards ones children or partners. Please think of converting your life transforming write-ups into a beautiful book.
–Pastor Stephen, Abuja
I am quite sure that you are being inspired by the Holy Spirit. This is an award winning article. Thanks and remain blessed all through your life.
-Ichie Kenneth Umeokolie
I will make changes. May you live long for Nigerians!
–Arowolo Mustapha, Lagos